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My husband is a shy guy braver online with a keyboard, but is shy around people until he gets to know them and then isn't a real chatter box like I am. He took a chance on me and I never really felt like he was shy with me except for the first phone call that took a while for him to build up the nerve to do that but once he did it was phone calls almost every night and for hours at a time.
It didn't put me off and I have never really felt like he was weak because of it.
But a word of advise to you shy guys - you do have to take a chance if you want to find the one.... They don't just show up at your front door or drop in you lap....lol
It didn't put me off and I have never really felt like he was weak because of it.
But a word of advise to you shy guys - you do have to take a chance if you want to find the one.... They don't just show up at your front door or drop in you lap....lol
I used to be the quintessential shy guy growing up. I was okay with my friends on our street (both girls and boys) but at school I was very quiet. It took me a while to muster enough confidence to talk to girls. So it turned out that some of the friendships with them I have today were initiated by them back in school. A result of this shyness was that a number of girls really liked me but wanted me to make the first move and I didn't. So we didn't...
I think (and this is just my opinion) the source of the shyness is a factor in how it comes across and in how "shy-guy" handles it. Coming out of primary school I was shy but okay. In my 1st year of high school my dad took his life. This changed me in more ways that I would care to admit at the time and I became very withdrawn. I didn't get to date in high school even though I would have wanted to. I was a very shy person, but also an angry person.
When I became a Christian shortly after leaving High School things changed for me over that 1st year. Using my then pastor and a close friend of mine, God helped me deal with past hurt and anger and then taught me to manage shyness. Today I may appear shy but once we are introduced God help you - no I'm kidding, you'll be fine. I love engaging people and i have an eye for shy people making a beeline for them at any gathering. I have people come to me at church and say "I wish I had your confidence in front of gatherings." They don't know that the shyness hasn't altogether gone. I just learnt to manage it, so it doesn't get in the way. Dates have come and gone. Dealing with my shyness and exuding more confidence has helped my dating over the years.
I think (and this is just my opinion) the source of the shyness is a factor in how it comes across and in how "shy-guy" handles it. Coming out of primary school I was shy but okay. In my 1st year of high school my dad took his life. This changed me in more ways that I would care to admit at the time and I became very withdrawn. I didn't get to date in high school even though I would have wanted to. I was a very shy person, but also an angry person.
When I became a Christian shortly after leaving High School things changed for me over that 1st year. Using my then pastor and a close friend of mine, God helped me deal with past hurt and anger and then taught me to manage shyness. Today I may appear shy but once we are introduced God help you - no I'm kidding, you'll be fine. I love engaging people and i have an eye for shy people making a beeline for them at any gathering. I have people come to me at church and say "I wish I had your confidence in front of gatherings." They don't know that the shyness hasn't altogether gone. I just learnt to manage it, so it doesn't get in the way. Dates have come and gone. Dealing with my shyness and exuding more confidence has helped my dating over the years.
G
Ooh! Cary Grant
I also like the Barney Fife type.....just kidding.
Gotta go before I say something too crazy haha!
I also like the Barney Fife type.....just kidding.
Gotta go before I say something too crazy haha!
I don't find shy women to be weak, so I doubt most women find shy guys to be weak... In fact, I very much prefer a quiet women instead of a brazen, cocky, loud mouth. Some bold and confident people come off as arrogant to me, while many shy people just suffer from low self-esteem. A bold person should probably tone it down, but they seldom do. After a shy person gets comfortable around you, they gain confidence and have no trouble speaking their mind.. Neither scenario is particularly preferable.
U
Actually the opposite is true. Women are prone to find outgoing men to seem more confident, strong and better leaders than a man who is shy and quiet. The 'alpha male', so to speak. The downside is many women go for the alpha male without realizing the potential serious flaws that can come along with them.
Of course there are all generalities and not reflective of all men and women, but do seem to be a generic standard.
Typically these sorts of questions are moot. Firstly there is no black and white answer to 'does X gender like/dislike/prefer/etc this trait in Y gender'. The answer is always 'it depends on the individual'. Sure, there can be more of a predominance, but with 7.5 billion people on earth even the minority still leaves a lot of potential choices and options.
And if you are asking, chances are you reflect the trait you're asking about. And it's who you are. So regardless of the answer you aren't going to magically change into the other type. And if you tried to you would simply be faking it and being dishonest with yourself and the other person.
Be yourself. Stop worrying about finding answers to unanswerable questions to gauge your chances. If God has it for you to marry, none of these questions or concerns will matter. He will bring the right kind of person at the right time.
Of course there are all generalities and not reflective of all men and women, but do seem to be a generic standard.
Typically these sorts of questions are moot. Firstly there is no black and white answer to 'does X gender like/dislike/prefer/etc this trait in Y gender'. The answer is always 'it depends on the individual'. Sure, there can be more of a predominance, but with 7.5 billion people on earth even the minority still leaves a lot of potential choices and options.
And if you are asking, chances are you reflect the trait you're asking about. And it's who you are. So regardless of the answer you aren't going to magically change into the other type. And if you tried to you would simply be faking it and being dishonest with yourself and the other person.
Be yourself. Stop worrying about finding answers to unanswerable questions to gauge your chances. If God has it for you to marry, none of these questions or concerns will matter. He will bring the right kind of person at the right time.
Being shy is not a sure sign of a weak man. But since you seem to need the help, let me tell you what IS weak.
Guys that try to manipulate girls are weak.
Guys that try to get sympathy from others by self-pity and sob stories, even if the sob stories are true, are weak.
Guys that push and whine and beg people to do something they don't want to ( provided that something is not vital, of course) are weak.
Guys that refuse to ever admit they are wrong are weak.
Guys who are not willing to meet people half way are weak.
Guys who throw a fit when they don't get their way are weak.
The above goes for both genders, of course. Sorry if I came off strongly, but I think you catch my poin now.
Guys that try to manipulate girls are weak.
Guys that try to get sympathy from others by self-pity and sob stories, even if the sob stories are true, are weak.
Guys that push and whine and beg people to do something they don't want to ( provided that something is not vital, of course) are weak.
Guys that refuse to ever admit they are wrong are weak.
Guys who are not willing to meet people half way are weak.
Guys who throw a fit when they don't get their way are weak.
The above goes for both genders, of course. Sorry if I came off strongly, but I think you catch my poin now.
Shy guys ftw! I heard shy guys are sweet. Is it true JL? Tourist was brave to let his hair down (i saw his pic and he has long hair ) and he is blessed to win your heart.
) and he is blessed to win your heart.