Do females find shy guys weak?

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Aug 13, 2013
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#81
In my opinion women don't like shy guys no matter how good a Christian they are and how close they are to God. it does not matter.

They want confident guys only. Even if they are non believers. They think they can change them later?
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,681
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#82
In my opinion women don't like shy guys no matter how good a Christian they are and how close they are to God. it does not matter.

They want confident guys only. Even if they are non believers. They think they can change them later?
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will never change.
Both are severely disappointed. :p
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
14,851
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#83
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will never change.
Both are severely disappointed. :p
I love that one! Einstein knew what he was talking about. :eek:

 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
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#84
The first lesson that I learned after getting married. :p

 
G

Grace29

Guest
#85
Hi! Ye this is quite a broad question as it's a matter of perception. Depends what you like or are attracted to as an individual.
Some girls are attracted to shy guys. Some not.

Me, personally, I prefer guys that are not shy. But that's just me.

I don't think you'll have a problem in finding the one. Remember we get what we give off. :)

Good luck and take care!
 

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
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#86
Its kinda sad, most of the negative answers on this thread come from males : (

I would think it would be kinda clear that it depends on the individual, like a girl on the shy side would click better with a boy on the shy side. Or maybe even the other way around, as in like, someone who is talkative would fit well with someone who is generally a better listener. I know someone who is quiet, and they say that theyd want to be with someone talkative, so that they wont have to do all the work, haha.

Not everyone in a group is exactly the same, some people are generally more comfortable with someone who is shy and quiet. I think I feel that way, and Im sure there are females who feel the same way, too.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
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#87
Yeah Yezara, my best friend is like that. He's really quiet and reserved, and his wife is talkative and wears her heart on her sleeve. How they ever got together I have no idea, because I can't see him making the first move... but they fit well together.
 
Apr 10, 2017
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#88
I ask because I'm extremely shy and always wondered if that was a problem in finding the one.
In my experience, generally speaking, the answer is yes.

I am introverted and shy, but most people are shocked to discover it ... when I let them find out, that is. :eek:

Early on in life, I observed the people around me. I saw how the shy ones usually got picked last when choosing sides for games. I saw how the shy ones were (sometimes) mistaken for weak and got bullied more than others. I saw the shy ones rarely spoke up first, so typically had to settle for less or sometimes nothing. I saw the shy ones unable to witness for Christ!

I learned that courage wasn't bravery, but taking action in spite of our fear. This helped me take courage and "fake it till I almost felt it". Once I became adept at appearing to be extrovert, most all situations in my life have always proven successful. People find me funny and a leader. They ask my advice. They listen to my testimony!!!

While truly inside, I am still a shy submissive little girl even though out in the world I'm 60 and a successful businesswoman! I am not fake, just fitting in with society and helping to spread His light more. People who I let get close to me know the real me. ... and now all of you do, too, come to think of it! LOL. :D Guess I let the cat out of the bag. But, I felt it would help the OP.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#89
I'm very shy around people in general. It's different for me online because there is a separation and I don't have to concern myself with things like body language and eye contact. In person though, I avoid eye contact and I am never one to initiate a conversation with anyone. I've never been able to introduce myself to anybody, women especially. The scant few relationships I had in my life were only possible because I somehow crossed paths with women that were willing to make the effort to introduce themselves and break the ice. Most likely, I encountered one or two really phenomenal women who would have been wonderful matches for me, but I was/am too big a coward to strike up a conversation.

Funny to me to reflect on something like that. Now that I am so bitter and jaded it's all moot, but it's funny to me to see the progression (catastrophic decline) of my attitude and personality towards women.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
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#90
I don't know the answer, but antoniomitchell, If people can't accept you the way you are, then they are not worth your time, Don't waste your time trying to conform to their image of the perfect man, just be yourself. It is a lonely place to be, because of hollywoods interpretation of the perfect man/woman, and what the world thinks is the perfect man or woman. Just be yourself, and do whats right, The only 2 things you need to worry about in life is what doe God think of you, and what do you think of yourself? If you can go to sleep at night, and respect yourself, that's all that matters.

See Jesus did accept people the way they are, but it's their sin he hated, so if you want something to do while you wait for the right woman, work on improving yourself, If you think your social life needs improving, work on it, if you think your confidence needs work, improve it, if your not happy being shy, try working on being a little more out going.

Your self improvement should make you happy. It should make you a better person. If it doesn't go against God's word you can do anything you want too. if you don't think God would approve, then don't do it.

I know one thing, I hate being alone, but I know what kind of Guy I am, Jesus made me the man I am and Im proud of it,
I still have flaws and areas that need improving and so does everyone else. im Gods gift to the world, and I know this in all my years of dealing with people, there is not a woman alive who will find a guy greater than I.


I ask because I'm extremely shy and always wondered if that was a problem in finding the one.
 
Jan 22, 2017
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#91
I say that there is nothing wrong with being shy. And it definitely doesn't mean that you are weak.
 
Jul 9, 2017
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#92
No, my Husband was shy, my son is shy, I was also shy. People are who they are, it doesn't mean your weak. Actually I always preferred conversations with quiet people like myself. I don't come off as shy on line but I am a little shy around new people.
I think we could be friends Fenner. I am a quiet person myself and tend to be a loner. My son is opposite of me though. He makes me come out of my comfort zone to talk to other parents so he can hang with his friends.
 
Jul 9, 2017
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#93
Wow, sorry to hear that but the good news is that you are 27 and not 67. You may have wasted 7 years but you didn't waste 50. I guess my point is that a desire for children should have been one of the first topics once your relationship moved into courtship.

7 years is what I meant when I said not to get too serious until you get to really know someone. I think it's very possible that you settled for less than you really wanted. You may have been looking at your girlfriend through rose colored glasses all along, seeing what you wanted to see and denying anything you didn't want to see.

If that was the case, it is born usually from low self esteem. Most of the time lack of esteem emanates from not having a strong male role model in your early development. I suffered from low self esteem in my early adult years and spent a lot of time trying to find myself.

Without going into a thesis here I can only tell you that your identity is in Christ. You are one with him. It is Christ inside you that empowers you and validates your existence. You can find strong identity in Christ that also will allow you to express everything that makes you unique and valuable as an individual. Basically, as you become more aware of God's love for you as an individual you will see what worth he placed on you and find confidence in yourself as valuable, both to yourself and a potential mate.
Well said.
 
Jul 9, 2017
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#94
Being shy is not a sure sign of a weak man. But since you seem to need the help, let me tell you what IS weak.

Guys that try to manipulate girls are weak.
Guys that try to get sympathy from others by self-pity and sob stories, even if the sob stories are true, are weak.
Guys that push and whine and beg people to do something they don't want to ( provided that something is not vital, of course) are weak.
Guys that refuse to ever admit they are wrong are weak.
Guys who are not willing to meet people half way are weak.
Guys who throw a fit when they don't get their way are weak.

The above goes for both genders, of course. Sorry if I came off strongly, but I think you catch my poin now.
That ma'am sounds like a narcissistic man whom I unfortunately dealt with in the past.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#95
I like shy men as much, if not more that confident men for several reasons.
1: They are assuredly soft spoken.
2: Getting to know them takes time and if you can break the ice with them, chances are you'll have their full attention.
3: Shy guys are happy to please when they open up...and since I can be the quiet and shy type too at first...I'm a people please too.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#96
I like shy men as much, if not more that confident men for several reasons.
1: They are assuredly soft spoken.
2: Getting to know them takes time and if you can break the ice with them, chances are you'll have their full attention.
3: Shy guys are happy to please when they open up...and since I can be the quiet and shy type too at first...I'm a people please too.
Be careful saying things like that. It goes against the de facto standard of women wanting some "alpha-male ex-badboy being turned into a beta provider ultra-faithful gym-rat" that seems prevalent in the world nowadays that excluded about 90% of all men right off the bat.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
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#97
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will never change.
Both are severely disappointed. :p
You stole my line!
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,013
68
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#98
Be careful saying things like that. It goes against the de facto standard of women wanting some "alpha-male ex-badboy being turned into a beta provider ultra-faithful gym-rat" that seems prevalent in the world nowadays that excluded about 90% of all men right off the bat.
Guess that's why I'm single. I was married to the bad boy, outgoing, life of the party type that broke my heart repeatedly over many,many years. I'm not interested in bad men anymore...I want a Godly, loving, attentive man in my life...I don't care if he's shy or self proclaimed nerd! :) And, if he doesn't love himself, I've got enough love for both of us...
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#99
Guess that's why I'm single. I was married to the bad boy, outgoing, life of the party type that broke my heart repeatedly over many,many years. I'm not interested in bad men anymore...I want a Godly, loving, attentive man in my life...I don't care if he's shy or self proclaimed nerd! :) And, if he doesn't love himself, I've got enough love for both of us...
Well, you're saying *dangerous* things. Be careful you don't get your "woman card" yanked for saying it. Best of luck to you though.