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R
agreed upon before??? wow you mean actually talking? Isn't it sad how we all are afraid....or shy when it comes to opening up about this stuff. Well I was....I see my son just paying for everything because he "thinks" that's the why it's supposed to be.
I told him if she has a job, then they can take turns. Plus, there are great "free" things to do to get to gab.
I told him if she has a job, then they can take turns. Plus, there are great "free" things to do to get to gab.
I have to add though that if a guy absolutely insists on paying for the first day, I DO consider that to be very gentlemanly and I'm a gal who still appreciates good old-fashioned chivalry.
A long time ago I dated a really sweet younger guy who took me to a great, kinda casual, fun place and insisted on paying, saying, "You're my guest, and I'm the one who invited you." I was mucho impressed.
Our next outing was to a theme park--I bought both our tickets online and had them in hand before we left, so that he couldn't try to protest over my paying.
I always try to make things even if I can.
A long time ago I dated a really sweet younger guy who took me to a great, kinda casual, fun place and insisted on paying, saying, "You're my guest, and I'm the one who invited you." I was mucho impressed.
Our next outing was to a theme park--I bought both our tickets online and had them in hand before we left, so that he couldn't try to protest over my paying.
I always try to make things even if I can.
U
Wow. Just wow. I learned something there. I honestly did not know people did things like that nowadays.
I wonder, are most of these male or female ? does anyone know??
I wonder, are most of these male or female ? does anyone know??
I've heard of other adults doing this as well.
Well, with there being a "war on women", women aren't being treated equally and fairly.
That in mind, it seems to me that they ought to be able to either pay for 1/2 of each meal or for every other meal...
Setting the liberal politics of the "war on women" aside, every woman I've dated felt like she should share in the responsibility of paying instead of l̶e̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ - uh leaning - on me.
That in mind, it seems to me that they ought to be able to either pay for 1/2 of each meal or for every other meal...
Setting the liberal politics of the "war on women" aside, every woman I've dated felt like she should share in the responsibility of paying instead of l̶e̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ - uh leaning - on me.
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T
How does it work? How do you learn to communicate one-on-one? It must be super-awkward for all parties involved.
Can you imagine:
We need to invite Third Wheel over so we can chat to each other.
Oh, wait. They should already be here.
What do we do?
Okay, I'll wait outside in the blizzard until Third Wheel arrives.
Nope. Not cool.
[video=youtube;Z3if9AdTGUU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3if9AdTGUU[/video]
Can you imagine:
We need to invite Third Wheel over so we can chat to each other.
Oh, wait. They should already be here.
What do we do?
Okay, I'll wait outside in the blizzard until Third Wheel arrives.
Nope. Not cool.
[video=youtube;Z3if9AdTGUU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3if9AdTGUU[/video]
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I was getting an expat salary in a developing country (fairly low by US standards but a lot there at the time) and my wife was a student who wasn't working, living on faith, with no money for eating out. I paid for the meals. But I would have wanted to, anyway. We were both traditionally minded in terms of gender roles. Her country tended to be more that way anyway.
If a man wants to marry a woman who will be a housewife or stay home with the kids, it makes sense to pay for the meals, unless its something like her treating him on a special occasion. It appeals to that traditional and innate desire for the man to be a provider. If she cooks or bakes you stuff and you pay for the meals, you may have the traditional vibe going. But if you take her out to Red Lobster, and she goes straight for the lobster and more expensive appetizers, you may have a gold digger. When I was taking my wife out to eat all the time, she'd help me spot the good-value-for-money places for us to eat. At first, she'd try to talk me out of spending too much on her for that sort of thing, and the phone, which is expensive for local calls there. I'd tell her it was okay and eventually she accepted that. If she is concerned about you spending too much money like you would be, that's a good thing.
If a man wants to marry a woman who will be a housewife or stay home with the kids, it makes sense to pay for the meals, unless its something like her treating him on a special occasion. It appeals to that traditional and innate desire for the man to be a provider. If she cooks or bakes you stuff and you pay for the meals, you may have the traditional vibe going. But if you take her out to Red Lobster, and she goes straight for the lobster and more expensive appetizers, you may have a gold digger.
When I was taking my wife out to eat all the time, she'd help me spot the good-value-for-money places for us to eat. At first, she'd try to talk me out of spending too much on her for that sort of thing, and the phone, which is expensive for local calls there. I'd tell her it was okay and eventually she accepted that. If she is concerned about you spending too much money like you would be, that's a good thing.
Well, with there being a "war on women", women aren't being treated equally and fairly.
That in mind, it seems to me that they ought to be able to either pay for 1/2 of each meal or for every other meal...
Setting the liberal politics of the "war on women" aside, every woman I've dated felt like she should share in the responsibility of paying instead of l̶e̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ - uh leaning - on me.
That in mind, it seems to me that they ought to be able to either pay for 1/2 of each meal or for every other meal...
Setting the liberal politics of the "war on women" aside, every woman I've dated felt like she should share in the responsibility of paying instead of l̶e̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ - uh leaning - on me.
I saw an academic presentation of some research that found evidence that, after controlling for a number of factors like hours worked per week, dangerous jobs, and dirty jobs, that women got paid more than men. Pay was not just a dollar-per-hour thing. In his data, if someone worked 44 hours per week or more, he or she got paid a lot more. By far, men worked longer hours and got more salary. Men tended to do more jobs where they were exposed to the elements and where the work was dangerous or unpleasant (construction, garbage collection) which paid a premium for these unfavorable factors. Women tend to gravitate toward some of the lower-paying jobs like teaching and social work. (I'd imagine nursing is an exception.)
There are also more women in college these days.
Pouring money into raising women's wages and getting more women in college may be putting the money in the wrong place.
A couple could do some inappropriate things through a Skype video chat, but it they aren't going to actually fornicate through a telephone conversation.
Back when Mark Driscoll was pastoring a megachurch in the Pacific Northwest, his advice was that men could treat women as sisters. Can you go out and get coffee with your sister? Yes? Then it's okay. Not his exact words, but it does kind of make sense. But it has it's limitations. If I were a teen and my parents left me in the house with my sister, that's no big deal. But I wouldn't want my daughters, when they are teenagers, in a house alone with some strange teenage boy they aren't married to.
Back when Mark Driscoll was pastoring a megachurch in the Pacific Northwest, his advice was that men could treat women as sisters. Can you go out and get coffee with your sister? Yes? Then it's okay. Not his exact words, but it does kind of make sense. But it has it's limitations. If I were a teen and my parents left me in the house with my sister, that's no big deal. But I wouldn't want my daughters, when they are teenagers, in a house alone with some strange teenage boy they aren't married to.