Dressing Modestly

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C

CW

Guest
#81
#81
Arlene89 said:
I used to be the girl who went to church, provocatively dressed and darting towards the single men with a spring in my step. At that point I had just come back to Christ, but still carried some old heart issues that caused me to continue being that way. I was well aware of the affect I had on men, I was well aware of what I was doing. At that season in my life my heart was still holding on to the ideas and thought processes of the world and I let lust rule my life. When I dressed myself with revealing tops and short skirts, I felt equipped and had some sense of power and control. The control made me feel comfortable, which made me feel beautiful.

Now, looking back, I am so glad that I did not enter into a relationship at that point. I had so much maturing to do, and my heart wasn't ready to be faithful to any man. It took a loving and godly friend to point out what I was doing and it hurt her to point this out. She worried that she hurt me and she fasted and prayed that I would see my true value. She wanted to see me free from the bondage I was in. I was so adamant that I was an object, I failed to even think I was a gift, a worthy mystery for someone to solve. My body was constantly revealed to all, but I never thought that it could be an undiscovered territory for someone to travel their fingertips along, or that my body was a map of scars and imperfections someone would one day come to know like the back of their hand. I never though that to understand and know me (in a physical sense) is an adventure. The feelings of unworthiness and 'cheapness' were evident in the way I dressed. This may not be the case for every woman, but it was very true to me.

I was a stumbling block to many men in my old church. Not all men will be affected by a women who dress in a matter that is revealing, but it is the case for most. Studies confirm that men are very visual and that certain images would run through their mind several times without them even knowing it. Why bother being a stumbling block? Why cause your brother or sister in Christ to fall? Because 'society says this...'? The old me was proud and would regurgitate feminist arguments until I was blue in the face, but now, the new me, wants to oppose the ideas the world has blinded me with for so long.

I think its about time we stood tall and created a counter-culture to the world. We are meant to stand out. We are meant to be set apart. We are meant to arouse the curiosity of non-believers and to set a standard. I've had enough of the ideas and perception that this world raises on some holy pedestal. Its about time we raised our eyes up to God and to return to His word, the bible has to say so much about how we dress and how we are to be conducted around and with fellow Christians. We need to stop blending bible and world views until it suits us. When you take in the Word and obey it, you will be surprised how much law and loving boundaries sets you free.

I now wear clothes that do not go above the knee. I wear singlets under tops that have low cuts. Finally, finally I feel beautiful because I am saving my physical body for my future husband. My body will be a gift for him to gaze upon and to enjoy. I am not worried whether I am a stumbling block to others, I don't constantly worry about what I am revealing therefore I am so completely comfortable.

Just to confirm, I don't judge women who wear dresses where the neckline meets the hem line of the dress. How can I judge when I did the exact same thing? But I so want people to break free from that because I remember what it was like to be that person. So CW, if I were you, I'd pray for that girl to have a revelation about her self worth and who she is in Christ. I would also like to encourage you to pray whether she is the right one for you. You can do what I did, which was be your own God and look for your future spouse or girlfriend through your own strength and based on you own ideals, or you can allow God to bring forth that someone that would support, compliment and lovingly be there for you in a way that glorifies God and honours you.

-Arlene
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Arlene, This is one of the greatest things i've ever hear!! My goodness this is exactly what i needed to hear. I like the point that you made about being my own god and taking on that job. Yes that is such a foolish path to take and I will definitely try my best to let god find the one for me, and bring us together in his time for HIS glory. Not for ours!!

I really appreciate you sharing this story with us, and im very glad you have a good friend to bring up this issues. This Sunday I heard a sermon saying that it is a blessing to have a christian friend who will call you out on things like this. It is a special love and concern for each other that drives this. I did used to have a few christian friends like this but unfortunatly things are no longer the same. Again God works in mysterious ways and his will be done so im not even worried about it!! I will do my peice to make things right and the rest is in his hands.

I will certainly pray for this girl, and every other young woman going through this struggle, because it is a struggle and there is a problem that is fueling this fire of dressing un modestly.

Thank you for everything and sharing some of the greatest insight i have heard! I couldn't believe that someone had a story that was so closely related to this situation!! The Lord is truly amazing and works wonders :).
 
Q

QuietCaptiveFreed

Guest
#82
#82
WEll, let me just share with you where my brain was at. I won't tell my age at the time but let me be honest, I was old enough to know what I was doing and WAY old enough to care. In my younger years I was 5 ft 9 inches and 130 pounds. Translation: I was tall and thin, very pretty and figured out I could get a lot of attention by how I dressed. I never showed cleavage or painted on jeans, but, I knew exactly how to, uh, accentuate that which made me look most appealing. And I was never doing it for me. Any woman who says that is a liar or just in complete denial. We are doing it to get affirmation from men. Girls acting like this at your age is pretty common. The thing to watch for is if she continues to act that way when she is in a committed relationship. If so, run for the hills. She (or he) will be trouble. Its clear she is needing a never-ending supply of male attention and affirmation and even though she may have a boyfriend, its like trying to fill a mug with water that's filled with holes. Nothing will ever be enough. I know a woman a few years older than me. She is very aware and openly critical of college age girls who come to church in their mini-mini skirts and spaghetti strap tops. She herself insists she won't even wear something sleeveless to church becaue its not modest. HOWEVER, this same person will flirt with anything that moves. She is obsessed about her appearance and needs to know that men find her attractive. She may not wear the costume, but she certainly knows the part. I'd suggest living by this simple rule, the more flirty and flashy a girl is, the more insecure she is. And that is a bigger problem than the modesty issue. So stick with scripture and let the Holy Spirit use those words to guide you in your every day life. He will do it. But you have to give him the time to show you.
 
WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

Banned
#83
Mar 1, 2013
176
1
0
#83
Nautilus said:
yeah upper shoulders and lower legs are still fairly modest. And for men its like a day at the beach prety much. not seeing this egyptian thing's point
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The Hebrews being the nation of people on which the Bible is based, I thought it would be very obvious that if we learnt anything of what modesty is in regards to dressing, that it would be from them, and seeing as the Egyptians are one of the only nations to have depicted them................ I will leave the rest to you to think about.
 
A

Arlene89

Guest
#84
#84
Glad I can help, CW!
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#85
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#85
WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest said:
The Hebrews being the nation of people on which the Bible is based, I thought it would be very obvious that if we learnt anything of what modesty is in regards to dressing, that it would be from them, and seeing as the Egyptians are one of the only nations to have depicted them................ I will leave the rest to you to think about.
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I guess? But then I'm not Hebrew, nor am I trying to be.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#86
#86
Pipp said:
I guess I'd rather look like the classy lady than a sexy or hot chick.. lol... Just me though
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What about classy hot? hahaha... ignore me. I've been rather rambunctious lately, as people have pointed out to me. haha
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#87
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,703
113
Georgia
#87
Yeah.... I'd go for being that except for the fact that I don't fit "hot" description... lol ladies like me tent to get pinned with words like "fluffy" "big girl" which I have no problem with seeing as I am... lol. Plus I have "a great personality" and am everyone's sister or honestly more just the girl next door. :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#88
#88
Pinned with? As in bowling pins? Or safety pins? Pins and needles? Penn and Teller? oh wait...
 
C

CW

Guest
#90
#90
QuietCaptiveFreed said:
WEll, let me just share with you where my brain was at. I won't tell my age at the time but let me be honest, I was old enough to know what I was doing and WAY old enough to care. In my younger years I was 5 ft 9 inches and 130 pounds. Translation: I was tall and thin, very pretty and figured out I could get a lot of attention by how I dressed. I never showed cleavage or painted on jeans, but, I knew exactly how to, uh, accentuate that which made me look most appealing. And I was never doing it for me. Any woman who says that is a liar or just in complete denial. We are doing it to get affirmation from men. Girls acting like this at your age is pretty common. The thing to watch for is if she continues to act that way when she is in a committed relationship. If so, run for the hills. She (or he) will be trouble. Its clear she is needing a never-ending supply of male attention and affirmation and even though she may have a boyfriend, its like trying to fill a mug with water that's filled with holes. Nothing will ever be enough. I know a woman a few years older than me. She is very aware and openly critical of college age girls who come to church in their mini-mini skirts and spaghetti strap tops. She herself insists she won't even wear something sleeveless to church becaue its not modest. HOWEVER, this same person will flirt with anything that moves. She is obsessed about her appearance and needs to know that men find her attractive. She may not wear the costume, but she certainly knows the part. I'd suggest living by this simple rule, the more flirty and flashy a girl is, the more insecure she is. And that is a bigger problem than the modesty issue. So stick with scripture and let the Holy Spirit use those words to guide you in your every day life. He will do it. But you have to give him the time to show you.
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QuietCaptiveFreed :

Very great response!! And Honestly... everything youve said about flirting with everything that moves, being insecure, ALWAYS
 
C

CW

Guest
#91
#91


QuietCaptiveFreed :

OOPS, i hit the submit button too early, heres the rest of my message

Very great response!! And Honestly... everything youve said has hit the nail right on the head!! Its pretty crazy how accurate your references are haha. About flirting with everything that moves, being insecure, ALWAYS needing some male attention ( i see her do this around people i know she would never give a chance to, she just needs the attention)

Everytime i see her or am around her i seem to see one more thing that makes my stomach sink a little which is what happens when my mind is telling me: you know thats not right and you know thats not what your looking for in a partner.

So right from the bat im seeing things i dont like every time, and of course im not trying to be over analytical but as time goes on... the less i like her lolll. Everyone has had such supportive and wise answers that relate to this situation so well. And QuietCaptiveFreed thanks for being so honest and telling me things like it is!! Your not holding back any information and it is really great to hear this kind of information from a female who knows how women work ! You will be helping many Christians who read this thread from both genders!! Ladies will see how dressing modestly is important and men will be more familiar with warning signs! :D
 
K

KeeganGentle

Guest
#94
#94
We need a pokemon thread:D And don;t tell me you don't even know pikachu
 
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