Finding a Christian spouse
- Thread starter Makamore
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I knew a missionary couple. The wife was very vocal and was very comfortable walking up to random people and talking about Jesus. The husband on the other hand, was a Godly man but was very quiet. He mostly listened and stood next to his wife. They probably had the same level of faith, but I felt they were slightly mismatched in their expressiveness. I don't know for sure, but wouldn't be surprised if she led most of Bible study. You have to see for yourself, but some guys may be less expressive about their faith but still have deep faith.
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Sounds like my best friend and his wife. He's like that, and she's like that.
Like Gojira said, they work well as a pair. Each is good at things the other stinks at.
The trick seems to be being aware and able to admit the other person is better than you at something, and being willing to step up and do the things you are better at. But that's just what I've observed - I've never been there myself - so I could of course be wrong.
Like Gojira said, they work well as a pair. Each is good at things the other stinks at.
The trick seems to be being aware and able to admit the other person is better than you at something, and being willing to step up and do the things you are better at. But that's just what I've observed - I've never been there myself - so I could of course be wrong.
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The number of threads I've seen on this site on "where are all the Christian men/women" is actually crazy.
It seems to me there are lots of Christians that feel no one they meet with romantic hopes is ever spiritual enough.
It's kind of ironic, actually. Makes me wonder are all these spiritual people just not crossing paths, and if not, why not? Or is it more about how people are perceiving others?
A notion that dawned on many here (at least years ago, not sure if it's as common now) is spend less time on your "I want" list and more time on your "what do I have to offer" list.
Often times what we Believe we want is not what's really best for us. There may be traits less important than we believe, or even traits we never knew we would enjoy we never think to want.
Know your core and most important needs and forget the rest.
It seems to me there are lots of Christians that feel no one they meet with romantic hopes is ever spiritual enough.
It's kind of ironic, actually. Makes me wonder are all these spiritual people just not crossing paths, and if not, why not? Or is it more about how people are perceiving others?
A notion that dawned on many here (at least years ago, not sure if it's as common now) is spend less time on your "I want" list and more time on your "what do I have to offer" list.
Often times what we Believe we want is not what's really best for us. There may be traits less important than we believe, or even traits we never knew we would enjoy we never think to want.
Know your core and most important needs and forget the rest.
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28 Male here and I feel you. As the youngest of 4 brothers who are all now married, I feel pressure to find to find that "right christian woman". You've got to remember though as well, that this is quite possibly the hardest generation to find a good spouse, especially a christian spouse. The wants and needs of many have fallen away from God. Social media and all their backwards ideologies have run rampant. I struggle in the UK to even know where to look tbh. But all I can say is focus on the things of God and continual prayer which I'm sure you are doing!
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I prayed and prayed about this for weeks because I also come from the background of believing that women cannot be pastor's. Now, I truly believe that God led me to the church that I currently go to. When I was praying and fasting for an answer about whether I should continue going to this church which is lead by a woman, God led me to really study about Deborah in the bible and after my study, I learned that Deborah was not just a judge but she was a spiritual leader of Israel and would often preside over spiritual matters. She was also God's mouthpiece as a prophet. As I was studying, God spoke to me in my spirit and said "imagine if everyone opposed that Deborah become a judge because it doesn't fit with creation order." God can use anyone at any point in time to lead a people. The guidelines Paul gave about pastors are just that, guidelines and if God raises a woman to lead His people, then who am I to oppose that? The lead pastor of my church is spiritually sound and preaches about sin and judgement. I have found no error in her preaching and the church as a whole has edified me greatly while I've been in Korea. I understand that people have their convictions and believe that a woman should not lead a church but as for me, this is where God has led me and it's where I'm staying while I live here ☺️
Side note - Paul also states that men shouldn't cover their head and women must cover their heads while praying or prophesying in church but we all seem to just pick and choose what we want to enforce 🤷🏾♀️ so it's important to be led by the Spirit for interpretation of the word of God.
Side note - Paul also states that men shouldn't cover their head and women must cover their heads while praying or prophesying in church but we all seem to just pick and choose what we want to enforce 🤷🏾♀️ so it's important to be led by the Spirit for interpretation of the word of God.
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That is such a good point Samuel. Honestly evil is increasing and it seems like the devil is doing all he can to make sure that Christians don't get married because he knows that there's so much power in unity and the family unit as God designed it. So true! Every time I go on social media, I'm just disgusted with all the nakedness, pride, and lack of morals. UK and Ireland are pretty similar culture-wise so I definitely get where you're coming from. Yes, that's my plan tbh, I am not looking for anyone anymore. Just focusing on my work in His kingdom, spending time with Him and truthfully, that's all I need ☺️
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My view on this topic is that it is already hard to find a compatible person, where mutual attraction exists, etc. and now we are also adding another criteria by seeking someone who is Christian (and there are various types/denominations with different views).
For me, while I think about or turn to God every day (for example, if I am going through something, or if someone is sick I ask God to make them well in a few sentences), I don't have a set prayer or devotional life where I spend 30 minutes in the morning or evening praying or reading the Bible everyday. So, personally I wouldn't want someone who never prays or doesn't want to talk about God, but at the same time if someone is spending a lot of time in prayer their lifestyle may also be different from mine and might not be too compatible. For example, would this person mind if I like to read fiction or will he think it is a waste of time, doesn't like going to the movies, etc. I am actually friends with people who are conservative this way, but being friends is one thing and being married to someone is different. So, in the Christian pool you have some who are not living Godly lives at all...all the way to those who are very conservative. Finding someone compatible within the Christian pool is important.
For me, while I think about or turn to God every day (for example, if I am going through something, or if someone is sick I ask God to make them well in a few sentences), I don't have a set prayer or devotional life where I spend 30 minutes in the morning or evening praying or reading the Bible everyday. So, personally I wouldn't want someone who never prays or doesn't want to talk about God, but at the same time if someone is spending a lot of time in prayer their lifestyle may also be different from mine and might not be too compatible. For example, would this person mind if I like to read fiction or will he think it is a waste of time, doesn't like going to the movies, etc. I am actually friends with people who are conservative this way, but being friends is one thing and being married to someone is different. So, in the Christian pool you have some who are not living Godly lives at all...all the way to those who are very conservative. Finding someone compatible within the Christian pool is important.
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