Hard to admit loneliness?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#21
loneliness is a part of belonging to the Body of Christ, for He always separates us from 'the world'!!!
if we Love Him enough, we will accept our division from the rest of the world'... =
God is a Family, 'God The Father-Jesus The Son, and New Jerusalem IS the true Mother of us ALL...
therefore, when ever possible, let us befriend every 'believer in Christ' - and, if there are NONE
to BE-FRIEND at hand for now, let us take refuge in the bosom of The Father and His Son, Jesus Christ...
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
6,895
3,634
113
#23
I actually love being alone. But still once in a while wonder what the opposite would be like hahaha
It can be just as lonely being married as being single......it can be just as lonely being alone as being in a crowded room of people.....

When I am by myself and I feel lonely, at least there's a REASON for me to feel lonely but, when I am married and feel lonely or in a crowded room and feel lonely.........well, let's just say I'm not making the connection....or my efforts to connect are being rejected....

Eventually, we all have to learn to make the divine connection with God, our Maker.......then, our connection with others is more healthy and fulfilling for us and them.

This is one of my favorite go to Bible Chapters to read when I am lonely......:love:

Isaiah 54 New International Version (NIV)
The Future Glory of Zion
54 “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.
4 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord your Redeemer.
9 “To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11 “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,[a]
your foundations with lapis lazuli.
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
and great will be their peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16 “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#24
It's funny, but I sometimes think introverts create or at least have a hand in creating their own lonesome space. For instance the majority of my work is in random places and I am almost always alone, I live alone, in a remote rural place, I'm a confirmed, degreed introvert, and I feel like I've been training for this covid thing my whole life. Now I don't think I consciously created this lonely phenomona environment, but it's kind of not a coincidence either.

I don't think I had a traumatic experience like the OP, but I think there's sometimes excuses I make for myself. I'm not including the OP here, but for various reasons in my case an unusually large number of friends/ex's/ or family have died. I didn't cause any of these deaths, but I have tendancy to think I have the touch of the Grim Reaper. I know that's a crazy thought, but I'm not sure I don't use that thought to distance myself even further from relationships.

Bottom line is, I think we often create our own monsters and then create our own environment to house those critters. I'm not saying it's an unhealthy way to go about life, but I do think it's probably something of a small boat with holes in a large ocean and one in which I'm not sure our God of Israel would approve. I don't know that I'm helping anyone. I don't know that my actions as a Christian are rubbing off on anybody and I don't think I"m a mentor to a younger person that aspires a Christian way of life. In other words, I don't think I serve as an example of God's love that He's done for me. Because I hide.

That's sad. But it also inspires me to reach out. And I try. But to the OP, I know where you're coming from - not for the same reasons - but with the same ethos.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,550
5,481
113
#25
It's funny, but I sometimes think introverts create or at least have a hand in creating their own lonesome space. For instance the majority of my work is in random places and I am almost always alone, I live alone, in a remote rural place, I'm a confirmed, degreed introvert, and I feel like I've been training for this covid thing my whole life. Now I don't think I consciously created this lonely phenomona environment, but it's kind of not a coincidence either.

I don't think I had a traumatic experience like the OP, but I think there's sometimes excuses I make for myself. I'm not including the OP here, but for various reasons in my case an unusually large number of friends/ex's/ or family have died. I didn't cause any of these deaths, but I have tendancy to think I have the touch of the Grim Reaper. I know that's a crazy thought, but I'm not sure I don't use that thought to distance myself even further from relationships.

Bottom line is, I think we often create our own monsters and then create our own environment to house those critters. I'm not saying it's an unhealthy way to go about life, but I do think it's probably something of a small boat with holes in a large ocean and one in which I'm not sure our God of Israel would approve. I don't know that I'm helping anyone. I don't know that my actions as a Christian are rubbing off on anybody and I don't think I"m a mentor to a younger person that aspires a Christian way of life. In other words, I don't think I serve as an example of God's love that He's done for me. Because I hide.

That's sad. But it also inspires me to reach out. And I try. But to the OP, I know where you're coming from - not for the same reasons - but with the same ethos.
Isolation is often an impenetrable fortress that is really there to hide a broken heart.

No one gets in - but the person inside also never gets out - and so the shield that we believe is protecting our hearts simultaneously becomes a prison of our own design.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
6,895
3,634
113
#26
It's funny, but I sometimes think introverts create or at least have a hand in creating their own lonesome space. For instance the majority of my work is in random places and I am almost always alone, I live alone, in a remote rural place, I'm a confirmed, degreed introvert, and I feel like I've been training for this covid thing my whole life. Now I don't think I consciously created this lonely phenomona environment, but it's kind of not a coincidence either.

I don't think I had a traumatic experience like the OP, but I think there's sometimes excuses I make for myself. I'm not including the OP here, but for various reasons in my case an unusually large number of friends/ex's/ or family have died. I didn't cause any of these deaths, but I have tendancy to think I have the touch of the Grim Reaper. I know that's a crazy thought, but I'm not sure I don't use that thought to distance myself even further from relationships.

Bottom line is, I think we often create our own monsters and then create our own environment to house those critters. I'm not saying it's an unhealthy way to go about life, but I do think it's probably something of a small boat with holes in a large ocean and one in which I'm not sure our God of Israel would approve. I don't know that I'm helping anyone. I don't know that my actions as a Christian are rubbing off on anybody and I don't think I"m a mentor to a younger person that aspires a Christian way of life. In other words, I don't think I serve as an example of God's love that He's done for me. Because I hide.

That's sad. But it also inspires me to reach out. And I try. But to the OP, I know where you're coming from - not for the same reasons - but with the same ethos.

Well said!


You are a great writer- you communicate very well with your writing! It’s not boring- it holds the reader’s attention and is easily understood. Excellent! :love:(y)
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#28
Well said!

You are a great writer- you communicate very well with your writing! It’s not boring- it holds the reader’s attention and is easily understood. Excellent! :love:(y)
Thank you, but I think Seoulsearch said it all in two sentences! It's Hotel California, no? We can check out anytime we want, but we can never leave.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
6,895
3,634
113
#29
Thank you, but I think Seoulsearch said it all in two sentences! It's Hotel California, no? We can check out anytime we want, but we can never leave.
There are seasons when we stay inside and there are seasons when we venture outside......

The same is true with life, just don’t stay inside when the weather is great outside - you’ll miss all the joy of living. :love:(y)
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
113
#31
I think it's a humbling thing to admit, as a "single" Christian woman who is never dating again, and only wants friendship, and as a woman who fancies herself very independent, and as a massive introvert on top of all of that....but heck, sometimes I feel lonely. Never alone, because Jesus is always with me. But sometimes, as much as I may want to deny it, just feel lonely. That is my truth today. Can anyone out there relate? (Or am I just a weirdo? :D Hahaha.)
Yes I can relate to feeling like a weirdo. Usually I try comforting myself with the fact that I'm God's weirdo and well i didn't really want to be like all those so called normal people anyway.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#32
I hear you. I miss having someone who knows what makes me laugh, who understands what things mean when I say them. I miss being able to care about what happens in their day and being the one who can make them laugh, and being their safe harbour in the storm. Yes Jesus is with us, but I miss having a hand to hold and there is no need to apologize for that. It isn't a lack of faith. It is honesty.
 
B

Beloved132

Guest
#33
It can be just as lonely being married as being single......it can be just as lonely being alone as being in a crowded room of people.....

When I am by myself and I feel lonely, at least there's a REASON for me to feel lonely but, when I am married and feel lonely or in a crowded room and feel lonely.........well, let's just say I'm not making the connection....or my efforts to connect are being rejected....

Eventually, we all have to learn to make the divine connection with God, our Maker.......then, our connection with others is more healthy and fulfilling for us and them.

This is one of my favorite go to Bible Chapters to read when I am lonely......:love:

Isaiah 54 New International Version (NIV)
The Future Glory of Zion
54 “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.
4 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The Lord will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord your Redeemer.
9 “To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11 “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,[a]
your foundations with lapis lazuli.
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
and great will be their peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16 “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.
Yes, agreed. I was married once....and much lonelier than I am now.....so I get that. Thanks for the verse. :)
 
B

Beloved132

Guest
#34
Isolation is often an impenetrable fortress that is really there to hide a broken heart.

No one gets in - but the person inside also never gets out - and so the shield that we believe is protecting our hearts simultaneously becomes a prison of our own design.
This is so beautiful and so true.
 
B

Beloved132

Guest
#35
Yes I can relate to feeling like a weirdo. Usually I try comforting myself with the fact that I'm God's weirdo and well i didn't really want to be like all those so called normal people anyway.
Hahaha, love that.
 
B

Beloved132

Guest
#36
I hear you. I miss having someone who knows what makes me laugh, who understands what things mean when I say them. I miss being able to care about what happens in their day and being the one who can make them laugh, and being their safe harbour in the storm. Yes Jesus is with us, but I miss having a hand to hold and there is no need to apologize for that. It isn't a lack of faith. It is honesty.
Thank you for understanding. :)
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
6,895
3,634
113
#37
I hear you. I miss having someone who knows what makes me laugh, who understands what things mean when I say them. I miss being able to care about what happens in their day and being the one who can make them laugh, and being their safe harbour in the storm. Yes Jesus is with us, but I miss having a hand to hold and there is no need to apologize for that. It isn't a lack of faith. It is honesty.
You are blessed.....we either cry when they are with us because they break our hearts or cry when they are not with us any longer because they have divorced us or are no longer on the Earth with us ......either way, we cry.......:cry::love:(y)
 
B

Beloved132

Guest
#38
I just hate that I see men...in such a negative light. I love them as my brothers in Christ...but after the way my heart was broken, after the destruction of my life that has taken years to rebuild, my heart has such a hard time believing that some men actually treat women well. This is not a man hating post haha. This is just me being honest. I pray often that God would send a man into my life, even just as a friend, who could show me that one can be trusted. One to show me that I don't need to fear and avoid men. Well...he did give me my dog. And he's the greatest guy on the planet...but it's not quite the same. :D
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
381
374
63
#39
Same here, I think we all experience the same when we don't connect with someone aka relationships with others, like what roughsoul said. But of course we introverts also prefer our own spaces, I could live without talking, sometimes I count the words I say in a day- not very much, it is challenging to be alone and I guess it is also a choice for some, I like the peace and quiet and yes there were days it gets lonely too. I can relate too, you're not alone in this.
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
381
374
63
#40
and I feel like I've been training for this covid thing my whole life. Now I don't think I consciously created this lonely phenomona environment, but it's kind of not a coincidence either.
lol... All along I was thinking the same thing, this covid quarantin was a normal thing to me and I don't think some people understand.