Have you conquered anger? Or tried to beat it into submission?

[Fenner]

I get angry sometimes, I get annoyed more than I should, but mostly at certain times that men wouldn't understand. Physically you can't understand, be happy about that men. Today was one of those lovely day's. The stupid crappy to small sink at work clogged up and the only thing available to fix it was white vinegar and baking soda and that didn't work.

I knew what kind of a mood I was in this morning so I decided just to stay quiet and to myself, I did pretty good with that. I didn't say what I wanted to say to my Husband who for some reason has to run around at the last minute every morning when he only has to get himself ready. I get three people out the door every morning. But I shut my mouth and did what I had to do.

I know when I need to hunker down and be alone or just avoid confrontation because when I feel all tense like this, Advil doesn't cut it. I think what might help is a Valium, but I have to function. It lasts about 8 days and then I don't feel like squishing things anymore.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

I wish I could cast Force Lightning at people. Casting Avada Kedavra would be pretty rad too. Something useful with the anger other than grinding teeth and growing an ulcer larger.

 

[Lenardzw]

I can get angry real quick, which surprises people who know me because I rarely express it. So when I'm really peeved and I express it, people tend to listen. I've learnt to focus my anger on the issue, which isn't always easy. I mean there has never been any point to: "You really made me mad when you did such and such...." and then end it all with "Your mamma...."
One thing I thank God for is that I can never stay angry for long and believe me I've tried. I tend to express my anger and then after a while (depending on the issue I'm angry about) its over.

 

[Oncefallen]

Thank you. I needed that belly laugh on this Tuesday morning.... the noise of the garbage truck woke me up.

If a garbage truck woke me up I'd be.........................late for work.

Is frustration and anger one in the same?

Nope.

Typically anger is a secondary emotion, it is a response to a primary emotion. Frustration is typically considered to be a primary emotion. Anger would be a possible response (secondary emotion) to frustration (primary emotion).

 

[Lynx]

Definitions have been coming up a lot in this thread. Reminds me of a kid who asked his father to help him with his homework. "What is the difference between irritation, aggravation and frustration?"

The father immediately picked up his phone, dialed a random number and said, "Hey is Bob there? Oh, sorry. Thanks anyway." and hung up. He said to his son, "That was irritation."

He waited half a minute and hit redial. "Hey is Bob there? Oh, sorry about that. Bye." He said to his son, "That was aggravation. Now the next one will be frustration."

After a minute he hit redial again. "Hey this is Bob. Any calls for me?"

 

[laura_charlotte]

Thank you, Laura. I have great respect for you and your words are encouraging.

Thanks! Comes from the Lord.

 

[mar09]

Agreed. I had the same thought about defining what anger actually is. I rarely ever have any sort of outburst, and even then it's only ever been with immediate family (ex-husband). I do sometimes "rant" which is a display of anger, but it's more like passionate griping, and rarely in direct conflict with someone. I get irritated regularly, usually while driving. I don't think that's really the same thing as "anger" though.

Love the honesty coming out in this thread!

When talking abt anger, what often comes to mind is the words Be angry, but dont let ur anger lead u to sin... I cannot say i do openly show anger, but must admit i have some inside. Or as some of the others here use other words, u know there is frustration or annoyance inside.

For example, and i dont say this because i have so much extra to lend or give away! but some mos. ago, someone borrowed cash, and i happen to have some untouched savings too. so i was more generous and after a thought lent part of what she asked for. After she missed her promise to pay after such and such a time, i am really getting annoyed that i dont see her meaning to repay, for how many times she' s said On Tues., or Fri, etc, i will collect some. Then her grandson has an accident, she gets sick (we do now too, and in fact i have a doc's follow up)... etc. Since i realized she didnt seem to have intent to pay back, i am still inquiring of her sometimes for it wasnt a ver little amount i lent, and do need to get it back. Now i am finding ways to replace what i lent for my children do need that too! I also contact her for she's a sibling's friend and i do have some health suggests for her, wc i know she welcomes and she says so, but there still is the ugly feeling when u know u want to help but not this way, Lord. I try to raise the amount, but the expenses come again, so...

Another situation, and this doesnt happen often bec. honest i didnt really have that much to lend people.. someone was remitting me some cash, gave this to a third person (relative) to hand to me. This person thot i didnt need that right away anyway, and borrowed th cash to purchase something that is to be delivered in 2 wks yet i think but he wanted to order already. When i came to get it, said he is returning the following week, such day. The day comes, the bank has some online problem, and i say u know, ive been to the centro thrice since i expected to get hold of that, juggling trips and wc items to get first because what i had wasnt quite enough. [wish i could say in Taglish for i am struggling w/ words]. Anyway, finally said i could collect, but still annoys why he wouldnt even find a way to deposit in my acct, or bring personally so less the need to pick that up.

 

[BruceWayne]

No.

 

[HoneyDew]

When talking abt anger, what often comes to mind is the words Be angry, but dont let ur anger lead u to sin... I cannot say i do openly show anger, but must admit i have some inside. Or as some of the others here use other words, u know there is frustration or annoyance inside.

For example, and i dont say this because i have so much extra to lend or give away! but some mos. ago, someone borrowed cash, and i happen to have some untouched savings too. so i was more generous and after a thought lent part of what she asked for. After she missed her promise to pay after such and such a time, i am really getting annoyed that i dont see her meaning to repay, for how many times she' s said On Tues., or Fri, etc, i will collect some. Then her grandson has an accident, she gets sick (we do now too, and in fact i have a doc's follow up)... etc. Since i realized she didnt seem to have intent to pay back, i am still inquiring of her sometimes for it wasnt a ver little amount i lent, and do need to get it back. Now i am finding ways to replace what i lent for my children do need that too! I also contact her for she's a sibling's friend and i do have some health suggests for her, wc i know she welcomes and she says so, but there still is the ugly feeling when u know u want to help but not this way, Lord. I try to raise the amount, but the expenses come again, so...

Another situation, and this doesnt happen often bec. honest i didnt really have that much to lend people.. someone was remitting me some cash, gave this to a third person (relative) to hand to me. This person thot i didnt need that right away anyway, and borrowed th cash to purchase something that is to be delivered in 2 wks yet i think but he wanted to order already. When i came to get it, said he is returning the following week, such day. The day comes, the bank has some online problem, and i say u know, ive been to the centro thrice since i expected to get hold of that, juggling trips and wc items to get first because what i had wasnt quite enough. [wish i could say in Taglish for i am struggling w/ words]. Anyway, finally said i could collect, but still annoys why he wouldnt even find a way to deposit in my acct, or bring personally so less the need to pick that up.

This happened to me once. I let a friend borrow some money who had fallen on hard times and who was to return it when their income tax money came in. Well that month came and went and so did a few more months. I then discovered that this friend had purchased a dog for $1500 but made every excuse over this period of time on why they hadn't paid me. I was ANGRY and hurt that someone I called a friend would take advantage of my kindness.

I called and told them that I don't care what they had to pay or purchase the next pay period I want my money. It was given to me. I forgave and we are still friends but I never let them borrow money again.

 

[Dino246]

I had a problem with anger. In the course of counseling after my marriage ended, I learned that residual anger often boils over a seemingly insignificant event. My counselor gave me a strategy to deal with the anger, saying that he has consistently seen about 80% of the anger disappear in a few weeks.

I followed his advice, and spent time asking God to show me what I was angry about. There were many small things which happened when I was a kid, and a few more recent things. I dealt with each wound by forgiving and repenting. The counselor was right; most of the anger is gone. However, I am a work in progress... Philippians 1:6.

So, in direct response to the first part of the thread title: No, but Jesus did.

 

[renewed_hope]

I debated answering this, but in all honesty I am not an angry person. Yes people make me upset and frustrated, but I was reminded a couple months ago that we can't control someone else and what they may do, but we can control how we react to it. I work in an office with about ten women who are very moody, hateful and downright vengeful. I realized being around that caused me to sink deeper in a hole that I didn't want to be in. I chose to speak kindness to them even though they were ridiculing me for who lived inside of me. It is a working progress, but I know God gave me my position for a reason and have started to notice minor changes in how people respond to each other and how much better I feel when I get home

 

[Sirk]

Anger is a result of unprocessed pain. If anger is on a scale of 1 thru 8 and 5 or 6 being the point at which a person tips over into fight or flight mode.... so.....people who have a lot of unprocessed crap cluttering up their emotional state are walking around at a 3 or 4 and it's a very short trip to a 5 or 6.

 

[popeye]

Has anyone here conquered anger, or at least found a way to lessen it when it rears its ugly head??

If you have any tips or stories about dealing with anger, please share them here..

and don't forget to vote..

John Bevere has a book called "The bait of Satan"

It deals with offence.


That book will take you a million miles

Another dimension to extinguish that negative emotion,is to think back everytime you got mad,and realize,You made a decision to get mad.

What happens is we think we have a RIGHT to get mad. We are fools. We have no right.

Bottom line is,anger is poison. It is stress,and stress will eventually get you physically.

 

[NewlydivorcedChristianmom]

Anger is what led my husband to hand me divorce papers a couple weeks ago.
So my Pastor has told me anyways.
I am coming out of a mentally abusive relationship and I'm alone and afraid.
Our boys are 15,17&19.
I know I need counciling but unfortunately don't have the money.
My husband and boys don't know The Lord and have chose to stay away from Church.
i do blame my anger and lack of supporting my husband for where I am today.
When you are backed in a corner or verbally attacked, how do you handle
your frustration and anger?

 

[Sirk]

Anger is what led my husband to hand me divorce papers a couple weeks ago.
So my Pastor has told me anyways.
I am coming out of a mentally abusive relationship and I'm alone and afraid.
Our boys are 15,17&19.
I know I need counciling but unfortunately don't have the money.
My husband and boys don't know The Lord and have chose to stay away from Church.
i do blame my anger and lack of supporting my husband for where I am today.
When you are backed in a corner or verbally attacked, how do you handle
your frustration and anger?

How DID you handle it?

 

[Demi777]

hmm Sometimes I get angry a few times a day and sometimes I just get frustrated a bit..or a bit more. Im not a angry person.. I usually laugh all the time. Did I conquer anger...no.. I used to have some issues but Jesus helps me. No one can live without getting angry every once and a while.

 

[AuntieAnt]

Anger is what led my husband to hand me divorce papers a couple weeks ago.
So my Pastor has told me anyways.
I am coming out of a mentally abusive relationship and I'm alone and afraid.
Our boys are 15,17&19.
I know I need counciling but unfortunately don't have the money.
My husband and boys don't know The Lord and have chose to stay away from Church.
i do blame my anger and lack of supporting my husband for where I am today.
When you are backed in a corner or verbally attacked, how do you handle
your frustration and anger?

I'm really sorry you're going through this heartbreaking trial, NewlydivorcedChristianmom. I'll be praying for you & your three children, that the Lord would strengthen and guide you all in love.

There are wonderful people on this site who can fellowship with you and pray for you. But you're not going to find the counseling you need on this site, you're just going to get a host of opinions.

BUT: There is free counseling offered for people coming out of domestic abuse. Try one of these links below. They can guide you to a place in your area where you can receive professional counseling and help you find resources to re-establish your life.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

Home

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

 

[NewlydivorcedChristianmom]

How DID you handle it?

I have asked God to take my anger and bitterness and turn it into love and peace.
I have also taken baby steps by paying attention to myself before an explosion occurs. I have had to walk away and finished the discussion after I cooled down. I've also asked God help me pay attention to the signs(such as holding my breath, stiffing up or even feeling my face get hot but the biggest one is not raising my voice). It's a process but now I can make some rules in this house and the biggest one is this is a no yelling zone.
As far as the divorce goes, it is very difficult to not keep blaming myself for this.

 

[James042191]

I feel the same way and a lot of the times I think it's a result of suppressing anxieties which turns out to be very draining. Sometimes I just want to be alone but being alone all the time is not that great either. It's so hard to be in tune with the small still voice when I feel so stressed out. However I hold on to certain scriptures that can bring me peace. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me because the word of God tells me and I have to trust in that in order to be an overcomer.

 

[Sirk]

I have asked God to take my anger and bitterness and turn it into love and peace.
I have also taken baby steps by paying attention to myself before an explosion occurs. I have had to walk away and finished the discussion after I cooled down. I've also asked God help me pay attention to the signs(such as holding my breath, stiffing up or even feeling my face get hot but the biggest one is not raising my voice). It's a process but now I can make some rules in this house and the biggest one is this is a no yelling zone.
As far as the divorce goes, it is very difficult to not keep blaming myself for this.

That's good stuff. What I was wondering tho was how you handled it before. How did you handle your husbands anger before you started doing it differently?