Here It Is! The Big, Honkin' List of Everything You are Looking for in a Spouse. :)

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Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,428
1,288
113
#21
Hey Everyone,

Since this is a Singles Forum, we usually have threads asking what people are looking for in a partner fairly often. However, it seems like we haven't had one of those in a while, so... Why. not. go. for. it!

Here it is, the giant, Goliath thread in which singles can list everything they are hoping for in their "perfect match", and why they are looking for those qualities. Our married friends are also welcome to tell us about what they were looking for and eventually found when they married their spouses (maybe there were a few surprises along the way?)

So go ahead and go crazy--tell us everything that's on your list-- and then once this thread has run its course, brace yourself for the sequel! :)

And so, without further ado...

What's on your "shopping list" of everything you hope to find in a future mate?
Seoulsearch, I'm happy to see you back at it - energizing this forum on some of the most stimulating inquiries...

Have to agree with some of your and other folks comments regarding how our lists have changed over the years...

When I was younger I assumed that I knew my own worth and found that I was trying too hard to search for that perfect 'dream girl.' In hind sight I guess that there is something to be said for the old saying: "if something looks too good to be true, it probably is..."
While I tend to credit myself for being the glue (never quit - peacemaker) that helped the marriage to last as long as it did... In hind sight it was very apparent that the one thing that I quietly craved and was never the recipient of was genuine compassion, mutual respect and equitable consideration.

Upon processing the cycles of grief - I suspect I was in the depressed phase - I had come to believe that maybe what I was looking for was a Proverbs 31 Woman...

But upon further reflection it was evident that it was not my place to seek out such a woman (Proverbs 31) - because it is not the intention for men to seek nor demand such a woman. Rather just like everything else, it is in the Lord's hands to bless us with our partners in our lives. The men who are worthy of a proverbs 31 woman are truly blessed by HIS hand...

So with all that being said... I am convinced that it is in the Lord's hands as to who my future life-partner may or may not be.
As such, I am striving to recondition my brain away from it's inherent desires to seek companionship (thus no preconceived list to look for in the conventional sense); rather to condition myself to be the best version of myself in HIS eyes - such that one day HE might deem me worthy to bless me by introducing a woman (or not) into my life's journey who:
- is a genuine Christian believer...
- Will recognize my qualities as being the very things that she is looking for in a life partner.
- Has the capacity to be able to: love unconditionally; the compassion to demonstrate her love and commitment thru her actions, choices, decisions and behaviors; make an eternal commitment
- Has a Soul that exudes such an inner beauty, calmness and strength that when our hearts finally connect - a majestic imprinting and bonding will manifest in such a way with a common understanding and silent acknowledgement that we will both have each others back from that day forward for the rest of our lives and into the next.
- Is willing to show me that I am the special someone that they deem is worthy of their interest, their desires and worth fighting for...
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
1,923
832
113
#22
My wife yielded everything to the Lord. So did I. We are for all intents and purposes perfectly compatible. Moreso than even I would have thought.
 
W

Wild

Guest
#23
Someone to cook with and travel with. Also must love dogs. Expert sandwich maker is a nice bonus
 
M

Miri

Guest
#24
Someone to cook with and travel with. Also must love dogs. Expert sandwich maker is a nice bonus
I have to ask, what qualifications does someone need to be an expert
sandwich maker?
 

BruceWayne

Senior Member
Aug 7, 2013
3,655
307
83
Gotham City
#25
• Sense of humor is essential. Preferably the same sense of humor. Embrace the dark side.
• Prettiful. If I'm not attracted to her, it's just not going to work.
• Successful or at least having a plan to be. I don't mind helping her get there.
• Can watch basketball or football, or at least understand I'm not missing a Vikings or Lakers game. :ROFL:
• Someone that takes care of themselves in every aspect(physically, mentally, etc.).

There are many things on my wish list, some important & some not, but the best things are sometimes things we didn't even know we wanted, which reminds me of a little story:

She guessed my favorite color on the first try. But between you and me, I didn't even have a favorite color until she yelled out, "Yellow!" She was so excited and smiling like a little kid, so I told her she was right and I haven't seen yellow the same way since. It's in everything; I could probably live in it now.


More than anything, what I want most is a unique connection.
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
242
149
43
#26
One who has flaws and weaknesses just like me but, for some amazing reason, I do not look down at any previous believed flaw.

The reason is so I can learn to love unconditionally.

If there is anything that I will not accept, I flirt with inflating myself worth.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,514
8,015
113
65
Florida
#27
I don't know about most of that other stuff, but I'll fight you for the last pickled onion. Yum!

Ever try bread-and-butter-pickled asparagus? Don't laugh, pickled asparagus is actually a thing and it's delicious.
I just like regular asparagus.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,514
8,015
113
65
Florida
#28
Seoulsearch, I'm happy to see you back at it - energizing this forum on some of the most stimulating inquiries...

Have to agree with some of your and other folks comments regarding how our lists have changed over the years...

When I was younger I assumed that I knew my own worth and found that I was trying too hard to search for that perfect 'dream girl.' In hind sight I guess that there is something to be said for the old saying: "if something looks too good to be true, it probably is..."
While I tend to credit myself for being the glue (never quit - peacemaker) that helped the marriage to last as long as it did... In hind sight it was very apparent that the one thing that I quietly craved and was never the recipient of was genuine compassion, mutual respect and equitable consideration.

Upon processing the cycles of grief - I suspect I was in the depressed phase - I had come to believe that maybe what I was looking for was a Proverbs 31 Woman...

But upon further reflection it was evident that it was not my place to seek out such a woman (Proverbs 31) - because it is not the intention for men to seek nor demand such a woman. Rather just like everything else, it is in the Lord's hands to bless us with our partners in our lives. The men who are worthy of a proverbs 31 woman are truly blessed by HIS hand...

So with all that being said... I am convinced that it is in the Lord's hands as to who my future life-partner may or may not be.
As such, I am striving to recondition my brain away from it's inherent desires to seek companionship (thus no preconceived list to look for in the conventional sense); rather to condition myself to be the best version of myself in HIS eyes - such that one day HE might deem me worthy to bless me by introducing a woman (or not) into my life's journey who:
- is a genuine Christian believer...
- Will recognize my qualities as being the very things that she is looking for in a life partner.
- Has the capacity to be able to: love unconditionally; the compassion to demonstrate her love and commitment thru her actions, choices, decisions and behaviors; make an eternal commitment
- Has a Soul that exudes such an inner beauty, calmness and strength that when our hearts finally connect - a majestic imprinting and bonding will manifest in such a way with a common understanding and silent acknowledgement that we will both have each others back from that day forward for the rest of our lives and into the next.
- Is willing to show me that I am the special someone that they deem is worthy of their interest, their desires and worth fighting for...
I like the last item on your list the best. The first item is a must. Second item is a good one too. Actually, the qualities that you are seeking is what I found in my wife, and this by the grace of God.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,428
1,288
113
#34
Hmmm... a sequel? Like what are you offering / bringing to your future marriage?

As to my list, it's a pretty vague nebulous thing; probably because I'm just not so wrapped up in finding someone to put time in to solidifying it. But I guess what would get a guy to and past the first date would include:
He respects and listens to me and my ideas (sensible productive debate encouraged and is a plus)
He strives to honor God and be conformed to God's word instead of doing some sort of logical acrobatics to dismiss the parts he doesn't like
He places a high value on integrity, honesty, and honor
He challenges and encourages me to be all I can be and excel in all areas of life

Bonuses would be:
He'll play board games with me for hours on end and think game night is a great idea for date night
He makes me laugh so hard I'm in danger of wetting my pants
He has a natural knack for connecting with people and integrating into a community (a knack I lack but wish I had)
He believes in planning but isn't dependent on things going exactly according to plan

Ok that's probably enough, anyone (male) meeting all these criteria can contact me at 1-800-DESPERDATE (it's short for desperate to date if you must know). If more than one exists, I'll take your contact info and devise a 1,000 page questionaire to help me determine which is the most compatible and would be my best choice.
Okay, so in the interest of full disclosure - I tried calling the number you provided... lol...
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,236
1,270
113
#35
Okay, so in the interest of full disclosure - I tried calling the number you provided... lol...
I thought it should be obvious it was a fake number, but I had slight misgivings about it because when I was in college, it was right around the time the 888 toll free numbers came out. And some students had discovered that if you dialed the 800 instead of 888 number for the university admissions office, well it got you to the kind of phone number that parents generally don't want their children calling.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,428
1,288
113
#36
I thought it should be obvious it was a fake number, but I had slight misgivings about it because when I was in college, it was right around the time the 888 toll free numbers came out. And some students had discovered that if you dialed the 800 instead of 888 number for the university admissions office, well it got you to the kind of phone number that parents generally don't want their children calling.
Yes it was, I just couldn't resist to add some levity to the obvious... lol ;)
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
22,875
2,643
113
#37
I just want a nurse. Not because I need one, but because I've always had a soft spot in my heart for nurses. They are amazing people. I've met many of them. I would be one myself if I could.

 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,639
113
#39
I married a woman who was half cowgirl, half biker, and half hippy. what I discovered was that she was 150% crazy!!!
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,639
113
#40
Slasher movies - What are those?
Slasher movies are those which usually have some superhuman serial killer that never dies. Also, stupid girls(or boys)that answer the door at night, walk into dark, dangerous places, and fall down a lot when running from the killer.