How Do Men Like to be Complimented?

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Miri

The Thingy Member
Jul 22, 2012
8,908
1,856
113
UK age 50
#84
Anyway, got to pop to the chemist now for my aunt to pick up all her
prescriptions, (that’s half the chemist shop).

If I see any men along the way I will try out my new found compliment
skills on them.

 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
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#85
Hey Everyone,

Since we have a thread going on about when it may or may not be appropriate to call a woman "hot" or "beautiful", I wanted to start a thread asking the gentlemen how THEY like to be complimented.

I have this theory that most people hear only bad things about themselves (whether through their own self-talk or from others), and very rarely ever hear anything good, especially as they get older.

I also wonder if it's tougher for the guys, because women generally hear positive feedback from their close friends, but how often do men hear anything positive about themselves (I'm guessing not often), and how can we change that?

For example, I have often been around male co-workers whom I've wanted to compliment for various qualities, but, it seems like there are so many complication, especially between opposite genders.

For example:

+ I don't want to sound like a creeper (you know, like the kind who drives a windowless van and has it parked outside.)

+ I don't want to sound like I'm hitting on him (most especially because he may have a girlfriend or even a wife, and may not be wearing a ring.) I don't want to disrespect another woman by complimenting her man in a way that would be seen as inappropriate (and I know in many cases, even if you try to give an "innocent" compliment, like about his character, it could be see as you trying to steal someone's man away.)

+ If he IS a single available guy, I don't want him to think I am somehow obsessing over him or throwing myself at him.

My usual approach is to try to compliment something about their values such as, "Thank you for beinghonest," or, "Thank you for taking the time to put that away instead of just throwing it anywhere." But I often wonder if it's best that I not say anything at all.

How about the rest of you?

* Have you ever found yourself wanting to compliment a guy (even if you're a guy and want to say something encouraging to another brother in Christ), but didn't know what to say, or how to word it?

* If you want to compliment something about a guy, how do you go about it without sending the wrong signals?

* Guys, what tips would you give the rest of us for trying to say something supportive to you?

And, as a bonus-- How does one go about complimenting a man over his looks? I am a child of the 80's, and back then, all the girls described an attractive male (good golly, that sounds so sterile, like a lab description or something) as "cute". And I'm guessing men aren't very fond of that.

* Guys, would it ever be appropriate for someone to compliment your looks? What descriptions do you prefer -- would you want to be called "handsome", "good-looking", "cute", etc.?

* If you work out a lot at the gym, what could someone who notices that say without sounding like a stalker?

* Or, is it best not to say anything at all, to avoid any misunderstandings?

We are eagerly awaiting your replies. :)
Great post. I am looking forward to hear the guys' replies. I also think I'm being creepy if I compliment a man.

Question for the guys; Do you get creeped out if a girl likes you but you don't like them back?
 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
183
165
43
36
#86
Seoulsearch - always enjoy the breadth and depth of your inquiries...
I do suspect that there are so many different types of men - that what applies to some of us - may not apply to others...

I see 'acknowledgement' as an amazing means for positive engagement... Even if 'differences' are acknowledged...

In general Men need RESPECT more than anything (well, you know what I mean)...
Since Men need TO PROVIDE... acknowledging their EFFORTS to either provide, produce, or perform a role, duty or task can be quit rewarding..

With that being said - I suspect that men would like to be commended for and given credit/acknowledgement for their efforts... regardless of the outcome...

WARNING: Men are Human and as such they/we are inclined to error... So unless it is your intention to get their intention, be aware that they may in fact mis-interpret any complimentary niceties to mean more than what you might have intended... Yes, we are inclined to read too-much between the lines...

Especially at the gym... so unless you genuinely have a lot in common with your workout routines that warrant a well deserved and acknowledged compliment - be very weary of their tendency to potentially read too-much into it...

"
In general Men need RESPECT more than anything (well, you know what I mean)...
Since Men need TO PROVIDE... acknowledging their EFFORTS to either provide, produce, or perform a role, duty or task can be quit rewarding.. "

I am reading a book called "For Women Only" suggested by @Hamarr and it says exactly this. Men require respect to feel loved. Super interesting...
 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
183
165
43
36
#87
I took a quiz to see how well I knew my wife which asked what are the 5 most important things to your wife in your relationship together. I got all 5 things in order correct EXCEPT I reversed answers #1 and #2, believing that spending time together was #1, but to my surprise, found out that COMPLIMENTS are #1 on her list. Yes, it's really that important to women. :giggle:
True that my Canadian friend!
PS We're gettign 45 cm overnight tonight...
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,722
3,938
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#89
"
In general Men need RESPECT more than anything (well, you know what I mean)...
Since Men need TO PROVIDE... acknowledging their EFFORTS to either provide, produce, or perform a role, duty or task can be quit rewarding.. "

I am reading a book called "For Women Only" suggested by @Hamarr and it says exactly this. Men require respect to feel loved. Super interesting...
Interesting... who wrote the book? A male or female? Lol
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,722
3,938
113
#90
Great post. I am looking forward to hear the guys' replies. I also think I'm being creepy if I compliment a man.

Question for the guys; Do you get creeped out if a girl likes you but you don't like them back?
Why would you feel creepy?

I’d like to know better ways on how to compliment a man aside from the normal “I like your haircut” or “you have nice hands”.

In truth, I do like a mans hands, especially if they’re musculant looking 😂
 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
183
165
43
36
#91
Interesting... who wrote the book? A male or female? Lol
lol it was a female with her husband. I guess she surveyed thousands of men to get the data. Very Interesting. There is another one about women called For women only that i;m gonna read next.
 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
183
165
43
36
#92
Why would you feel creepy?

I’d like to know better ways on how to compliment a man aside from the normal “I like your haircut” or “you have nice hands”.

In truth, I do like a mans hands, especially if they’re muscular looking 😂
i would feel creepy if the man thought I was coming on too strong or if he didn't like me and thought I liked him he may think i'm creepy...i dunno lol
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,722
3,938
113
#94
i would feel creepy if the man thought I was coming on too strong or if he didn't like me and thought I liked him he may think i'm creepy...i dunno lol
I think it depends on the man receiving the compliment... some have different reactions than others but I see your point. Just tell em that you ain’t being creepy lol
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,722
3,938
113
#95
Hahaha that's a good one....

I was thinking of their hair....never touch their hair...anyway, they're very fond of their hair with all the greasy gel and the position the tresses are....I can't even form the words right now...my goodness....but a compliment would really be appreciated for their hair...hehe
Where’s Nate when you need him lol
 
Jan 30, 2019
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#96
Interesting thread. I have been complimented on my eyes. I was very grateful. Hope that helps.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,722
3,938
113
#97
Interesting thread. I have been complimented on my eyes. I was very grateful. Hope that helps.
Okay let’s be real here. How can a woman compliment a mans eyes or looks for that matter without sounding like she’s into him?

My silly thinking is that if a woman was to say to a man “you have lovely eyes” then his thinking might be:

“She likes me”
“She wants me”
“She’s into me”

I would like to give compliments without sounding like I like them.

Am I right or wrong? Lol
 
Jan 30, 2019
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#98
Okay let’s be real here. How can a woman compliment a mans eyes or looks for that matter without sounding like she’s into him?

My silly thinking is that if a woman was to say to a man “you have lovely eyes” then his thinking might be:

“She likes me”
“She wants me”
“She’s into me”

I would like to give compliments without sounding like I like them.

Am I right or wrong? Lol
I can see that being quite a conundrum. I personally am not suspect to anything other than an innocent comment. I do however recognize how they could easily be misinterpreted. I guess it really depends on the person being complimented.
 

Hamarr

Well-known member
Oct 28, 2018
556
609
93
#99
Maybe it’s because I tend to assume the person wouldn’t be interested, but I would take the compliment as the woman saying she likes my eye color or whatever? Or be busy thinking what on was nice about them. Lol

I’m not every guy, of course. I can see some assuming you are into them.