Having more time to consider my post, I wanted to make a formal apology. We have chatted some in the past and I took a liberty that you had not extended. So I do sincerely ask you forgiveness.
I actually think very highly of you. I also recognize that the things we learn are only fully satisfied to us as we are able to share them with others. I have lots of kids, so I always have someone to share with. I didn't consider that this isn't true for everyone.
Hi Cameron,
I want to thank you so much for your sincere apology, though on my part, I apologize for taking your post so seriously. I was fairly certain you were joking but... you know, I guess I've grown too sensitive about my very noticeable "mole".
However, since it's been determined that we now have matching moles, everything is going to be just groovy!
Thank you also for recognizing that many of us don't have someone to share with on a regular basis. One of the hardest things for me when my husband left was coming home, throwing my keys on the counter, and hearing the empty echo throughout the house. It seemed to scream, "You are a failure, he found someone better than you and he has someone, unlike you, you pathetic loser!" every. single. day. Every now and then, that echo still tries to tell me the same thing.
For many years, I was blessed to have weekends off, but I would come home every Friday night and talk to God about how, if I died on Friday evening (whether by natural, unnatural, or accelerated causes,) no one would come looking for me until Tuesday. Saturday and Sunday, there would be no reason for anyone to notice. I was part of a church but my absence would be a mere blink, as the volunteer work I did was mostly behind the scenes. If I missed work on Monday, people would wonder because even though I always showed up, they would most likely let it pass. It most likely would have taken until around Tuesday until someone would start to really wonder what was up, and that would only be because of work.
Many of us are living this way. Many of us don't hear a human voice unless it's some sort of media programming or a service worker at the grocery store. Many of us go though a day, or days, without speaking a single word out loud. I have fit into this category many times, and maybe that's why I come here and write (people here who've met me in person have often commented that, to their surprise, I don't say much in real life unless I get on a tangent.)
It takes a very big toll on one's mental health, and for many of us, this forum might be the difference that keeps us from slipping into the danger zone.
I also understand, and apologize to you for being somewhat hypocritical when it comes to joking with someone online. One of the other criticisms I've heard often is that I'm a clique leader who only includes certain people. Your post was a prime example as to why people think this. When I joke with people here, it's either ones I truly know (and know what I can get away with!
) or else I'm testing the waters with someone new who seems open to it.
Often, I've failed spectacularly, managing to offend a newcomer but not meaning to, and so it makes me very cautious about trying to joke with anyone else outside the familiar.
I failed to respond to your attempt as properly and considerately as I should have, and I am truly sorry for that.
I don't see people here in the forums apologizing very often, but I've seen you apologize to many people here, and have the utmost respect for you because of it. It's probably the rarest quality I ever see in the forums. Thank you for being here! I enjoy seeing your posts and am glad you don't find it belittling or somehow below your status to hang out with us singles.
In Asian culture, adoptees like me are seen as "not being fully human," and are therefore treated as lesser beings, useful only for service or exploitation. In the Christian world, singles are often seen as and treated the same way. Yet most of the singles I know are taking care of the elderly, disabled, and vulnerable in their families, so I know God has just as many purposes for us as anyone else.
Over the years, we've had members like
@tourist and
@melita916 who came here in a single state like us, participating regularly in our talks about single life. Now that God has blessed them with spouses, they've shown us the kindness of staying with us, but still talking as peers and not as Christians who are somehow on a Higher Level than we are.
Thank you for being another married friend who shares your wisdom, experiences, and awesome sense of humor without patronizing or looking down at us.
We are thankful that you choose to spend time with us, and glad to have you here!
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