I am 45 years old and I never have had a girlfriend.

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melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
9,918
2,048
113
#22
I think a good thing to remember is that we always have purpose. God wants to use us for His glory in every stage of our lives.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
4,313
3,983
113
#24
Hello everyone. This is the first time I have posted something in the Christian Singles Forum. I am 45 years old and I never have had a girlfriend ever in my lifetime, or even gone on a date with a female. I feel like a loser. People who have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend by the time they reach the age of 45 seem to considered to be losers by other people.
There is nothing wrong with me personally. I have a nice physique also. I am well off financially.
Yet, I can't find that elusive girlfriend. I am starting to become really frustrated.
I have started to pray to God every night before going to sleep that He leads me down the path to finding a girlfriend. God has no problem answering my other prayers to Him, but God just won't answer my prayer in finding a girlfriend and my faith in God is starting to become low because of it. I have had suicidal thoughts if God doesn't find me a girlfriend in the next year or two.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? It is not cool to be 45 years old and to never have had the experience of having a girlfriend. If there is one person in the world that deserves a girlfriend more that anyone else, it is me.
Before I can answer this, I would need to know why you think you deserve a girlfriend more than anyone else.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,597
1,337
113
#25
Hello everyone. This is the first time I have posted something in the Christian Singles Forum. I am 45 years old and I never have had a girlfriend ever in my lifetime, or even gone on a date with a female. I feel like a loser. People who have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend by the time they reach the age of 45 seem to considered to be losers by other people.
There is nothing wrong with me personally. I have a nice physique also. I am well off financially.
Yet, I can't find that elusive girlfriend. I am starting to become really frustrated.
I have started to pray to God every night before going to sleep that He leads me down the path to finding a girlfriend. God has no problem answering my other prayers to Him, but God just won't answer my prayer in finding a girlfriend and my faith in God is starting to become low because of it. I have had suicidal thoughts if God doesn't find me a girlfriend in the next year or two.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? It is not cool to be 45 years old and to never have had the experience of having a girlfriend. If there is one person in the world that deserves a girlfriend more that anyone else, it is me.
My advice is don't be so entitled. You seem to feel you deserve something more than everyone else. That's entitlement. And over an issue that is not even promised.
God might feel you are entitled to hell, not a girlfriend.
I've had various girlfriends over the years (I'm 44) and you know what else I have? Tons and tons of baggage and heartache. You think having a gf equates to some kind of happiness, but realize most dating relationships fail. And of those few that don't fail, half of those end in divorce.
You aren't entitled to a gf at all. I get the desire to want to be with someone, but acting like you're owed something is a very bad place to start. What happens if/when that relationship fails, will you still feel entitled?
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
804
692
93
#28
Before I can answer this, I would need to know why you think you deserve a girlfriend more than anyone else.
I think because he's 45 and never had even 1 girl-friend😔...and it sounds like he has kept himself, that he is Godly; also he is financially secure... if he HAS kept himself, in obedience to the Lord, then I would agree, he does deserve a nice, Godly wife😁It's not easy to remain single, for that long, when you do not have that 'ability.' Matt 19 v12
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
840
834
93
#29
Hello everyone. This is the first time I have posted something in the Christian Singles Forum. I am 45 years old and I never have had a girlfriend ever in my lifetime, or even gone on a date with a female. I feel like a loser. People who have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend by the time they reach the age of 45 seem to considered to be losers by other people.
There is nothing wrong with me personally. I have a nice physique also. I am well off financially.
Yet, I can't find that elusive girlfriend. I am starting to become really frustrated.
I have started to pray to God every night before going to sleep that He leads me down the path to finding a girlfriend. God has no problem answering my other prayers to Him, but God just won't answer my prayer in finding a girlfriend and my faith in God is starting to become low because of it. I have had suicidal thoughts if God doesn't find me a girlfriend in the next year or two.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? It is not cool to be 45 years old and to never have had the experience of having a girlfriend. If there is one person in the world that deserves a girlfriend more that anyone else, it is me.
It is fine to be 45 and not have had a girlfriend. If you are not fine with this situation then I have to ask about your approach. Are you waiting for life to happen for you, do you have a long fantasy list of what the woman has to be or are you stepping out and actually asking women on dates? What are you bringing to the table? Are you angry at women because you are single? You have to be honest with yourself if you are looking for a relationship to get things for yourself or you are wanting to be there for someone else? A woman knows if you are really seeing her and wanting to get to know her. In order to give you their heart, their trust and commitment they need to know that this is a wise move. They need to know that you are emotionally ready to be open and see them as a person rather than a job applicant who is there to fill a space in your life. How do you approach women? Do you ask questions? Do you listen? Do you make her feel special? Just some thoughts.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,514
8,015
113
65
Florida
#30
Why can't someone just want Him for being him?
Why does he have to try and improve himself? God loves him.
This is really profound. We all could improve ourselves with God's help but in relationships you must accept the person for who they currently are or don't bother to try to start one.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
956
726
93
45
#31
Just go out and find one, youre gonna have to talk n stuff but it can happen.

Im sure if you go pokin around then you will find the woman you so clearly deserve.
 

EleventhHour

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
2,785
3,640
113
#32
Just go out and find one, youre gonna have to talk n stuff but it can happen.

Im sure if you go pokin around then you will find the woman you so clearly deserve.
I think I gave that same advise to you a while back. ;)
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
4,313
3,983
113
#34
I think because he's 45 and never had even 1 girl-friend😔...and it sounds like he has kept himself, that he is Godly; also he is financially secure... if he HAS kept himself, in obedience to the Lord, then I would agree, he does deserve a nice, Godly wife😁It's not easy to remain single, for that long, when you do not have that 'ability.' Matt 19 v12
I wonder why he hasn't responded yet to anyone:unsure:.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,514
8,015
113
65
Florida
#36
Just go out and find one, youre gonna have to talk n stuff but it can happen.

Im sure if you go pokin around then you will find the woman you so clearly deserve.
Is finding the woman that is deserved a good thing or a bad thing? Of course, God is merciful and compassionate and rather than finding a woman that he deserves He will search and find the woman of his heart's desire. Of course, God is not going to simply drop a prospective spouse in one's lap but will take effort on his part in pursuing this woman by taking bold, decisive action if an opportunity should arise. Personally, I would not want anything from God that I really deserved. I don't seek fairness but rather compassion and mercy in all areas of my life.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
28,642
7,140
113
#37
Many, many years ago, I had a bona fide suicide attempt, but it sure didn't seem to convince God to be in any hurry (and of course, this was also a major red flag at the time that I wasn't ready for someone, though at the time, I obviously thought I would die if I didn't find someone RIGHT THEN.)
Dear Seoulsearch, I am glad that you failed in this attempt, and am very grateful that you have moved on from that place of utter despair and hopelessness.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
956
726
93
45
#38
Is finding the woman that is deserved a good thing or a bad thing? Of course, God is merciful and compassionate and rather than finding a woman that he deserves He will search and find the woman of his heart's desire. Of course, God is not going to simply drop a prospective spouse in one's lap but will take effort on his part in pursuing this woman by taking bold, decisive action if an opportunity should arise. Personally, I would not want anything from God that I really deserved. I don't seek fairness but rather compassion and mercy in all areas of my life.

If people truly understood what we deserve...............................
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,358
3,029
113
#40
Nothing wrong with having a girlfriend. Nothing wrong with looking for one.

Where you run into trouble is when you make it EVERYTHING in your life...



"I'm nothing without you" is SUCH a messed up sentiment.