Howdy Folks,
I have been single for a long time and have decided to get back into the dating scene again... via a few Christian dating sites. As you will probably hear me complain about often, I seem to only attract men who are old enough to be my father or grandfather.
Do any of you out there have problems with potential dates paying attention to you solely because of how you look? How do you handle these situations and what is your advice?
Just the other day, I received an email from a guy who wrote, "I saw your picture and think you're such a beautiful woman and I am very interested in you." Oh, doesn't that sound sweet... except...
He then went on to say he has a son (who is only a few years younger than me!), then talked briefly about his ex (whether wife or girlfriend, he didn't say), and how much wrong she had done to him, then tossed in an "Oh, and I liked what you wrote in your profile," (I suppose as an attempt to cover some of the shallowness, so it seems) and ended with, "Please write and tell me more about you. What would you say are your best physical features?"
And I'm thinking, HELLO!! GOODBYE!!! And the saddest part of all is that these are Christian sites.
I have decided that from now on... if any guy writes me something like that again (and seeing as how it's been going, I'll probably have another message like that in my box again tomorrow), I am going to write back, "My best physical features? Well, I happen to have an extremely curvy, impressively buxom... cerebral cortex..." and see how that goes over (knowing my luck, it will probably backfire, but hey--I'm not the passive type.)
Believe me, I was always sort of an ugly duckling--I know these men are just writing to me because to them, I look "young". I have no interest in being someone's trophy!
I also get the infamous line, "Oh, I just love Asian girls," all the time, which I personally loathe, because it makes me feel like a breed of dog ("Oh, I just love schnauzers!") but hey, maybe that's just me.
What have you all experienced as far as someone paying attention to you just because of how you look? How has it made you feel? How have you dealt with it and what have you said?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I have been single for a long time and have decided to get back into the dating scene again... via a few Christian dating sites. As you will probably hear me complain about often, I seem to only attract men who are old enough to be my father or grandfather.
Do any of you out there have problems with potential dates paying attention to you solely because of how you look? How do you handle these situations and what is your advice?
Just the other day, I received an email from a guy who wrote, "I saw your picture and think you're such a beautiful woman and I am very interested in you." Oh, doesn't that sound sweet... except...
He then went on to say he has a son (who is only a few years younger than me!), then talked briefly about his ex (whether wife or girlfriend, he didn't say), and how much wrong she had done to him, then tossed in an "Oh, and I liked what you wrote in your profile," (I suppose as an attempt to cover some of the shallowness, so it seems) and ended with, "Please write and tell me more about you. What would you say are your best physical features?"
And I'm thinking, HELLO!! GOODBYE!!! And the saddest part of all is that these are Christian sites.
I have decided that from now on... if any guy writes me something like that again (and seeing as how it's been going, I'll probably have another message like that in my box again tomorrow), I am going to write back, "My best physical features? Well, I happen to have an extremely curvy, impressively buxom... cerebral cortex..." and see how that goes over (knowing my luck, it will probably backfire, but hey--I'm not the passive type.)
Believe me, I was always sort of an ugly duckling--I know these men are just writing to me because to them, I look "young". I have no interest in being someone's trophy!
I also get the infamous line, "Oh, I just love Asian girls," all the time, which I personally loathe, because it makes me feel like a breed of dog ("Oh, I just love schnauzers!") but hey, maybe that's just me.
What have you all experienced as far as someone paying attention to you just because of how you look? How has it made you feel? How have you dealt with it and what have you said?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
First off, here...full disclosure: my wife and I met online, dated online, and were engaged online before we met in person. She lived in NYC, I was in Chicago. We also used a Christian site, though not one explicitly for dating.
Having said that...do you really find that dating in person is different from online? The whole thing about guys just taking the time because they find you physically attractive...isn't that exactly how it works in person, too? (It's sad, I know...but true.)
Honestly, and you already know this...there is nothing you can do to stop it. The best thing to do would be to take any comments about your looks- if they are the first thing a guy says to you- as an automatic disqualifier. If he's that shallow, he isn't a good person. Second bit of advice is difficult: don't include any pictures on your profile. I know that automatically means a LOT fewer responses, but which ones are you going to be editing out if you do this? The purely physical attraction ones that you don't want anyway. If you get any responses without a picture on your profile, then you know that the person is responding to WHO you are, based on what you wrote.
Oh, and btw...my wife first contacted me because she thought I was cute.
