If You Were Dating Someone On CC, Would You Announce It to the Rest of the Forum?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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A few years ago, I would have made any girlfriend I had a public thing.
Now, absolutely not. I think announcing it to the world (up until the wedding invitations) would just dilute how special the relationship would be. And if it was one of you CC ladies? I would most definitely want to keep it hush hush in case it doesn't work out. I don't want to announce the headline, "SGT. SCHULTZ AND MISS DOE BREAK UP, MAN CLAIMS HE KNOWS NOTHING"!
Now, absolutely not. I think announcing it to the world (up until the wedding invitations) would just dilute how special the relationship would be. And if it was one of you CC ladies? I would most definitely want to keep it hush hush in case it doesn't work out. I don't want to announce the headline, "SGT. SCHULTZ AND MISS DOE BREAK UP, MAN CLAIMS HE KNOWS NOTHING"!
I watched that when I was even younger than you! 
Mixed feelings on this one.
My initial feeling is "no" - better to keep it private. After a time though, if things get more serious and the 2 people are still actively posting on the same internet medium with the same other people - it can be become problematic for various reasons - including reasons of newbies flirting with or otherwise getting to know your significant other.
Somewhere else on the net, I had an issue with a certain person. We had become close in many private chats - but for a variety of reasons - I had to sever the relationship. The way I did it and what resulted within the community turned out to be a lose lose for me. She and her friends actively worked to get me booted - which worked. I eventually developed sock accounts so I could continue to contribute - although of course under a disguise. Some of them got caught as I was recognized.
So I got a reputation as a sock-creator. Not a big deal at the place I was doing it because they were so strict and people got disciplined/booted so easily that many many people had sock accounts - and I found out later most of the staff did as well. Except that - a good deal of them were liars and wouldn't admit it publicly.
The worst of it was when this female I was involved with went all over the net with her little clique of friends and made accusations against me. I was not named specifically - but I must have been in private - because all of the males who were eager to impress her and their fellow peers would do what she wouldn't - make accusations publicly using my most known name.
To make matters worse - a few of the more dumpy/desperate and immoral members (both male and female) began to see that playing whiteknight or damsel in distress seemed to earn them a reputation they sought among their peers. Males got respect for being valiant dragon slayers, and the females got to play the fair damsel who is beset everywhere by an evil ogre and needed constant and continuous saving by eager male members.
At my expense. By my name. With great exaggerations and even some outright lies.
So you ask about disclosure of a relationship - and I say - it's best to disclose it after things get a little more serious. If it ends badly - my suggestion would be to absolutely do not do what I did - continue on the same internet medium - but rather use a new name and go elsewhere. Leave the community - because there will be individuals with their own agendas who will take advantage in any way they can. People who self label "Christian" are certainly not exempt.
My initial feeling is "no" - better to keep it private. After a time though, if things get more serious and the 2 people are still actively posting on the same internet medium with the same other people - it can be become problematic for various reasons - including reasons of newbies flirting with or otherwise getting to know your significant other.
Somewhere else on the net, I had an issue with a certain person. We had become close in many private chats - but for a variety of reasons - I had to sever the relationship. The way I did it and what resulted within the community turned out to be a lose lose for me. She and her friends actively worked to get me booted - which worked. I eventually developed sock accounts so I could continue to contribute - although of course under a disguise. Some of them got caught as I was recognized.
So I got a reputation as a sock-creator. Not a big deal at the place I was doing it because they were so strict and people got disciplined/booted so easily that many many people had sock accounts - and I found out later most of the staff did as well. Except that - a good deal of them were liars and wouldn't admit it publicly.
The worst of it was when this female I was involved with went all over the net with her little clique of friends and made accusations against me. I was not named specifically - but I must have been in private - because all of the males who were eager to impress her and their fellow peers would do what she wouldn't - make accusations publicly using my most known name.
To make matters worse - a few of the more dumpy/desperate and immoral members (both male and female) began to see that playing whiteknight or damsel in distress seemed to earn them a reputation they sought among their peers. Males got respect for being valiant dragon slayers, and the females got to play the fair damsel who is beset everywhere by an evil ogre and needed constant and continuous saving by eager male members.
At my expense. By my name. With great exaggerations and even some outright lies.
So you ask about disclosure of a relationship - and I say - it's best to disclose it after things get a little more serious. If it ends badly - my suggestion would be to absolutely do not do what I did - continue on the same internet medium - but rather use a new name and go elsewhere. Leave the community - because there will be individuals with their own agendas who will take advantage in any way they can. People who self label "Christian" are certainly not exempt.
