If you would like to marry soon...….?

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love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
379
397
63
#21
I would like to marry someone who can answer my simple questions well.

1. Do you love God?
2. Are you working
3. If I follow you where are we going? Heaven or Hell?
4. What is your vision and purpose in life?
5. How can I help you?

I like the idea of questions.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
3,245
2,736
113
#24
I would like to marry someone who can answer my simple questions well.

1. Do you love God?
2. Are you working
3. If I follow you where are we going? Heaven or Hell?
4. What is your vision and purpose in life?
5. How can I help you?
Another very important question that I learned from my mentoring class is 'What church do you attend'. She is saying that someone can say they are a Christian and love God, but might be wishy- washy in reality. Also she said to ask if they incorporate prayer into their everyday lives. She has a good marriage and loves to mentor.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,136
1,595
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#26
Well I myself wouldn't put any limits on God when we desire something, but I understand your pov, thx.
This thread was intended for those on CC who would like to be married. I thought it would be nice to let them voice what they would favor in a partner. More along the lines of... likes to go window shopping, likes going on walks, likes to be in the same volunteer group, likes animals and so on. Things just to think about.
Oh ok
I cant think of many men that like window shopping. I dislike shopping so wouldnt drag anyone along to that if I can help it. If they have two legs they better like walking!
Dont know about being in same volunteer group if they not already doing something I wouldnt force them to do the same thing as I am. But they need to be willing to give time to others.
Animals...well the person has to treat animals with kindness and respect and care for them like God creatures. So not just like them as anyone can like them...

Im thinking more for character and their spirit than those surface things. Im sure God will let me know the exact moment when Hes shown me someone He wants me to really be with. They could like all those things and still not be born again so their relationship with Jesus needs to be priority.

Everyone is so different and theres a lot more to people than their likes and dislikes so its hard to say what you would be looking for...For example i like reading books but lots of others like reading books too however i couldnt really get into extreme sci fi and fanstasy that some people like.
I like gardening but there are guys who garden and whos idea of gardening is killing everything they dont like with weedkiller. I think they need to have an understanding and love of Gods creation, and also read the Bible, not just study it but ENJOY reading it.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
711
463
63
#30
Hard to really think about a "laundry list" (although I would like my laundry done lol)

I mean I do it, but I also rewear clothes and I presume that my future spouse would not appreciate that.

Possibly the dry cleaners will be an option for a lot of things.



....Anyway...currently I can see a secretarial wife as having a lot of value. Not that I wouldn't value her otherwise, it's just I see that as a need in the future and it's a pretty personal thing to be someone's assistant.

or good with delegation of said task to another. I want her to be a good manager...like in proverbs.



Since I'm not 100% sure of the direction the Lord wants me to take I frankly have no idea on what would be a desirable quality as far as functionality. I'm pretty useful for a lot of things but incredibly useless in others...ideally the reverse would be true.

I'm pretty confident I'm supposed to wait and it isn't the right timing on my "calling" but I've legit had no answers on the wife thing so I'm thinking it will be pretty much a surprise.

Someone that is open to wherever the Lord wants to go. I know that's what a lot of people say...but someone like Elizabeth Elliot. I would want a wife in the field but at the same time I recognize that it could be that certain rigors may not suit her. I'm pretty open.

Background doesn't really matter much to me. Age does a bit, but it seems to be becoming less important the older I get. I think it'd be odd to take on children from a previous marriage...hadn't even fathomed that before and yet I've come across potentials a few times that started to simulate that. Being a step-child I just don't like it...but it may be different from a parental perspective.

Ty for topic. I rarely think about it anymore because it's like once a year that possibles cross my path. I just found a cool singles ministry in the state that I live in (that is mostly older people) but perhaps that will expand my horizons or at least hear other people's stories and learn a bit.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,629
787
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Arizona
#34
Oh I have a legit list. Goes from the importants of Christianity and faith walk to respect for their family and mutual geekiness :D :D :D
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,136
1,595
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#36
Mutual geekiness lol.

Having worked in and around IT fields I'm sorry I know it pays good money, but I'm not impressed by video gamers or men who are into computers. IF a man can build a house (not just design it on CAD) or actually make something practical that would be great, cos my dad never could do any of those things. He might fix. A Few things that are broken but actually creating something original was beyond him. He was also really into nostalgia and old things.

I cant be into that all the time ive got to live in the present. So I know a few things just by living with my dad and observing my parents marriage that I dont really want but on another note kindness and respect are top.
Another thing I think that generation men just didnt bother cooking and left it to wives to do but nowadays husbands can be more adventuous with their cuisine and actually cook. Please dont burn the bbq and then end up having to microwave it.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
3,245
2,736
113
#37
Yes, I love it when a man does the cooking or helping with the dishes and isn't worried about his manhood. Still. I would prefer them to fix my car or the plumbing...then the cooking and dishes, lol. jk
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,136
1,595
113
#38
In the furture I would have one of those solar powered cars that dont need to be fixed or an e bike...and as for plumbing, if you dont eat so much fat and oil in your diet shouldnt have a problem. I would advocate for composting toilets as a future sutainable living scenario...if you live in an older area maybe you have problems with plumbing but thankfully never had that much problems. My dad couldnt do either, mum has a brother, my uncle who can bake cakes AND fix the plumbing. I dont know how he is with cars though.

Am taking my car For wof and replacement brakes tomorrow...I think if you need to take it to mechanic to get your WOF (warrant of fitness) anyway you might as well get them to fix it at the same time by someone whos qualified to do it. . My brother, who does restore old cars, couldnt give me a WOF anyway. He did pop out some dents though.

I think people flush all sorts of questionable things down the drains these days. They dont realise it just goes into the sea and pollutes marine life there.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,136
1,595
113
#39
If I had someone do a shoddy job of plumbing it would be worse than if they didnt do it at all. Knowing how to change a tap washer is ok but anything more call in the experts. I change my own lightbulbs but I dont do wiring.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,870
2,679
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#40
Okay I think I have my answer to this thread's question. As this question is often asked on this forum, I may copy the following answer to a .txt file for pasting in subsequent similar threads.

I would like to someday find a lady who is willing to talk, listen, trust and be trustworthy. If she and I are both consistent in these things, I think it will cover everything else.

I want to be able to do things for her because I love her, not because I'm afraid she will nag me until I do what she wants, or pout and act spitfully if I don't do what she wants. I want to be able to discuss things she wants that I don't want, or things I want that she doesn't want, until we both understand each other on why the things are important to one and why the other doesn't want them. I want for us to be able to make decisions as a team, not as me trying to get my way versus her trying to get her way.

This is a lot to ask, because first it takes trust. I have to be able to trust her to consider OUR interests instead of only HER interests, and she has to have the same trust in me. If that trust ever fails, everything else will fall too. It takes being willing to talk, and sometimes talk for a while, and sometimes try five different ways of explaining until one of us understands why the other wants something so badly and one understands why the other so strongly does not want it. It takes being patient, not just saying "Oh never mind!" and giving up. It takes being willing to try to understand.

Now I know these relationships exist. I have seen a lot of them. I haven't seen it in MOST relationships... in fact I have seen it in slightly less than half the relationships I have seen... but I have seen enough to know these relationships do exist. They may not be very GOOD at communicating, but they are willing to keep trying until they get their signals straight between them, because each actually cares about what the other thinks and feels, and each wants the other to be happy. Not just "happy enough to give me what I want and not nag me," they really care about each other. The other slightly-more-than-half the relationships I have seen seem to be based on "What can I get out of this, and what do I have to put into it?"

My problem though, and the reason I am still single, is the local ladies I know who are willing to communicate... are already married. Happily married, to guys who are also willing to communicate with them. The remaining local single ladies view disagreements as automatic arguments and discussions as confrontations. If somebody disagrees with them they immediately drop into conversational battle mode.

Bleh. Forever alone. :p

But yeah, that's the kind of lady I dream of finding one day. One who is willing to talk and listen instead of arguing, one who is willing to explain and willing to work as a team of two people facing the world.