Is there a chance to find a partner at my age of 42

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kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,946
1,507
113
Hello Kinda,

I agree, you are right for everything in this statement. Yes, there is possibility for divorce of death, I accept it. But it can not stop us like humans to try to be happy, to love and to give. We are not here on Earth for forever.
Personally, for me the money are just a tool. Tool for ability of better education for example or to create and leave something behind. No more and no less. I will be happy to share my resources and together we will be able to achieve more. With two words, I do believe in the good part in us humans.
Very well than, I tried to warn you. :) If we lived in a perfect world, I would agree with you, but the reality is, we don't

Keep us updated.
 

Pretty40

New member
Nov 1, 2021
9
7
3
Hello to everyone here!
What do you think, is there a chance to find a partner in age of 42? I am a little bit shy probably, no cigars, almost no alcohol at all. Work as a technician, have some education behind me. Just a regular and romantic soul. Thank you
I believe you can find the right person even though you are 42. Keep believing and be patient it will happen for you.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,879
4,344
113
mywebsite.us
Now that the thread is back on track (after 100 posts), I am pretty sure @mario313 would appreciate it if we would all leave it that way and let it continue on track... ;)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
Now that the thread is back on track (after 100 posts), I am pretty sure @mario313 would appreciate it if we would all leave it that way and let it continue on track... ;)

Yes indeed.

I'm hoping that Mario will come back and answer the questions about his profile status of being "separated" before seriously asking about dating anyone else.

For myself, this would be the first thing I would ask about when considering a potential partner.


Hi Mario,

I noticed in your profile that you listed your status as "separated."

May I suggest that one of the most important things you'll need to do if you're considering dating is to get whatever your current situation is sorted out first and have some time to yourself. Here in the USA, at least, "separated" means "still legally married," and for obvious reasons, Christians cannot date anyone who is married, as this is adultery.

I have heard of instances in which one spouse files for divorce but the other refuses to sign or agree to it, even though the couple has been living apart for years (and even have different partners,) so I know every situation is different, but the single most important thing you can do is try to take care of your current status as best you can so that you can have a clean slate and conscience as you move forward. You also want to make sure that anyone interested in dating you can have a clean conscience about it as well.

I'm not saying any of this in judgment because I am also divorced, and I believe that every situation is between that person and God. Some may be cleared to remarry; others may not -- the first step is figuring out is if God is giving you the ok or not once you've gotten past your divorce.

And once you get all that taken care of, be prepared to answer questions from anyone who may be interested. Any person who is serious about you is going to want to know the reasons, conditions, and Biblical standing behind your divorce, and it will be important to be able to answer their questions honestly without being bogged down in the past. No one wants, or deserves a rebound relationship (whether you or her or both of you,) nor should they have to pay for the baggage we've suffered in the past (but it's so much easier said than done, I know.)

Either way, I hope you get everything figured out with your ex first and allow God time to heal your heart.

I wish you all the best, and hope you will keep us posted!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,686
9,618
113
Now that the thread is back on track (after 100 posts), I am pretty sure @mario313 would appreciate it if we would all leave it that way and let it continue on track... ;)
You must be new here. :sneaky:
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
Now that the thread is back on track (after 100 posts), I am pretty sure @mario313 would appreciate it if we would all leave it that way and let it continue on track... ;)
Admittedly, I could have very well missed Mario's answer to the question about being separated, and possibly still legally married, in all of the hub bub.

If I missed his answers to my questions, please feel free to point it out, because I've been trying to catch up but haven't found it yet.

This is just me, but I think that's really the first thing that needs to be addressed before answering the possibility of finding another partner.

If I remember right, when I signed up for CC, there wasn't an option for "divorced," so I chose "unmarried." I don't remember an option for "separated" but it obviously must exist now (unless I missed it when I joined the site, which is possible.)

Does anyone know, are there only options now for married, unmarried, and separated, with no option for divorced?

If so, then I can certainly see why someone who is divorced might choose the "separated" option if that's all there is.

I'm just asking the OP to clarify his status first.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
I have options for not married, married, and separated . Which seems like a rather limited number of options for status but I would also conclude that separated means marriage in process of being dissolved / divorced.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,655
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
i am not here for anyone to agree with me i understand no one wants to exposed to reality, i saw a thread then i posted that's it i can tell you guys are quite nasty and just all around asses, so ill go i know where i am not wanted and one of you probably a foid will cry to the mods about me.
There is really no need to go. We are all family here.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
I have options for not married, married, and separated . Which seems like a rather limited number of options for status but I would also conclude that separated means marriage in process of being dissolved / divorced.
Thank you, Cinder -- this is very helpful.

I can't remember if "separated" was an option when I joined... If it was, I would still have chosen "not married" because my divorce had been finalized several years before then. But I could definitely understand if someone who was already divorced or waiting on the finalization would be somewhat undecided about which one to choose, depending on the circumstances.

However, I do like to clarify a "separated" person's specific status first though before trying to suggest any dating possibilities.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,686
9,618
113
There is really no need to go. We are all family here.
Complete with occasionally picking on a brother or sister for fun.

(BDF is the dysfunctional family we don't invite to the family reunion, but they show up anyway and wreck the centerpiece with their knock-down, drag-out fights.)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
But I could definitely understand if someone who was already divorced or waiting on the finalization would be somewhat undecided about which one to choose, depending on the circumstances.

However, I do like to clarify a "separated" person's specific status first though before trying to suggest any dating possibilities.
I

I wanted to explain that I have met a few people before whose status was difficult, if not nearly impossible, to define, so I don't mean this in a judgmental sense at all.

When I was a teen, I worked with a woman whose husband literally disappeared with another woman, and she had no way of sending him divorce papers because she had no idea where he was (this was in the days before internet searches.)

I don't know what wound up happening.

And I have also met a few people whose spouses refused to give them a divorce (refusing to accept or sign the papers, etc.) -- even when they were the ones having the affairs. I don't know what can be done in a situation like that, or what the church would tell someone in that situation to do.

So when I ask these questions I'm certainly not trying to criticize or judge -- I just think we need more information before we can really answer.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,655
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
Complete with occasionally picking on a brother or sister for fun.

(BDF is the dysfunctional family we don't invite to the family reunion, but they show up anyway and wreck the centerpiece with their knock-down, drag-out fights.)
BDF is like having a crazy aunt living in your basement. Or uncle. I like that centerpiece analogy and fully agree.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
BDF is like having a crazy aunt living in your basement. Or uncle. I like that centerpiece analogy and fully agree.

Aww... But we still love our crazy aunt and uncle.

I sometimes go into the BDF just to read along.

There are several members there whom I highly respect, seeing as they are much more intelligent that I would ever be, even after having all of eternity to study!
 
Feb 8, 2020
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Yes indeed.

I'm hoping that Mario will come back and answer the questions about his profile status of being "separated" before seriously asking about dating anyone else.

With few words, about the past and my status "separated". I used to have a nice girl next to me. She does not like to go to work most of the time, so she spent the time at home or hanging around. After that came the pregnancy, everything looks normal. At some point she told me the truth. She is sex addicted, and probably the baby is not from me. It was the truth.
After that, at some point the biological father took her in his home, from what I know he is good guy, very well educated, with good job. After year or two they got second kid. At some point this man got the truth again - the second kid is not from him. Probably they had hard time after that but this is not my job.
This is the past. You can blame me because I look stupid when we check the facts. It is true and I do feel bad because of that.
But this past can not change me believes, we human can be good. Men or women, we deserve to be happy and to work for that. I do not hate my ex for what she did, this is her choice. Also this event is not able to change my believe that there are good girls out there.

For myself, this would be the first thing I would ask about when considering a potential partner.
Hello seoulsearch

With few words, about the past and my status "separated". I used to have a nice girl next to me. She does not like to go to work most of the time, so she spent the time at home or hanging around. After that came the pregnancy, everything looks normal. At some point she told me the truth. She is sex addicted, and probably the baby is not from me. It was the truth.
After that, at some point the biological father took her in his home, from what I know he is good guy, very well educated, with good job. After year or two they got second kid. At some point this man got the truth again - the second kid is not from him. Probably they had hard time after that but this is not my job.
This is the past. You can blame me because I look stupid when we check the facts. It is true and I do feel bad because of that.
But this past can not change me believes, we human can be good. Men or women, we deserve to be happy and to work for that. I do not hate my ex for what she did, this is her choice. Also this event is not able to change my believe that there are good girls out there.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
With few words, about the past and my status "separated". I used to have a nice girl next to me. She does not like to go to work most of the time, so she spent the time at home or hanging around. After that came the pregnancy, everything looks normal. At some point she told me the truth. She is sex addicted, and probably the baby is not from me. It was the truth.
After that, at some point the biological father took her in his home, from what I know he is good guy, very well educated, with good job. After year or two they got second kid. At some point this man got the truth again - the second kid is not from him. Probably they had hard time after that but this is not my job.
This is the past. You can blame me because I look stupid when we check the facts. It is true and I do feel bad because of that.
But this past can not change me believes, we human can be good. Men or women, we deserve to be happy and to work for that. I do not hate my ex for what she did, this is her choice. Also this event is not able to change my believe that there are good girls out there.
Hi Mario,

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. My goodness, it certainly sounds like you've been through a lot.

In your post, you said, "You can blame me because I look stupid" -- no, not at all, because every one of us has made wrong decisions in our lives and we are all trying our best to seek God and do better.

I greatly admire you for not letting these terrible experiences affect your general thinking towards women -- thank you for not thinking that all women are like your ex, and that there are still good women out there.

May I ask, are you part of a home church at all?

I would just like to suggest that you might want to take some time to spend with God your church family while recovering from these past few years.

I'm sure all of this has taken a toll on you both emotionally and spiritually, as it would on anyone, and only God can heal and restore your heart.

I wish you all the best as you continue on in following God's direction in your life, and please keep us posted on how it goes. :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,686
9,618
113
i am not here for anyone to agree with me i understand no one wants to exposed to reality, i saw a thread then i posted that's it i can tell you guys are quite nasty and just all around asses, so ill go i know where i am not wanted and one of you probably a foid will cry to the mods about me.
I had to dig for what a foid is, but I found it!

Foid: Short for "femoid," an insult incels commonly use. A foid is an unintelligent woman, or a militant feminist who hates men but is constantly looking for a man to mooch off of.

Sorry, we don't have any of those here. At least I don't think we do. We DO have a few MGTOW guys though.

Maybe the foids have better things to do?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
I had to dig for what a foid is, but I found it!

Foid: Short for "femoid," an insult incels commonly use. A foid is an unintelligent woman, or a militant feminist who hates men but is constantly looking for a man to mooch off of.

Sorry, we don't have any of those here. At least I don't think we do. We DO have a few MGTOW guys though.

Maybe the foids have better things to do?
So what about those intelligent women who don't want to mooch off men? Can we get a cool made up name for them too?

So sounds like his use of that word just proves what camp his thoughts are coming from.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
827
239
43
I had to dig for what a foid is, but I found it!

Foid: Short for "femoid," an insult incels commonly use. A foid is an unintelligent woman, or a militant feminist who hates men but is constantly looking for a man to mooch off of.

Sorry, we don't have any of those here. At least I don't think we do. We DO have a few MGTOW guys though.

Maybe the foids have better things to do?
Fold...

Good catch. I thought that was a typo. LOL

I thought he meant to say, "One of you probably TOLD and will cry to the mods about me.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
42 is still young for me
Yes it is, and yes you are! I'm rather dashing at the age of 54, if I must say so myself! (and I did) :D

For people who plan on living forever in Gloryland, we are all very young, and our best days are ahead, not behind! (y)

We all have reason to rejoice. Our future is sooooooooooo bright! :cool: