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P
NW2U
the flesh lives selfishly , the spirit lives lovingly.... The baby was African American...He was caucasion .. when He laud His eyes on the baby boy... all He saw was He had a son .... he loved his wife more than her sin... Exactly what Jesus did
It was a beautiful story and one I will never forget... Makes
Me think of how much God has lived me in mine...
Peace
the flesh lives selfishly , the spirit lives lovingly.... The baby was African American...He was caucasion .. when He laud His eyes on the baby boy... all He saw was He had a son .... he loved his wife more than her sin... Exactly what Jesus did
It was a beautiful story and one I will never forget... Makes
Me think of how much God has lived me in mine...
Peace
D
NW2U
the flesh lives selfishly , the spirit lives lovingly.... The baby was African American...He was caucasion .. when He laud His eyes on the baby boy... all He saw was He had a son .... he loved his wife more than her sin... Exactly what Jesus did
It was a beautiful story and one I will never forget... Makes
Me think of how much God has lived me in mine...
Peace
the flesh lives selfishly , the spirit lives lovingly.... The baby was African American...He was caucasion .. when He laud His eyes on the baby boy... all He saw was He had a son .... he loved his wife more than her sin... Exactly what Jesus did
It was a beautiful story and one I will never forget... Makes
Me think of how much God has lived me in mine...
Peace
I fail to see how this is a beautiful story. You look at it as beautiful because you are the woman. Imagine if you married a man who cheated on you, and who impregnated his mistress? Would you be so accepting, or would you be like Sarah and Hagar? Think about that for a second. I highly disagree that this man did exactly the right thing, and to act like someone who doesn't agree with this is a sinner of the flesh is simply wrong.
And DaBears is completely right. Maybe the wife thought it was sweet, but I could never be with a woman who cheats, nor have respect for a man that doesn't care when his wife does. THe other man is probably just laughing to himself about how this sucker is now spending his hard-earned cash raising this kid that isnt his.
H
i haven't read all the comments, but just a few things came to my mind....
1 many single mothers with children have a backstory that you may not bother to ask about. I am a single mother but I was raped and kept my child, and love him to death
2 if you find a good chritian woman you won't get many of the things you said you would before marriage that takes away your meaning for marriage - sex, moving in together etc
3 not to be offensive, but it sounds like you are stereotyping women to be golddiggers or women who only want money and a leash for their partners.
many women are not like this. granted they are few compared to the populations total, but they are out there. and yes, some women break off relationships for no reason, however some stay through horrid relationships because they are loyal or hope for better outcomes through faith.
please dont act like those women don't exist.
1 many single mothers with children have a backstory that you may not bother to ask about. I am a single mother but I was raped and kept my child, and love him to death
2 if you find a good chritian woman you won't get many of the things you said you would before marriage that takes away your meaning for marriage - sex, moving in together etc
3 not to be offensive, but it sounds like you are stereotyping women to be golddiggers or women who only want money and a leash for their partners.
many women are not like this. granted they are few compared to the populations total, but they are out there. and yes, some women break off relationships for no reason, however some stay through horrid relationships because they are loyal or hope for better outcomes through faith.
please dont act like those women don't exist.
H
also nautilus, not to say that there isn't anyone out there indefinitely, but you might want to examine your expextations. try to keep in mind that many women have tried to live godly lives but due to the sin of this orld they are imperfect and may have succumb to temptation before, or been overcome by another's temptation. no one is perfect. and a persons life is never ONLY their choice because everyone's life involves other people nd being effected by their choices. (that doesnty excuse everyone or ti say no one has personal responsibility for their life, but ome instances have to be thought about more in depth, and examined deeper than surface level)
J
I couldn't agree more that it takes more than love to build a lasting marriage. I also agree that committed couples should be able to trust one another to the point that they can talk about anything and everything before they marry. If they don't, that won't magically change after wedding vows are spoken.
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Crashing gong, clanging cymbal types of people, perhaps?
Agreed wholeheartedly. I wasn't suggesting that someone should just pick a random person to marry.
I'm trying to think of something that's important to a marriage that doesn't qualify as love. Trust, selflessness, every little thing I can think of... comes back to love. Not passionate love, but the real, lasting kind.
Agreed wholeheartedly. I wasn't suggesting that someone should just pick a random person to marry.
I'm trying to think of something that's important to a marriage that doesn't qualify as love. Trust, selflessness, every little thing I can think of... comes back to love. Not passionate love, but the real, lasting kind.
D
The real problem with love, at least on the human sense, is that everything about it is conditional. Literally, every single thing about human love has conditions. God is clearly different, since it doesn't matter how much we sin, it doesn't matter if we refuse Him, because He will still love us unconditionally. Human love is not the same, and it never ever will be. That changed the minute Adam and Eve ate from the tree and got kicked out of Eden.
Name me anything you mentioned that isn't conditional. Trust... would you trust someone that cheated on you? Trust is destroyed after that, and trust isn't something you earn. It is something you can only lose, and so therefore, once someone breaks your trust, it is practically gone forever, despite if you forgive them or not. Selflessness... that is another aspect of human nature that just doesn't fit. Nobody is truly selfless, and nobody has ever been truly selfless beyond Jesus. You simply wont find it, because it doesn't truly exist. People who are selfless for another do it for a reason. If I have a wife that I love, I would die for her, but explain to me why I would die for her again? It is because I love her, but beyond that, she is my wife. If she died, I lose someone close and precious to me. Not many people would die for random strangers. Even people that would die for Christ, they do so with the knowledge that they will be rewarded in heaven. It is never unconditional. If Jesus said that if you die for Him, you will go to hell, nobody in their right minds would die for Him. Think of it in those terms, and you'll see what I mean.
Human love is never the full answer for anything, because it always has reasons and boundaries and conditions that have to be met first, and those conditions may change over time, but they still all have to be met for someone to stay in love.
Name me anything you mentioned that isn't conditional. Trust... would you trust someone that cheated on you? Trust is destroyed after that, and trust isn't something you earn. It is something you can only lose, and so therefore, once someone breaks your trust, it is practically gone forever, despite if you forgive them or not. Selflessness... that is another aspect of human nature that just doesn't fit. Nobody is truly selfless, and nobody has ever been truly selfless beyond Jesus. You simply wont find it, because it doesn't truly exist. People who are selfless for another do it for a reason. If I have a wife that I love, I would die for her, but explain to me why I would die for her again? It is because I love her, but beyond that, she is my wife. If she died, I lose someone close and precious to me. Not many people would die for random strangers. Even people that would die for Christ, they do so with the knowledge that they will be rewarded in heaven. It is never unconditional. If Jesus said that if you die for Him, you will go to hell, nobody in their right minds would die for Him. Think of it in those terms, and you'll see what I mean.
Human love is never the full answer for anything, because it always has reasons and boundaries and conditions that have to be met first, and those conditions may change over time, but they still all have to be met for someone to stay in love.
H
Everything is condition on human love, and trust can be easily destroyhed but hard to build up, but it doesnt mean that there isnt anyone out there that is worthy of your love, trust, compassion, admiration etc. true, we need to be weary, but it doesnt mean they dont exist. forgive me, but somethin i noticed again is that your expectations seem to be for a very christian, biblical, morally upstanding female right? and it strikes me that while looking for this female, your argument is that marriage isnt needed bc u can move in, have (pre-marital) sex and all the other things included in marriage....but if u are wondering what is left for a marriage then why not abstain from all that and LET IT WAIT.?...
D
While this is obviously a preference, I don't think this is my expectation whatsoever. Honestly, my expectations have drastically gone in the gutter, based on my relationships of the past. I don't expect women to be anything other than what they are, but I think most women refuse to change their mindsets on if what they are is acceptable or not. Clearly, women being who they are has led to divorce rates being astronomically high. Women have blamed men for decades now, but it just simply doesn't hold water anymore. Women always said men were the dogs, they were the cheaters, they were the abusers, etc. I don't think that statement is true any longer, because at the very least, women do it at an equal scale, and I'd be more than willing to bet that women do it far more than men in this day and age. It just simply is how it is, and while I'm sure some women will go up in arms with that statement, I simply see the world outside with my own eyes. I know what I see, and while there are plenty of douchebag men in the world, most women tend to prefer those types, so that's their own faults.
If you ask me what I expect, you'll be asking the wrong question, because my expectations of what she will do is more or less based on what the majority of women tend to do. If I marry someone, I expect them to simply be faithful, loving, and supportive. That isn't very much to ask, but so few women ever follow those guidelines.
If you want my honest opinion on what I see, it is based on what almost every man my age sees. It depends on the guy, and while I'm a nice guy, I don't finish last. I've been in plenty of relationships, but I know what I'm talking about here, as I've made plenty of mistakes myself. Also, I am a Christian man, so I understand and feel justified in speaking for the nice guys here. Women all chase the bad boys. They want the Jersey Shore type of guys when they are young, because they think this is sexy and attractive. Basically, they want the typical alpha male types. Well, alpha males tend to be assholes, but beyond that, they are known to date around. You can't change a man, but every women thinks she will get her perfect alpha male and change him into some meek, mild househusband. It won't work, and it never works. In the end, you have a billion single mothers in the world, who have all chased the same things in life, and have mostly rejected the guys that would have been good for them. After they get older, used and abused, and they have children with no father, they then search out for the good guy, who tends to end up being more financially stable, responsible, and emotionally mature. Those guys are usually the nice guys who they rejected in the first place, and then those guys see these women and say, "why do you want me now?" If they are stupid enough to marry those women, they then get divorced and lose everything they worked so hard in their lives to gain. They also get to pay for child-support now for the child they adopted, one that was never theirs to begin with. Women do this all the time, and it's frankly just sickening.
Beyond that, even if the woman does stay, how is it these nice guy's responsibility to take care of another man's child, simply because women were too stupid to either a) wear protection b) wait till marriage or c) not date douchebags who would leave them once they got them pregnant? I know not all single mothers are in this category, so don't crucify me here for giving such a general statement, but my point remains the same. I know a LOT of women who tried purposely to get pregnant (and they succeeded) to trap these men into relationships, and they all cried foul when these men left them for it. What did they honestly expect? You can't trap someone in a relationship and think they will stay and remain happy forever. In the same respect, you can't chase the alpha males all your early lives, be used and abused, and then all of a sudden chase the nice guys later in life, after your beauty and fertility has faded. There's a specific problem with women who do this, and it is a rampant thing everywhere.
In my honest opinion, young women simply don't have the ability to choose the right type of guys, because they go for all the wrong things, in the same way that men who only date women for breast and waist sizes tend to get hurt. We all chase the wrong things in our early life, and yet women are the ones who pay the consequences for it. I am lucky that I was never so stupid as to get an ex girlfriend pregnant, but if I did, I would have taken responsibility for it. It is just sad to see so many women not realizing what matters in relationships, and so by the time they do, they have lost their beauty, their fertility, and their innocence and men who would have treated them right are now used as replacement fathers for the children they have from another man. I just don't like it, I think it is wrong, and I think women's rights movements spawned it. Instead of people getting married and staying that way, women search around like men do, but men don't get pregnant. Women also always are the ones to end relationships, be it just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, to being a full-fledged marriage. Women are almost always the ones to break things off with their men, so this obviously means that women are giving up, rather than working on fixing things. I am speaking generally here again, but it becomes pretty clear to me that women always think the grass is greener on the other side, and they expect men to fix everything in relationships, as if everything is one man's burden and the woman is just a figurehead. It isn't like that, but I can't count how many times I've experienced things exactly the same way.
Basically, I find it extremely ironic the poster that posted how "beautiful" the story was about the man who forgave his wife for cheating on his with another man, who never told her husband about this, and then the husband picked up the baby (which was another ethnicity) and he never even said a word about it. That is beautiful? How ironic that statement is, based on everything men have said in this thread. Women want their cake and to eat it too. Where is the responsibility? When do women gain that? How is it beautiful to be forgiven for doing something so absolutely disrespectful to your husband, that I literally cannot think of something worse beyond being murdered? Cheating is the most disrespectful thing possible, and to not acknowledge the consequences and to expect a man to just forgive and forget.... REALLY? It just blows my mind that this was seen as beautiful. I find it sickening, and I also find it tragically prophetic of what's really going on in the real world. I find it exactly what men now expect to happen to them in marriage.
I'm sure I'll be crucified for posting this here, because no one ever likes to admit general statements into being factual on any level, and also it is basically putting blame on an entire gender. I understand the implications, and I realize that men are wrong too, but it it simply how I see it as a man. I'm sure women see it differently as well, but please explain to me why divorce rates are so high ever since the sexual revolution, and also, beyond just blaming Moses (since we are clearly in a more advanced society), please explain to me why women are almost always the initiators of divorce... or any breakup really.
Why is it that men my age view things this way to begin with? Does this not give a huge red flag? I'm clearly not alone in this thinking, so explain to me why I think this way to begin with, if this wasn't a very real problem? I'm not just pulling these ideas out of nowhere. Marriage has become something far less than it ever was intended to be, yet I don't see either side working much to fix it.
If you ask me what I expect, you'll be asking the wrong question, because my expectations of what she will do is more or less based on what the majority of women tend to do. If I marry someone, I expect them to simply be faithful, loving, and supportive. That isn't very much to ask, but so few women ever follow those guidelines.
If you want my honest opinion on what I see, it is based on what almost every man my age sees. It depends on the guy, and while I'm a nice guy, I don't finish last. I've been in plenty of relationships, but I know what I'm talking about here, as I've made plenty of mistakes myself. Also, I am a Christian man, so I understand and feel justified in speaking for the nice guys here. Women all chase the bad boys. They want the Jersey Shore type of guys when they are young, because they think this is sexy and attractive. Basically, they want the typical alpha male types. Well, alpha males tend to be assholes, but beyond that, they are known to date around. You can't change a man, but every women thinks she will get her perfect alpha male and change him into some meek, mild househusband. It won't work, and it never works. In the end, you have a billion single mothers in the world, who have all chased the same things in life, and have mostly rejected the guys that would have been good for them. After they get older, used and abused, and they have children with no father, they then search out for the good guy, who tends to end up being more financially stable, responsible, and emotionally mature. Those guys are usually the nice guys who they rejected in the first place, and then those guys see these women and say, "why do you want me now?" If they are stupid enough to marry those women, they then get divorced and lose everything they worked so hard in their lives to gain. They also get to pay for child-support now for the child they adopted, one that was never theirs to begin with. Women do this all the time, and it's frankly just sickening.
Beyond that, even if the woman does stay, how is it these nice guy's responsibility to take care of another man's child, simply because women were too stupid to either a) wear protection b) wait till marriage or c) not date douchebags who would leave them once they got them pregnant? I know not all single mothers are in this category, so don't crucify me here for giving such a general statement, but my point remains the same. I know a LOT of women who tried purposely to get pregnant (and they succeeded) to trap these men into relationships, and they all cried foul when these men left them for it. What did they honestly expect? You can't trap someone in a relationship and think they will stay and remain happy forever. In the same respect, you can't chase the alpha males all your early lives, be used and abused, and then all of a sudden chase the nice guys later in life, after your beauty and fertility has faded. There's a specific problem with women who do this, and it is a rampant thing everywhere.
In my honest opinion, young women simply don't have the ability to choose the right type of guys, because they go for all the wrong things, in the same way that men who only date women for breast and waist sizes tend to get hurt. We all chase the wrong things in our early life, and yet women are the ones who pay the consequences for it. I am lucky that I was never so stupid as to get an ex girlfriend pregnant, but if I did, I would have taken responsibility for it. It is just sad to see so many women not realizing what matters in relationships, and so by the time they do, they have lost their beauty, their fertility, and their innocence and men who would have treated them right are now used as replacement fathers for the children they have from another man. I just don't like it, I think it is wrong, and I think women's rights movements spawned it. Instead of people getting married and staying that way, women search around like men do, but men don't get pregnant. Women also always are the ones to end relationships, be it just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, to being a full-fledged marriage. Women are almost always the ones to break things off with their men, so this obviously means that women are giving up, rather than working on fixing things. I am speaking generally here again, but it becomes pretty clear to me that women always think the grass is greener on the other side, and they expect men to fix everything in relationships, as if everything is one man's burden and the woman is just a figurehead. It isn't like that, but I can't count how many times I've experienced things exactly the same way.
Basically, I find it extremely ironic the poster that posted how "beautiful" the story was about the man who forgave his wife for cheating on his with another man, who never told her husband about this, and then the husband picked up the baby (which was another ethnicity) and he never even said a word about it. That is beautiful? How ironic that statement is, based on everything men have said in this thread. Women want their cake and to eat it too. Where is the responsibility? When do women gain that? How is it beautiful to be forgiven for doing something so absolutely disrespectful to your husband, that I literally cannot think of something worse beyond being murdered? Cheating is the most disrespectful thing possible, and to not acknowledge the consequences and to expect a man to just forgive and forget.... REALLY? It just blows my mind that this was seen as beautiful. I find it sickening, and I also find it tragically prophetic of what's really going on in the real world. I find it exactly what men now expect to happen to them in marriage.
I'm sure I'll be crucified for posting this here, because no one ever likes to admit general statements into being factual on any level, and also it is basically putting blame on an entire gender. I understand the implications, and I realize that men are wrong too, but it it simply how I see it as a man. I'm sure women see it differently as well, but please explain to me why divorce rates are so high ever since the sexual revolution, and also, beyond just blaming Moses (since we are clearly in a more advanced society), please explain to me why women are almost always the initiators of divorce... or any breakup really.
Why is it that men my age view things this way to begin with? Does this not give a huge red flag? I'm clearly not alone in this thinking, so explain to me why I think this way to begin with, if this wasn't a very real problem? I'm not just pulling these ideas out of nowhere. Marriage has become something far less than it ever was intended to be, yet I don't see either side working much to fix it.
L
You know... I don't have plans on divorcing my husband if he cheats on me. I believe marriage is a covenant, and if he wants to walk away that is fine, but I will be on my knees praying. Not that I have to worry about him cheating, because my plan is to marry the best of the best. I'm just saying if he did, my heart is not to divorce him. As for women dating the bad boys, I'm not attracted to the bad boys, I think they are insecure immature men. I didn't date anyone while in college or after, because I've been waiting for God's best. I totally get where you're coming from because I think the feminist movement messed a lot of things up, but you shouldn't generalize. There are good women out there. You men are in my prayers, may God grant you the desires of your hearts.
R
This thread leaves a bad taste in my mouth....yet I can't keep away from it. It's like watching a scary movie. You don't wanna look, but you can't help it, lol.
....I don't see why someone needs to repeatedly drag politics into it if they are looking for that one special person. You aren't considering marrying the whole world.....
Why does it need to be a battle of the sexes? Why do all the problems in this/that society have to be all one gender's fault? Can't we just be equally to blame (in different ways) for the issues in society and work on solutions instead?
....I don't see why someone needs to repeatedly drag politics into it if they are looking for that one special person. You aren't considering marrying the whole world.....
Why does it need to be a battle of the sexes? Why do all the problems in this/that society have to be all one gender's fault? Can't we just be equally to blame (in different ways) for the issues in society and work on solutions instead?