Thank you. I
Thank you for your input. I acknowledged all of this already. God bless
Thank you for your input. I acknowledged all of this already. God bless
It seemed to me you needed to be thoroughly convinced, and that the others who replied had not. You think you need prayer to get through it and past it, but my point was that you haven't died to yourself fully. Why else would you be holding onto this emotional tie? You have power over your own emotions, at least you're supposed to gain that as a Christian through your walk with Christ. You can choose to let him go for good and repent to God for falling (not fully, I know) for this temptation from the devil which still has a hold on you. You should be feeling remorse for sinning against God through following your fleshly desires instead of His desires. I see you are not very open to what I have to say, you probably view it as criticism like you mentioned in your post. But, this is not criticism. It's teaching from experience.
Don't miss the importance though, it looks like you're repenting to yourself and not truly to God because you haven't died to yourself in this heart area. Otherwise you wouldn't have an emotional stronghold going on. You'd look at this dalliance and think, "Oh, God what a fool I was, I'm sorry. I want nothing to do with him." Not, "I still am a little bummed about it."
Again, this is also from personal experience. There was a time I felt the same as you for a different man after divorcing my husband, who was also bearing bad fruit. It wasn't until I changed my heart to, "Wow, God it's because of you why I should be feeling bad right now. I shouldn't be missing this guy and having any emotional connection. I was being disobedient and following my own evil heart."
That is when my own emotional stronghold was broken. Unless you get to that point of making it all about God and not all about you, you'll never get past that stronghold. And you will most likely repeat this pattern! Everything in our walk is about denying ourselves, and unless you do it wholeheartedly, you will keep falling into sin and never reaching the great blessing God has in store for you in His time.
If you don't learn from other people's mistakes you will just end up learning through your own repeated mistakes. I'd rather learn from others than living through repeated failures. Been there, done that.