Met a guy online....need advice

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Oct 13, 2018
5
2
3
USA
#41
Thank you. I


Thank you for your input. I acknowledged all of this already. God bless
From what I read, yes and no. You said you ended it with him but were still in an emotional stronghold and wanted prayer. If you truly acknowledged his sinfulness and what kind of good man God has in store for you later, then I don't think you'd be 'looking back' so to speak. That emotional stronghold would be broken.

It seemed to me you needed to be thoroughly convinced, and that the others who replied had not. You think you need prayer to get through it and past it, but my point was that you haven't died to yourself fully. Why else would you be holding onto this emotional tie? You have power over your own emotions, at least you're supposed to gain that as a Christian through your walk with Christ. You can choose to let him go for good and repent to God for falling (not fully, I know) for this temptation from the devil which still has a hold on you. You should be feeling remorse for sinning against God through following your fleshly desires instead of His desires. I see you are not very open to what I have to say, you probably view it as criticism like you mentioned in your post. But, this is not criticism. It's teaching from experience.

Don't miss the importance though, it looks like you're repenting to yourself and not truly to God because you haven't died to yourself in this heart area. Otherwise you wouldn't have an emotional stronghold going on. You'd look at this dalliance and think, "Oh, God what a fool I was, I'm sorry. I want nothing to do with him." Not, "I still am a little bummed about it."

Again, this is also from personal experience. There was a time I felt the same as you for a different man after divorcing my husband, who was also bearing bad fruit. It wasn't until I changed my heart to, "Wow, God it's because of you why I should be feeling bad right now. I shouldn't be missing this guy and having any emotional connection. I was being disobedient and following my own evil heart."

That is when my own emotional stronghold was broken. Unless you get to that point of making it all about God and not all about you, you'll never get past that stronghold. And you will most likely repeat this pattern! Everything in our walk is about denying ourselves, and unless you do it wholeheartedly, you will keep falling into sin and never reaching the great blessing God has in store for you in His time.

If you don't learn from other people's mistakes you will just end up learning through your own repeated mistakes. I'd rather learn from others than living through repeated failures. Been there, done that.
 
Oct 13, 2018
5
2
3
USA
#42
Thank you for your input. I acknowledged all of this already. God bless
I initially misread your post and thought you said you were still meeting him for New Years. So, my first reply would have basically just been what my second reply was to you.
 

sbcAdam1

New member
Nov 11, 2018
8
15
3
#43
I would not pursue a relationship at this time. You have listed multiple concerns and rightly so. It is easier for me to say this looking from the outside. I applaud your willingness to ask for advice. Christ must come first in your life and in his. After that is when you pursue a relationship otherwise it will not work. Do not let your emotions take control. God gave you a beautiful mind to use. Who knows what God may have for you!

Blessings
 
Jul 29, 2018
55
45
18
43
NYC, NY
#44
From what I read, yes and no. You said you ended it with him but were still in an emotional stronghold and wanted prayer. If you truly acknowledged his sinfulness and what kind of good man God has in store for you later, then I don't think you'd be 'looking back' so to speak. That emotional stronghold would be broken.

It seemed to me you needed to be thoroughly convinced, and that the others who replied had not. You think you need prayer to get through it and past it, but my point was that you haven't died to yourself fully. Why else would you be holding onto this emotional tie? You have power over your own emotions, at least you're supposed to gain that as a Christian through your walk with Christ. You can choose to let him go for good and repent to God for falling (not fully, I know) for this temptation from the devil which still has a hold on you. You should be feeling remorse for sinning against God through following your fleshly desires instead of His desires. I see you are not very open to what I have to say, you probably view it as criticism like you mentioned in your post. But, this is not criticism. It's teaching from experience.

Don't miss the importance though, it looks like you're repenting to yourself and not truly to God because you haven't died to yourself in this heart area. Otherwise you wouldn't have an emotional stronghold going on. You'd look at this dalliance and think, "Oh, God what a fool I was, I'm sorry. I want nothing to do with him." Not, "I still am a little bummed about it."

Again, this is also from personal experience. There was a time I felt the same as you for a different man after divorcing my husband, who was also bearing bad fruit. It wasn't until I changed my heart to, "Wow, God it's because of you why I should be feeling bad right now. I shouldn't be missing this guy and having any emotional connection. I was being disobedient and following my own evil heart."

That is when my own emotional stronghold was broken. Unless you get to that point of making it all about God and not all about you, you'll never get past that stronghold. And you will most likely repeat this pattern! Everything in our walk is about denying ourselves, and unless you do it wholeheartedly, you will keep falling into sin and never reaching the great blessing God has in store for you in His time.

If you don't learn from other people's mistakes you will just end up learning through your own repeated mistakes. I'd rather learn from others than living through repeated failures. Been there, done that.
Thanks
 
Jul 29, 2018
55
45
18
43
NYC, NY
#45
From what I read, yes and no. You said you ended it with him but were still in an emotional stronghold and wanted prayer. If you truly acknowledged his sinfulness and what kind of good man God has in store for you later, then I don't think you'd be 'looking back' so to speak. That emotional stronghold would be broken.

It seemed to me you needed to be thoroughly convinced, and that the others who replied had not. You think you need prayer to get through it and past it, but my point was that you haven't died to yourself fully. Why else would you be holding onto this emotional tie? You have power over your own emotions, at least you're supposed to gain that as a Christian through your walk with Christ. You can choose to let him go for good and repent to God for falling (not fully, I know) for this temptation from the devil which still has a hold on you. You should be feeling remorse for sinning against God through following your fleshly desires instead of His desires. I see you are not very open to what I have to say, you probably view it as criticism like you mentioned in your post. But, this is not criticism. It's teaching from experience.

Don't miss the importance though, it looks like you're repenting to yourself and not truly to God because you haven't died to yourself in this heart area. Otherwise you wouldn't have an emotional stronghold going on. You'd look at this dalliance and think, "Oh, God what a fool I was, I'm sorry. I want nothing to do with him." Not, "I still am a little bummed about it."

Again, this is also from personal experience. There was a time I felt the same as you for a different man after divorcing my husband, who was also bearing bad fruit. It wasn't until I changed my heart to, "Wow, God it's because of you why I should be feeling bad right now. I shouldn't be missing this guy and having any emotional connection. I was being disobedient and following my own evil heart."

That is when my own emotional stronghold was broken. Unless you get to that point of making it all about God and not all about you, you'll never get past that stronghold. And you will most likely repeat this pattern! Everything in our walk is about denying ourselves, and unless you do it wholeheartedly, you will keep falling into sin and never reaching the great blessing God has in store for you in His time.

If you don't learn from other people's mistakes you will just end up learning through your own repeated mistakes. I'd rather learn from others than living through repeated failures. Been there, done that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for prayers. I acknowledged that I did make a mistake. That I did open myself up to this stronghold. But, it was my mistake to make. I thank God that he made me aware of it before I even met this guy in person. So now I'm just asking some fellow believers to help me pray. That's what we are all called to do for each other isn't it? This is warfare. I'm well aware of it. And the enemy tried to get me. He had me distracted for a while. But the Lord opened my eyes to run away. Am I still hurt? Yes! I'm human. Im hurt because I put my heart in it. But I know with prayer God is able to heal me. So again, thanks.
 

cwizzle07

Active member
Jan 18, 2019
184
165
43
41
#46
I would suggest you do not go alone, and NOT in a private place...........Double date maybe, or Church function, or some such.........BE SURE it's in a Public setting.........

Nothing wrong with prudence
"Nothing wrong with prudence" It's reassuring to see men that think like this. :)
 
Dec 29, 2018
74
40
18
#47
I met a sweet guy who I really like. We met on a Christian dating site. At first I have to admit I wasn't into him. He's not the type of guy I would date/ see myself with. But I wanted to give him/us a chance. We haven't been on a first date yet
We've been chatting. I notice things about him when we chat. The conversation tends to go in a more sexual direction. I fell for it a couple of times. I got pulled in and felt so convicted within. But he doesn't seem to be bothered by it. I see this as a red flag. Maybe I shouldn't pursue a relationship with him. Plus he's into a lot of things that as Christians, I don't think we should do. Like yoga. He doesn't go to church often. He seems to be more into putting himself first (jogging, hiking on a Sunday morning when he should be in church worshipping the Lord). I told him how I felt today about it and he totally brushed me off. He keeps saying he is a Christian. But if we don't see the fruit being produced. He admitted he doesn't read the bible as much. I don't know.....should I run? I know my duty is to pray for those who are lost. Which I am. I don't know if I should continue seeing him or let it go. I really like him. I know I can't change him. Only God can change the human heart. Need advice

What's the color of a red flag again? RUN!