Midnight Confessions

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Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
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#21
I'm a smoker too (Though I don't view it as a negative thing, like it's definitely not something I'm ashamed of). I use cuss words liberally (but not like a sailor) in general conversation with my friends and don't have a problem with it. Some of you that talk to me offline know that, lol.

I'm really flirty and I do it constantly with every pretty person I see. I have friends that are not christian (any have had many relationships with non-christians) and I don't look at them any differently than my Christian brethren. Like there is no concept of (Negative brownie points because they aren't believers, I think differently when it comes to the term "unequally yolked" than most of you do. It still has meaning to me, but not the same way most people like to use it).

I'm generous to a fault, but when I treat someone well and they want to treat me like dirt continuously over and over and think they can use me as a doormat.....I confront them about it. If they do not at least acknowledge they are being disrespectful and make no effort to reason with me or make amends, I shun them. I strive to be compassionate to every one but I do reserve a measure of self-respect to myself.

I personally don't think any of these are negative, I have no desire to change it at all. I only bring these things up because they are generally considered to be "bad behaviors" in the general Christian atmosphere. I don't use cuss words on CC because it's not an appropriate place to do so and I know people will get offended for example, but I have no problems being honest about the way I really am offline when I'm hanging out with people I'm close to.

I could go into a big tirade of things I've done in the past that were wrong, but these are things I have long repented of and been forgiven for.....and if I were to list all my sins, it would be too long to post. I'd have to make a seperate thread and it would be like 10 pages long. lol. I think we all have pretty big lists when it comes to things like that, if your counting everything you have ever done chronologically.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#22
Donkeyfish07
That was a very honest appraisal of yourself, that is a quality, honesty, that I sincerely appreciate in a person. You are not so bad! Neither am I.
 

Pietman

Junior Member
May 12, 2014
4
1
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#23
Hey, it's pretty cool that you can be so open about all of your faults and not let it condemn you. What do you consider as unequally yoked?
 

Pietman

Junior Member
May 12, 2014
4
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#24
You can't admit that smoking is a good thing either. The only way you can deal with it, is to see it in the light of Christ's redemption. If it's bad for you, then that is exactly what Christ has come to redeem you from. If we remain in denial of the things which are actually evil, then grace has no hope of touching your life, because with pride and contention there is every evil work. Proverbs 12:15-16 - The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame. James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. It is our selfishness that causes us to sin and we don't always realize that life is not always about us and what we want, because our sin hurts our neighbour, and more importantly, it hurts God. Now, I'm not saying that your sin has the capacity to separate you completely from God, as long as you are seeking His' will and live a life of repentance, but it will open a door for Satan into your life and there is the possibility that you may throw away your salvation if your heart becomes so hard that you don't care anymore, at all. Remember that we are getting closer to Jesus' second coming and this means that stuff will start happening around the world, and, Jesus said people's hearts will become hardened, because the love of many will grow cold. God's wishes for you is only the best He has to offer. Don't settle for anything less my blessed Brother!
 

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
66
0
#25
Hey, it's pretty cool that you can be so open about all of your faults and not let it condemn you. What do you consider as unequally yoked?
I'll send you a PM on that, I started to answer here but that's dangerously close to turning this into a bible discussion like forum thread (If you pop your head over there occasionally, you'll see it gets CRAZY in there).
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#26
I'll send you a PM on that, I started to answer here but that's dangerously close to turning this into a bible discussion like forum thread (If you pop your head over there occasionally, you'll see it gets CRAZY in there).
It is a war zone in that forum. My kind of place. My accomplishment today that I hope to achieve is to empty my ashtray.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#27
Today I confess that I have been quite lax on actually reading the Word of God on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. I have relied on what was previously put in the tank for later use. I am running on fumes. My GPS system is not working properly either.
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#28
Hey Donkeyfish and Tourist. Thing is, I've come to like you two guys in particular just reading your posts and so on, and I know I'm preaching to the choir a little and I'm the least - the least - of these thy brothers to point out sins or cast stones, especially given how concerned I am with my own book of life, but let me just warn you once more that smoking is..... an atrocity. I don't even know where to start and won't, but smoking is a horrible way to transmit nicotine to your bloodstream. I'd rather you inject it. I even worked for a time in the tobacco industry and if you think Slim Jim's with a shelf life of 10 years has additives (sorry Pipp), check out the content of a Marlboro.

You know all this - but I care for you guys and would not wish a cancer or breathing related sickness on either of you and I've witnessed 3 people I cared for die choking and drowning in their own phlegm. It's violent and vicious and unforgiving and one of the 3 looked at me with fading, pleading eyes and said that if I was going to pray to pray this was over with.

It wasn't over with. Not for some time. OK - i'm done. Just had to get that off my chest.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#29
kenhomas27 I sincerely appreciate your concern. Smoking is a horrible practice. I am an addict, I am not in denial in that I know that it is wrong to integrate a bad practice a body that was meant to be a temple of God. Thank you. I enjoy your posts as well. It is a struggle down here on earth and I pray for Jesus to come soon but until that day we must fight the good fight. I must have a screw loose or something close to that effect as I keep doing what is harmful for me. I believe that I am selfish in that regard as well.
 
Apr 15, 2014
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#30
Was going to list a bunch of stuff but I think it'd be too much.

I will say one is that I can be a bit vengeful towards those I call 'enemies'. Especially if they're around, one can't help but to feel that type of anger even if you're wanting to forgive them... I just can't bring myself to do that.
 

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
66
0
#31
Was going to list a bunch of stuff but I think it'd be too much.

I will say one is that I can be a bit vengeful towards those I call 'enemies'. Especially if they're around, one can't help but to feel that type of anger even if you're wanting to forgive them... I just can't bring myself to do that.
It takes a lot of practice. That used to be my greatest weakness, now it's my greatest strength. I was the type of person who used to be willing to escalate any situation where someone wanted to get negative with me. For Example: "You want to threaten to do something to me because your not getting your way? Guess what, I'll actually do something 10 times worse to you with out warning and then I'll dare you to do something back. We'll see where this goes. I will take this as far as you want to go. You just messed with the wrong person.".

There is no love, mercy, or forgiveness in that type of thinking. It took me a long time to get over it but I asked God to give me a new heart and increase my capacity for love when I got saved, and he did. The kingdom of heaven really is like a mustard seed. Such a small and unassuming thing at first but if you let it grow, WoW. Your mind will be blown when you look back and see how much God's word has changed you for the better.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#32
I'm sort of a boring person, but here goes. I do swear sometimes, I try not to, but it just comes out. I love sauerkraut, but would rather just eat it by itself, no Ruben, I don't like those. I have a temper at times. I can be lazy, I don't do well in heat and it can make me very crabby.

I don't smoke and never was a regular smoker but when I'm stressed I want a cigarette. I don't know why, I don't go for it and smoke, I don't like the smell and my Husband would probably have a cow if I smoked. So no smoking.

I chew tobacco and drink whisky from the bottle, OK that's not true.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
73
48
#33
I'm sort of a boring person, but here goes. I doo swear sometimes, I try not to, but it just comes out. I love sauerkraut, but would rather just eat it by itself, no Ruben, I don't like those. I have a temper at times. I can be lazy, I don't do well in heat and it can make me very crabby.

I don't smoke and never was a regular smoker but when I'm stressed I want a cigarette. I don't know why, I don't go for it and smoke, I don't like the smell and my Husband would probably have a cow if I smoked. So no smoking.

I chew tobacco and drink whisky from the bottle, OK that's not true.
Fenner, I see you as more refined than that. I'm sure you drink your whiskey from a teacup, with your pinky up...like a true lady.
 

MissCris

Senior Member
Aug 24, 2011
6,600
258
83
#34
I don't do self-control very well. If I want something, I usually get it- be it food, objects...people. Not that I like, kidnap them...just, if I want them to notice me, I can generally make it happen.

Knowing how to get what I want isn't the bad part; it's wanting things that are bad for me, or not leaving people well alone when I know I'm not good for them, that's wrong.

Fighting temptation...not my forte. It's absolutely my own fault- I don't think I've ever put any real effort into it. I'm not sure I've ever put any real effort into anything in my life.

Urgh, self-reflection...*shudder*
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
99
0
#35
Fenner, I see you as more refined than that. I'm sure you drink your whiskey from a teacup, with your pinky up...like a true lady.

I actually have a little flask, it's fine bone China.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,009
1,532
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#36

Fighting temptation...not my forte. It's absolutely my own fault- I don't think I've ever put any real effort into it. I'm not sure I've ever put any real effort into anything in my life.

I was thinking this same thing not more than 10 minutes ago driving home from the store.
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
13
0
#37
i have a wide rebellious streak constantly threatening to impose, rather alive and well in me. and there are days in which i have a bad attitude about the fact that i often feel like the fun i can have in rebellion surpasses what God will provide for, at least in this lifetime.

more often than i'd like to admit, i feel like i'm driving one of those amusement park cars that has a regulator on it, and the thing never leaves 5 mph.

intellectually, i know this is broken thinking. but i hate constantly feeling that all the fun times i've had are behind me and all that awaits me is a melancholy yawn-fest.

i also hate feeling (at times) like the life i'm choosing and leading is largely out of grumbly obligation, instead of joyful, loving obedience.
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,009
1,532
113
63
Florida
#39
i have a wide rebellious streak constantly threatening to impose, rather alive and well in me. and there are days in which i have a bad attitude about the fact that i often feel like the fun i can have in rebellion surpasses what God will provide for, at least in this lifetime.

more often than i'd like to admit, i feel like i'm driving one of those amusement park cars that has a regulator on it, and the thing never leaves 5 mph.

intellectually, i know this is broken thinking. but i hate constantly feeling that all the fun times i've had are behind me and all that awaits me is a melancholy yawn-fest.

i also hate feeling (at times) like the life i'm choosing and leading is largely out of grumbly obligation, instead of joyful, loving obedience.
I feel like you do on most days. Life is just not enjoyable anymore. My regulator will not let me exceed 10mph so I got you beat in that regard. I know that I have been put on earth to serve God, and I really want to do this and I try hard. I pray to the Father all day long but there is no happiness or joy to be found inside of me these days. I think maybe I will just leave Florida and go someplace where nobody knows my name.
 
N

Nodmyheadlikeyeah

Guest
#40
i have a wide rebellious streak constantly threatening to impose, rather alive and well in me. and there are days in which i have a bad attitude about the fact that i often feel like the fun i can have in rebellion surpasses what God will provide for, at least in this lifetime.

more often than i'd like to admit, i feel like i'm driving one of those amusement park cars that has a regulator on it, and the thing never leaves 5 mph.

intellectually, i know this is broken thinking. but i hate constantly feeling that all the fun times i've had are behind me and all that awaits me is a melancholy yawn-fest.

i also hate feeling (at times) like the life i'm choosing and leading is largely out of grumbly obligation, instead of joyful, loving obedience.
Yes...this! All of it.