Midnight Confessions

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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One of the things I really loved about Sirk was how clear he was on these matters concerning being hurt, anger, and boundaries. He surely did experience a lot of emotional trauma in his life, but seemed to have come to terms with a lot of it, and understood the source and ramifications of such. He gleaned much wisdom from exploring his issues. I always respected him for that :)
Yeah, I agree with you and I miss the guy. Utah too.
 

slshannon

Junior Member
Jul 21, 2017
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i must confess id rather be in heaven with Jesus then on thisd earth right now...
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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I've been applying the old axiom "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" in my real life, and this morning I realized I haven't said a word aloud in almost a week. I should probably extend that axiom to ALL my interactions with people, but that would mean having my account here deleted.

I wish I knew why I was so angry all the time.

Dare and care to share? I have learned when you are angry it only hurts you as usually no one else knows that there is a war raging inside of you. I have a cousin who was angry and upset with me for 6 years and I didn't know about it until she told me 6 years later - She was the one torn up inside I was just fine. Sometimes talking about what bothers you or writing it down in a letter to yourself what you are angry about helps you release the internal anger and helps you feel better.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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i must confess id rather be in heaven with Jesus then on thisd earth right now...
A nice confession that we all would enjoy for sure rather than being here in the turmoil that present earth presents.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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Though the life to come is on a renewed earth :D
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
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I must confess that I feel guilty and sorry for beating the red light today. :-(
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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I wouldn't feel sorry about that. You only have to say that you're sorry if your caught. That's what I said a couple months ago when I did a rolling stop at a stop sign. Said I was sorry and got off with a warning.
 
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It's close to midnight here and an hour + past my bedtime so my confession is two fold. Firstly, I am up late a should be in bed. Secondly, my coworker brought doughnuts to work to day. I ate 3. And a quarter. Are such sins worth staying up past my bedtime to remark on for a world that has no interest in them? A positive answer is doubtful at best, and a negative one rends this post into a greater state of futility. And yet, here I am and here you are. What is THIS? This moment? You can't be sure that this moment has any meaning. If it has no meaning does it truly exist at all? No matter how you try you can't impart the awareness that you now have of this particular moment to anyone else. So what does it come to, all of this? Well there's you and there's me and that's about it. You've got this moment and I've got this moment and we can share it together and that's plenty significant.

THREE doughnuts!!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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It's close to midnight here and an hour + past my bedtime so my confession is two fold. Firstly, I am up late a should be in bed. Secondly, my coworker brought doughnuts to work to day. I ate 3. And a quarter. Are such sins worth staying up past my bedtime to remark on for a world that has no interest in them? A positive answer is doubtful at best, and a negative one rends this post into a greater state of futility. And yet, here I am and here you are. What is THIS? This moment? You can't be sure that this moment has any meaning. If it has no meaning does it truly exist at all? No matter how you try you can't impart the awareness that you now have of this particular moment to anyone else. So what does it come to, all of this? Well there's you and there's me and that's about it. You've got this moment and I've got this moment and we can share it together and that's plenty significant.

THREE doughnuts!!
A sin to eat 3 doughnuts? Well, what kinda doughnuts are we talking about. Jelly filled? Cream filled? The only potential sin that I see is to not to have eaten them at all. Hopefully, they were Dunkin' Donuts 'cause America runs on Dunkin' otherwise there may be an issue. :)
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
Dare and care to share? I have learned when you are angry it only hurts you as usually no one else knows that there is a war raging inside of you. I have a cousin who was angry and upset with me for 6 years and I didn't know about it until she told me 6 years later - She was the one torn up inside I was just fine. Sometimes talking about what bothers you or writing it down in a letter to yourself what you are angry about helps you release the internal anger and helps you feel better.
No, I don't really want to share. Doing so would mean a LOT of typing, and I only have so much of that in me per day, and I need to save it for typing this evening when I continue working on my dissertation.

I'm still silent for the most part. I say what I absolutely must, but it's one or two words only. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if this became permanent. I'm tired of talking.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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No, I don't really want to share. Doing so would mean a LOT of typing, and I only have so much of that in me per day, and I need to save it for typing this evening when I continue working on my dissertation.

I'm still silent for the most part. I say what I absolutely must, but it's one or two words only. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if this became permanent. I'm tired of talking.
I'm not really big on sharing either unless I feel that someone may benefit in some way.
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
I'm not really big on sharing either unless I feel that someone may benefit in some way.
I think what it boils down to for me is - I'm tired of not being heard. Even when I do say something, people won't hear me, so talking is a waste of my time.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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I think what it boils down to for me is - I'm tired of not being heard. Even when I do say something, people won't hear me, so talking is a waste of my time.
Your reasoning is sort of profound. Why speak if you're never heard?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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My wife has been away on a little excursion since Saturday and I do confess that I miss having her around the house. It's just me and Tango and Sugar our cats. They miss her too especially Sugar who has cried for her a few times. I will see her tomorrow for a few hours and then she comes home on Saturday. She will be waiting for me at our home when I get home from work on Saturday.

I'm doing the dishes right now, been getting the mail everyday and have taken out the trash twice since she's been away. Also been feeding the puddy's twice a day and cleaned their litter box. I've been staying out of trouble that's for sure. I've been eating properly also, by that I mean I have been eating a lot since I'm underweight and need the calories. Also, I've been drinking my bottled water. I'm up to 2 16 oz bottles a day which is good for me as I usually mainly drink coffee. I find water to be kind of boring but I do enjoy Perrier. It's got a nice mineral taste and is fizzy.

She is spending time with her niece from Indiana who she hasn't seen in two years. The niece is only a few years younger that my wife and they grew up together and are real close. They are staying in a timeshare that my wife's friend has a share in but couldn't use this year. She offered the week to my wife free of charge. It's in Treasure Island which is a resort city nearby. It's sorta like an extended girls night out.

This time away from her reminds me of when I was single. The freedom is nice but after a couple days it wears on you. Lonely at bedtime too.

Lonely days, lonely nights.
Where would I be without my woman?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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The hurricane and the subsequent loss of power may be an opportunity to stop smoking. Going to be miserable anyway so why not go all out. I will have a lot of time for prayer and reflection. Sort of like a fast of some sorts. Of course, if the conditions and aftermath get real bad I may have to go into basic survival mode. Still, I have come to the conclusion that smoking and the possible health issues are a bad thing to, and unlike the hurricane, the conditions are self-afflicted. I did find my little flashlight though that I will use when things go dark so I'm all set.

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."
 
Z

Zi

Guest
If you had the opportunity to have someone that wanted to hear you would you turn them away?
I'm asking because you block people out without a chance. Hurt I get. Tired of it, I get.. You put yourself out there as someone nobody should be around. Like in the thread about why you shouldn't date. I think your posts are funny, fascinating and your word usage and vocab cause me to want to read them. I'm not trying to hint or suggest myself in some personal way... I don't qualify for your list of acceptance anyway.. all I'm saying is you don't sound monstrous on here. The curiosity in me is piqued is all I'm saying. And I hope I'm right that you're just hard on yourself. Sounds like you just need loved. If I may have liberty to share my thoughts
I think what it boils down to for me is - I'm tired of not being heard. Even when I do say something, people won't hear me, so talking is a waste of my time.
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
If I am hard on myself, then I get to beat others to the punch. If I present myself as somebody nobody wants to be around, then nobody gets the opportunity to show me the door or reject me. Everybody has their defense mechanisms and hating myself and brow-beating myself is mine.
 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
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If I am hard on myself, then I get to beat others to the punch. If I present myself as somebody nobody wants to be around, then nobody gets the opportunity to show me the door or reject me. Everybody has their defense mechanisms and hating myself and brow-beating myself is mine.
I've often wondered if that about you...

I use humor as a defense mechanism.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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I've often wondered if that about you...

I use humor as a defense mechanism.
My defense mechanism is to isolate myself from others. After the hurricane we lost power so instead of watching TV and going on the internet my wife and I basically just talked to each other for the last two days. The lesson of hurricane Irma for me is the need to realize what is most important in my life and that would be my wife, my daughter and her family and my immediate family. God is in the center of each unique relationship.