I'd be afraid you'd reject me after time. Your defense in my interpretation is rejective, the very thing you ward off. Maybe it's of little consequence. I don't hold it against you. I couldn't do that and be Fair. I like your personality, that's why I bring it up..
If I am hard on myself, then I get to beat others to the punch. If I present myself as somebody nobody wants to be around, then nobody gets the opportunity to show me the door or reject me. Everybody has their defense mechanisms and hating myself and brow-beating myself is mine.