As for a confession... Well, it's 2:57 am so I suppose the "midnight" part is fulfilled, haha.
I still sometimes struggle with feeling lovable, especially in a romantic sense. Well, it seems to be going deeper, as I do struggle with believing God loves me at all times but it's been getting better. These days I can almost always believe and trust that He loves me. But there are some days where I lose sight of that truth and fall into doubt / condemnation and it can become a downward spiral.
But when it comes to "human love" that's where I still have a lot of insecurities. My physical appearance is very flawed and I am often concerned that I won't be beautiful enough for a potential husband. I experience unease and even shame when I think about being completely open and "exposed" in someone else's presence and that causes some intimacy issues. Even with friends I have a hard time opening up. For instance, crying in front of someone is still a huge challenge to me and although I know it could be helpful, it makes me feel ashamed and uncomfortable.
Um that was kind of a messy and scattered confession lol. But there you have it.
I still sometimes struggle with feeling lovable, especially in a romantic sense. Well, it seems to be going deeper, as I do struggle with believing God loves me at all times but it's been getting better. These days I can almost always believe and trust that He loves me. But there are some days where I lose sight of that truth and fall into doubt / condemnation and it can become a downward spiral.
But when it comes to "human love" that's where I still have a lot of insecurities. My physical appearance is very flawed and I am often concerned that I won't be beautiful enough for a potential husband. I experience unease and even shame when I think about being completely open and "exposed" in someone else's presence and that causes some intimacy issues. Even with friends I have a hard time opening up. For instance, crying in front of someone is still a huge challenge to me and although I know it could be helpful, it makes me feel ashamed and uncomfortable.
Um that was kind of a messy and scattered confession lol. But there you have it.
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