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True, but it was civil with some peoples, but with some it was not.
The OP was not referring specifically to the Jews or Israelite's, that is why I answered like that.
I did make t clear to her that while I did not think it was the main consideration, I did believe civil carried some weight.
And yes, the pattern was set with Israel, and that is what we should follow.
The OP was not referring specifically to the Jews or Israelite's, that is why I answered like that.
I did make t clear to her that while I did not think it was the main consideration, I did believe civil carried some weight.
And yes, the pattern was set with Israel, and that is what we should follow.
C
Paul said it's better to marry than to burn (with sexual frustration,lust,e.t.c) One of the ten commandments speaks against fornication. Be that as it may, y'all know sometimes we slip up and sin. Its sad but true. The remedy to sin is repentance. Keep that in mind because not every believer has reached that point where they can withstand through prayer or fasting alone. It takes years of dedication to the lord and a strong will over our libido through the holy spirit. At least this is my humble opinion and I respect yours. Oh and I'm certainly NOT endorsing pre-marrital sex I'm just saying not every Christian can resist it. Shoot, not even an unsaved person can resist it. Sex is a beast!!!!!
N
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
I think that is pretty clear. This is always a way out. So what is it?
Jesus was tempted, lets look at his response:
"And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. [SUP]3 [/SUP]And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:2-4
Jesus fasted for 40 days, I imagine he was incredibly hungry. I've never fasted for 40 days.. but when I have fasted I can assure you there is a point where you realize how Dependant you are on food, so I can assure you this temptation was very real. Jesus responded by quoting the bible. Not only that, but by saying that man can't just life on bread, but God's word is required as well.
Joseph was faced with temptation as well, and he fled.
"And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her. [SUP]11 [/SUP]And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out." Genesis 39:10-12
So how are we to respond to temptation?
From what Jesus said, by God's word, which is the Bible.
"Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.[SUP]10 [/SUP]With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Psalm 119:9-11
And from what we see of Joseph, by fleeing.
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22
There is always a way out.
I think that is pretty clear. This is always a way out. So what is it?
Jesus was tempted, lets look at his response:
"And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. [SUP]3 [/SUP]And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:2-4
Jesus fasted for 40 days, I imagine he was incredibly hungry. I've never fasted for 40 days.. but when I have fasted I can assure you there is a point where you realize how Dependant you are on food, so I can assure you this temptation was very real. Jesus responded by quoting the bible. Not only that, but by saying that man can't just life on bread, but God's word is required as well.
Joseph was faced with temptation as well, and he fled.
"And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her. [SUP]11 [/SUP]And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out." Genesis 39:10-12
So how are we to respond to temptation?
From what Jesus said, by God's word, which is the Bible.
"Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.[SUP]10 [/SUP]With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Psalm 119:9-11
And from what we see of Joseph, by fleeing.
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22
There is always a way out.
C
Yes those are encouraging scriptures and it's wonderful advice but listen there are so many believers who mess up inspite of what the bible says and once they have they may feel like they can't make it back to the lord. They may get this attitude of " well there's no use stopping now. " or they may begin to question their walk with the lord. Or they may repent and do a repeat.Get it? This is called a reprobated mind. That's a bad mindset. My point is just recognize that temptations are still out there and some believers may be tempted and fall which doesn't mean they can't get back up and try again. They may willfully ignore their way out or they may not be spiritually strong enough yet to flee youthful lusts. We can preach to some people until we're blue in the face but it's still their choice whether to fall or stand. Just like it was for David to resist his lust for Bathsheba. And Amnon to resist his lust for his sister Tamar. Thanks for the scriptures.
It was sort of an homage to an American teenage custom (at least when Utah and I were that age) of relating their physical progress in a relationship to baseball .
A statement such as:
"I went to Jenny's house last night and her parents were away. We watched TV for a while and started fooling around. I really though I was gonna get to third base but got denied.
would not be uncommon to hear on an American high school campus.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex
A statement such as:
"I went to Jenny's house last night and her parents were away. We watched TV for a while and started fooling around. I really though I was gonna get to third base but got denied.
would not be uncommon to hear on an American high school campus.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex
Maybe you should cut to the chase and elope. Like you have said, life is too short. God will certainly bless your union if you both put him in the center of your relationship. From your post it seems that you are struggling with commitment. Pray for God to remove this anxiety and give you the courage to act one way or another.
OP: This is a perfectly normal struggle to have, but good Godly advice echoes what the others said:
If you want to ensure commitment why not get married before being intimate? Ultimately marriage is about the commitment you're looking for. So if something is stopping you from making the commitment of marriage, figure out what that is, work it through, and get married before acting out that level of commitment through intimacy.
Marriage around the world, whether state or religious or just culturally based, almost always involves some sort of public community acknowledgement of the couple as belonging to each other and not available to anyone else. I would suggest that it's possible that the marriage commands in the Bible were God telling people how to do marriage (which they were already doing) in a way that communicated his value of people and relationships rather than God commanding any sort of separate status that could exist "before God" apart from the community. There's just no accountability to vows made privately between just the two of you and God.
God doesn't make any exceptions to the no sex outside of marriage rule: not for previously married, not for those in long term relationships who haven't gotten married yet, not for those who think it's just really hard to wait.
Don't confuse what your feelings or hormones are telling you with what God is telling you. Especially in the fog of attraction it is even more important to have an objective source (the bible) to reveal God will and desires rather than just what you feel God would be okay with.
If you want to ensure commitment why not get married before being intimate? Ultimately marriage is about the commitment you're looking for. So if something is stopping you from making the commitment of marriage, figure out what that is, work it through, and get married before acting out that level of commitment through intimacy.
Marriage around the world, whether state or religious or just culturally based, almost always involves some sort of public community acknowledgement of the couple as belonging to each other and not available to anyone else. I would suggest that it's possible that the marriage commands in the Bible were God telling people how to do marriage (which they were already doing) in a way that communicated his value of people and relationships rather than God commanding any sort of separate status that could exist "before God" apart from the community. There's just no accountability to vows made privately between just the two of you and God.
God doesn't make any exceptions to the no sex outside of marriage rule: not for previously married, not for those in long term relationships who haven't gotten married yet, not for those who think it's just really hard to wait.
Don't confuse what your feelings or hormones are telling you with what God is telling you. Especially in the fog of attraction it is even more important to have an objective source (the bible) to reveal God will and desires rather than just what you feel God would be okay with.
If it's God's will, because if it's not, it's won't reign in the end at all. Read the story of Obadiah for an illustration.
Whether your hearts are pure or not is not going to make God bless this union. God's only going to bless something that was long ago, part of His design for you, part of His will for you both.
If God presented you two to each other and it's His will that you two have a place or a part in each other's lives, you have to honour God NOT your feelings from your flesh. If God gave you two to each other, praise His holy Name, don't go acting on your flesh, that does nothing but dishonour God.
The only way you can trust if this union is 'true' and 'right' is to keep God on the forefront of EVERYTHING. Let Him be the decider and the basis for every breath you take around each other. NOT your flesh. Ask God continuously, "is this your will father?" "point me to a scripture" "speak to me God" "i want to do your will God, not follow my flesh or anything of the enemy's influence".
That is 100% irrelevant. Till our last day, till the last breath we draw, we as christians, who claim that Christ is our saviour, are supposed to live for the Lord and do EVERYTHING according to God's will. You're not going to stand before God on judgement day and say "sorry God, time was running out, i was lonely, so i just did what i wanted and followed my flesh", those kinds of sentiments don't stand. You are not a teenager, you are a mature aged adult woman who needs to be concentrating on her walk with Christ, your values are not on par with Christ's word on this matter.
Do you really think a union blessed by God is just 'a licence to love'? If you get married in the house of the Lord, and your relationship is solidified by an ordained minister, and in front of your families and friends you declare your vows for each other - that is marriage - a holy institution ONLY made holy by the grace and will of God, not just a 'licence to love'.
If God has blessed you with each other, honour Him in return, by putting Him first, not the relationship, not the other person, not anything else. Live for the Lord exclusively.
After reading your entire post, I would suggest you study what marriage is. Examine why as christians, we are to put God first above and beyond anything or anyone we have here on earth, and how we as christians are to live. Let those things be your guide in answering your posts questions.
S
My reference to "A license to love" was a reference to a literal license to love, that of obtaining one from a legal standpoint. I do not agree at all that this is required by God.
God has indeed blessed us with one another, His will has shown us this very clearly. Because of that very fact, my initial post is what had to me become irrelevant; I think I made it pretty clear that after I asked the original question, my own reflection, and reading other's comments, that I realized we must do what He divines to honor Him. If He has so richly blessed us who are so undeserving, then yes, we must do only as He desires for us.
Aside from the appreciated attempts to help with words of kindness and Biblical quotes to help inspire, I have found that some of your comments have a very strong air of self-righteous judmental attitudes. Word to all: do not make assumptions on what another person is doing until you can know their history. Again, try walking in their shoes. And do not tell them.how to walk with the Lord ~I walk with the Lord very well thank you, and show much more compassion for others, as I believe we should, than some of you could ever even begin to know how to show. But then I guess I'm now making assumptions.
I'm sorry that I ever asked what I did. I know what is right, we do, and we will act upon it. God has His hand in this. Goodbye, and God bless you all~
God has indeed blessed us with one another, His will has shown us this very clearly. Because of that very fact, my initial post is what had to me become irrelevant; I think I made it pretty clear that after I asked the original question, my own reflection, and reading other's comments, that I realized we must do what He divines to honor Him. If He has so richly blessed us who are so undeserving, then yes, we must do only as He desires for us.
Aside from the appreciated attempts to help with words of kindness and Biblical quotes to help inspire, I have found that some of your comments have a very strong air of self-righteous judmental attitudes. Word to all: do not make assumptions on what another person is doing until you can know their history. Again, try walking in their shoes. And do not tell them.how to walk with the Lord ~I walk with the Lord very well thank you, and show much more compassion for others, as I believe we should, than some of you could ever even begin to know how to show. But then I guess I'm now making assumptions.
I'm sorry that I ever asked what I did. I know what is right, we do, and we will act upon it. God has His hand in this. Goodbye, and God bless you all~
C
My question to you would be, are you feeling fear or reluctance to legally and formally marry? If so, perhaps that needs to be dealt with. Marriage is kind of "all or nothing". You're either all-in, or you aren't. Be all in. Get a license. 
Biblically, we know that ceremonies WERE held, because Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding, and there is much imagery involved between Christ the bridegroom, and his bride. So I do believe more is asked of us than simply making a personal commitment to one another.
Congratulations on finding someone wonderful! I love that you've both been so careful with one another in this regard. Keep at it!
Biblically, we know that ceremonies WERE held, because Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding, and there is much imagery involved between Christ the bridegroom, and his bride. So I do believe more is asked of us than simply making a personal commitment to one another.
Congratulations on finding someone wonderful! I love that you've both been so careful with one another in this regard. Keep at it!
great response btw.. there are so many I just chose this one to respond to on an old post (Ive been away too long lol)
C
Odd that in reading these old posts, as a person who does not believe in premarital sex, never felt in my own opinion that any one of you sounded self righteous or judgemental. You were just telling the truth. Period!! this person wanted to have sex with her partner...and for some reason didn't want to wait for marriage.. it didn't take a genius to see that.. and was reasoning out loud to justify this sin. We all have done it.. we all do it today it's not a new thing nor a surprise... everyone of us has had sins that we want to enjoy or take part in and want to know it's "ok with God"...however every one of us that do this are doing it because we know it's not right otherwise we would do it without asking a soul..
My mom and her husband dated and knew one another for about 6 months....before marrying..and then they married because they did burn with desire for one another and wanted, in mid life, to get it over with and make their covenant before God and man (Witnesses at a wedding are there for accountability...what's done in public can help give support and encouragement to keep the covenant later when the couple wants to skate out of the hardships of marriage after the sex has been had and the newness wears off and feelings aren't always there and the realness is felt...and experienced and the choice to love must be turned on)
Anyway I am sure this couple did as they wanted anyway..they may have gotten married , they may have indulged in their premarital desires anyway but I personally loved all the responses here..
(not that it matters what I loved but I didn't see the judgementalness this person did)God bless!!