Sexual Harassment in the Workplace..Advice??

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coby

Guest
#41
What's "a normal person?" Obviously one who you find acceptable. Too bad for the rest.

Frankly, a comment directed at a woman by another woman... single and over twice the drinking age.... calling her "beautiful", could be taken as sexual harassment..... if you made sexual orientation preconceptions about the first poster..... (not a "normal person.")

I think a lot more may be behind many complaints than might be fully realized.
A creep doesn't just say: you're beautiful. They cross lines with their comments.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#42
I can only dream of being sexually harrassed. :(
I've been sexually harassed before by a few girls at a teens confirmation camp. I'm not a looker. I was the shy kid who didn't enjoy sports. It was very uncomfortable. A few times, as we were getting ready for group work, they traced their fingers up my legs to my crotch and made lewd comments, all to see me squirm. You'd think something like that would excite me. It didn't. It freaked me out. I didn't trust girls for a long time after that. I don't know why I didn't tell the pastor or my friends what happened. You're not missing anything.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#43
I've been sexually harassed before by a few girls at a teens confirmation camp. I'm not a looker. I was the shy kid who didn't enjoy sports. It was very uncomfortable. A few times, as we were getting ready for group work, they traced their fingers up my legs to my crotch and made lewd comments, all to see me squirm. You'd think something like that would excite me. It didn't. It freaked me out. I didn't trust girls for a long time after that. I don't know why I didn't tell the pastor or my friends what happened. You're not missing anything.
Sorry that happened to you, Tintin... but umm... how should I put this? Wait til you're my age...
 
C

coby

Guest
#44
I always went to Spain on a holiday when I was young. You had those guys there that were really pushy, chasing girls.
But and this was almost 30 years ago, then I saw it happen the other way around. Those girls would simply not let 2 nice shy guys go and they were like: leave me alone!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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#45
I can only dream of being sexually harrassed. :(
Zero, I understand that what you're really saying is, "I wish I got some kind of attention from the opposite gender," but that's the horribly twisted thing about our world today.

People have gotten to the point where they believe that ANY attention, even if it's inappropriate, is better than nothing.

Especially as they get older and start to feel completely invisible to the rest of society. They long for that "rush" of someone, anyone paying attention to them. I understand that. At times, I feel it myself, and I'm sure I'll feel it all the more as I get older.

But it's terribly disturbing to me that society has gotten to a point where lewd comments, gestures, or actions are considered to be "compliments." I work with a lot of younger people, and it's absolutely frightening to me that they send and receive obscene messages to each other on a daily basis because they think it's "normal".
 
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ramx2016

Guest
#46
I agree it's completely uncalled for. And honestly, I don't see what the guy OR girl gets out of it... I mean the person clearly does not want you... I would think it would be embarrassing ... but IDK...

What I have seen however, is a clear "double" standard - NOT among Christian women (I'm assuming) - AND I'm not saying it's wrong either ... so put the blades down!

If the guy is attractive enough...."harassment" becomes a little more loosely defined....
 
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skylove7

Guest
#47
Thank you all so much for the responses here....
I knew I could count on you all for help and advice

Thank you so much!

It is a hard thing to prove....
Especially the ones that do it so much in the workplace....they even know how to get past it....
You know the ones...
That is a sly fox....
With little comments here and there
But yea....when my chest got full out grabbed on an elevator....
I gave the creep a piece of my mind....
He said " I'm sorry I like to touch"
HR said..." Oh noooo...he is an amazing employee...he would never touch you."


Well I walked out!
I was thru lol
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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#48
I agree it's completely uncalled for. And honestly, I don't see what the guy OR girl gets out of it... I mean the person clearly does not want you... I would think it would be embarrassing ... but IDK...

What I have seen however, is a clear "double" standard - NOT among Christian women (I'm assuming) - AND I'm not saying it's wrong either ... so put the blades down!

If the guy is attractive enough...."harassment" becomes a little more loosely defined....
Be sure to include the fact that it goes both ways.

Women get told, "Who'd want to harass you anyway? You're far too old/ugly for anyone to want to (*sexually harass*) you, so obviously, nothing happened!"
 
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ramx2016

Guest
#49
Thank you all so much for the responses here....
I knew I could count on you all for help and advice

Thank you so much!

It is a hard thing to prove....
Especially the ones that do it so much in the workplace....they even know how to get past it....
You know the ones...
That is a sly fox....
With little comments here and there
But yea....when my chest got full out grabbed on an elevator....
I gave the creep a piece of my mind....
He said " I'm sorry I like to touch"
HR said..." Oh noooo...he is an amazing employee...he would never touch you."


Well I walked out!
I was thru lol

UMMM - I would consider that assault... HR...? No, talking police here...
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#50
I agree it's completely uncalled for. And honestly, I don't see what the guy OR girl gets out of it... I mean the person clearly does not want you... I would think it would be embarrassing ... but IDK...

What I have seen however, is a clear "double" standard - NOT among Christian women (I'm assuming) - AND I'm not saying it's wrong either ... so put the blades down!

If the guy is attractive enough...."harassment" becomes a little more loosely defined....
This is a very sad fact. I've watched it happen time and time again. It was especially prevalent in high school. I couldn't believe how girls, almost gleefully, let the "jocks" and popular guys treat them, and how the nerds got ostracized and belittled by them.
 
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ramx2016

Guest
#51
Be sure to include the fact that it goes both ways.

Women get told, "Who'd want to harass you anyway? You're far too old/ugly for anyone to want to (*sexually harass*) you, so obviously, nothing happened!"
Are you being serious?? WHERE is this going on at? That's grounds for lawsuits.... I think anyway...
 
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skylove7

Guest
#52
I am honest here....
I truly used to think I was only getting sexually harassed on jobs by some men....
Because I was kinda poor with no college education or career so to speak...
But that's not true!
Even you ladies with awesome careers get sexually harassed!

It's a battle real hard to win
Unless you are believed!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
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#53
Are you being serious?? WHERE is this going on at? That's grounds for lawsuits.... I think anyway...
Ramx, I think you're a great person (I saw how you handled a self-righteous heckler in your other thread and you did a great job :)), but... at the risk of sounding sexist myself :), you're a guy, so I understand you probably don't hear this going on or have an awareness of it.

But if you're a woman, this can be an everyday occurrence, no matter where or who they are. Some male comedians in pop culture have entire skits themed around "women who are too ugly to be (assaulted)", etc.

Now, I am in no way saying that guys can't be sexually harassed. Tintin, I applaud you for being brave enough to share your story and I can think of a few other guys who have shared in the past when this subject was brought up.

But that's one of the positive things about these discussions--hopefully it will make us all aware of what others are going through and make us want to stand up for one another.
 
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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
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#54
This is a very sad fact. I've watched it happen time and time again. It was especially prevalent in high school. I couldn't believe how girls, almost gleefully, let the "jocks" and popular guys treat them, and how the nerds got ostracized and belittled by them.
I understand what the guys here are saying about this, but it's a lot like men who get suckered in by a pretty face, buy her everything she wants, then get dumped (because the ignore all the big warning signs that she's just using him anyway) and bitterly complain that all women are out for money.

The moral of the story is, whether man or woman, don't let someone use/mistreat/abuse you just because they (man or woman) look good.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#55
Yes truly!
It's not just a woman thing....
I have yet to see a man get harassed in the workplace, but it happens everyday!

Wasn't there a movie once where Demi Moore sexually harassed Michael Douglas
I forgot that movie tho lol
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#56
Men and woman of all ages get sexually harassed and some time are the one who harass you. For example I used to deliver pizzas for extra money the place I worked would say JeniBean will be your driver this evening. I would arrive to a man in all (so he thought) glory, a man in boxers and always the snide remarks I will give you a little extra if you show me your.....Sexual Harassment is every where and on a daily basis.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#57
Yea Kim....
Truly Ram is a good bro!
I thank you all for the advice
You have no idea how you all help me to just do it!
Be brave out there!

My old Facebook I cancelled was just co workers havin fun at the clubs!

Many people on facebooks tongues sticking out...
I needed a thermometer to scroll lol

But truly
I know on CC I can get 'for real' people
And....'for real' responses....

It's why CC is my only social vibe on the big bad web lol

Love you all!
Thank you!
 
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ramx2016

Guest
#58
Ramx, I think you're a great person (I saw how you handled a self-righteous heckler in your other thread and you did a great job :)), but... at the risk of sounding sexist myself :), you're a guy, so I understand you probably don't hear this going on or have an awareness of it.

But if you're a woman, this can be an everyday occurrence, no matter where or who they are. Some male comedians in pop culture have entire skits around "women who are too ugly to be (assaulted)", etc.

Now, I am in no way saying that guys can't be sexually harassed. Tintin, I applaud you for being brave enough to share your story and I can think of a few other guys who have shared in the past when this subject was brought up.

But that's one of the positive things about these discussions--hopefully it will make us all aware of what others are going through and make us want to stand up for one another.
Thank you ! ...:)

To my "fault" you'll see the military coming out from time to time in my replies... :/

BUT.... I was under the impression the days of meek, submissive women were over! What ever happened to girlpowa??

Seriously, ladies if this is occurring at every turn you have to speak up - loudly AND force-ably! Especially if you are a Christian woman! And I mean ESPECIALLY -! You belong to God first.... once THAT is known... ANY man that continues in that behavior has to be dealt with...
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#59
i've never been harassed. my heart hurts knowing many of you went through it :(
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#60
Yes truly!
It's not just a woman thing....
I have yet to see a man get harassed in the workplace, but it happens everyday!

Wasn't there a movie once where Demi Moore sexually harassed Michael Douglas
I forgot that movie tho lol
My wife was just reminding me of that movie, not six minutes ago.