Some Questions for Singles Who Have Been Hit On By People Who Are Married or Attached...
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Reading the poll answers again I want to add:
I'm single and wouldn't realize that anyone was hitting on me unless they were using a sledgehammer.
On a slightly more serious note. It really is amazing how much trouble and frustration and crap you can save yourself if you just adopt the mentality that married people are taken and are not an option (and the caveat of if God intends someone to be with you, he doesn't need your help to break up their current relationship).
I'm single and wouldn't realize that anyone was hitting on me unless they were using a sledgehammer.
On a slightly more serious note. It really is amazing how much trouble and frustration and crap you can save yourself if you just adopt the mentality that married people are taken and are not an option (and the caveat of if God intends someone to be with you, he doesn't need your help to break up their current relationship).
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There is a phrase for what that pastor did. Pastorbating. You see pastors are not naturally strong men. They havent won a fist fight. They will berate a group of docile christian men about abusing their wives "and these men are not". But would they have the testicles to talk like that to a group of actual violent abusive criminals? No. They are cowards.
Nationally it seems rare to find a pastor that does not think 1 way sexually. Its all and always a mans fault. He thinks the women in the congregation are having sex because the men are bad. Most pastors view christianity as a religion based on female attributes. Half a decade in church ive never heard a story directly criticizing any woman even anonymously. They worship women and that coward gets off on attacking men with his shield of being a pastor. You cant attack him back you will b the bad guy.
Nationally it seems rare to find a pastor that does not think 1 way sexually. Its all and always a mans fault. He thinks the women in the congregation are having sex because the men are bad. Most pastors view christianity as a religion based on female attributes. Half a decade in church ive never heard a story directly criticizing any woman even anonymously. They worship women and that coward gets off on attacking men with his shield of being a pastor. You cant attack him back you will b the bad guy.
Early one morning I went to the store before heading to work. I ran into my student’s father. He commented on my smile and asked if he could have my phone number, saying he’d like to hang out sometime. I was very obviously shocked and asked “aren’t you married???” I had just met with him and his wife. His response was “well...” and the conversation went elsewhere. Before leaving, he asked, “so is that a no for your number?” 🤦♀️
It was rather awkward and so sad. I didn’t really know how to respond apart from questioning him. I don’t understand why you’d be in a relationship if you don’t really want to be?
Clearly, he wasn’t that smart. He had my number, as all my student’s families have the capability to text me.
It was rather awkward and so sad. I didn’t really know how to respond apart from questioning him. I don’t understand why you’d be in a relationship if you don’t really want to be?
Clearly, he wasn’t that smart. He had my number, as all my student’s families have the capability to text me.
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Most people had full time jobs for years before retiring. That does not make retired people hard workers. I personally cannot believe full time ministry work is a paid job. They are not catholic priests doing mass every day. They speak on average 1x a week 1x a month. How that justifies a full time salary i have no idea.
Because while you may never have availed yourself of it, many people expect their pastors to be on call 24-7 for all of life's problems. So if someone is ill in the hospital they want the pastor to come visit. If someone has a question about any point of morality they want a meeting with the pastor to discuss it. If their marriage is in trouble or they have trouble with their kids or they're struggling in their faith; the pastor is expected to be available and able to fix it. Anything that's going on at church people are going to expect the pastor to know all about it (even if he has no personal involvement with sunday school or worship practice or the easter egg hunt). And there are weddings, and funerals, and board meetings, and ideally checking in with people who aren't able to or have disappeared from church. And quite possibly in addition to sunday sermons (which take some time for planning, practice, and just to study up on the specific extra biblical resources to give your people an accurate understanding of the text) he may be teaching another class and or bible study.
So while some "Christian celebrity" pastors might make millions and be overpaid and materialistic. Most pastors are not overpaid and work very hard and very crazy and inconvenient hours.
To the root of your contention that pastors / Christianity idealize women and villify men: There is some evidence to suggest that modern Christianity has exalted more feminine traits and virtures while seeing sins that are viewed as predominantly men's sins as worse sins. But it's quite a leap to say that that's because an individual pastor hates men and idolizes women. A much kinder reading of it might be that the average pastor (being a man) understands all too well the strength and destructiveness of men's temptations and sees in women qualities that he lacks and can see the benefit of having. This is of course all directed toward healthy churches since there are some that still see men as having a God given right to have authority over wives and possibly all women or mix a host of other unChristlike cultural ideas with Christianity. But that's a field far to big for discussion here.
Do you have any specific instances where you think you saw a pastor not confront behavior or attitudes in a specific woman that you felt should have been confronted? Or is this just a critique because you dont' feel you can live up to the standard that most pastors do?
So while some "Christian celebrity" pastors might make millions and be overpaid and materialistic. Most pastors are not overpaid and work very hard and very crazy and inconvenient hours.
To the root of your contention that pastors / Christianity idealize women and villify men: There is some evidence to suggest that modern Christianity has exalted more feminine traits and virtures while seeing sins that are viewed as predominantly men's sins as worse sins. But it's quite a leap to say that that's because an individual pastor hates men and idolizes women. A much kinder reading of it might be that the average pastor (being a man) understands all too well the strength and destructiveness of men's temptations and sees in women qualities that he lacks and can see the benefit of having. This is of course all directed toward healthy churches since there are some that still see men as having a God given right to have authority over wives and possibly all women or mix a host of other unChristlike cultural ideas with Christianity. But that's a field far to big for discussion here.
Do you have any specific instances where you think you saw a pastor not confront behavior or attitudes in a specific woman that you felt should have been confronted? Or is this just a critique because you dont' feel you can live up to the standard that most pastors do?
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I am sure pastors do a lot more than just the half hour church service once a week
they go out in visits to housebound, they study, they also look after church building and manitainence and organise different minsitries. A smart pastor also delegates. I think its a huge task to oversee so many sheep, and to know each and every one by name.
It might not be hard work in that is manual labour where you are physically sweating, but it can be emotionally demanding. I dont know if youve buried a loved one, but most people call on pastors to speak at funerals -that is hard when people are grieving.
they go out in visits to housebound, they study, they also look after church building and manitainence and organise different minsitries. A smart pastor also delegates. I think its a huge task to oversee so many sheep, and to know each and every one by name.
It might not be hard work in that is manual labour where you are physically sweating, but it can be emotionally demanding. I dont know if youve buried a loved one, but most people call on pastors to speak at funerals -that is hard when people are grieving.
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I have but usually i just brush it off and act like i don't know whats going on if its lighthearted, but if its a full blown invitation into some other things i tell their boyfriend/ husband what they've been up to. I feel like they need to know so they don't end up having kids with or even marrying people like that.
I had to give a guy the news about his girlfriend once, he was mad at first but thanked me later.
I had to give a guy the news about his girlfriend once, he was mad at first but thanked me later.
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If you think that all a pastor does is speak once a week, I would gander to say that you have never known a pastor beyond shaking his hand walking out of the service. I have never known a pastor to work fewer than 40 hours a week (more like 60 or more) between studying for sermon prep, counseling congregants, visiting sick, administrative duties, etc.
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