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Glad you are back to your normal state. Hope you soon find yourself in an abnormal state of extraordinary health and with an uncontrollable desire to return and cause poking havoc in chat.
You are allowed to request prayer as many times as you need. As to what to do, it's hard to give specifics without a specific detailed run down about your culture and situation, and I'm certainly not going to pressure you to spill all on a public internet forum. But it has become clear through your posts that you cannot count on your family to do what is best for you or co-operate with even the most basic requests like getting a ride to church. I don't know if you are holding onto a dream that someday your family will become this happy, loving, supportive family but don't stick around hoping for that. You need to get out and the sooner the better.
Are you working? Do you have control of the money you make or is your family taking control of that? If you are going to get out you need control of your own income. I can't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to go and open a new bank account if you need to. To break free you are going to have to do things that make you feel like you are being a horrible person towards your family. Please understand that these imposed feelings of guilt are simply not true and are part of the emotional abuse and manipulation your family is doing to you. You need to take care of yourself first before you can help your family and if taking care of yourself means all the crap in your family gets exposed to other people, that is ok. Do what it takes to take care of you.
What are your options for alternative housing? Do you have friends you could stay with? Could you afford to rent a room somewhere? If your family won't help you with transport for where you need to go, do you have friends who would give you a ride? Is there public transport available? Could you buy a bicycle so you have your own transport?
There's something to be said for stepping out in faith and trusting God to provide, but I'm not sure that in your situation I would get out without a plan so I'll be asking God to give you wisdom on that. What I will say is that when you leave (and fix your mind on that, that God is going to help you find a way and you will be leaving soon) make it a complete break. Change your Sim card in your phone and make it practically impossible for your family to contact you except via internet. Unfriend them on Facebook if you need to and leave them only e-mail as a medium of contact if you want (and you can set up filters so that all family e-mails are put into a special folder that you only have to look at when you want and feel like you can handle it).
That's about all I've got. We'd do more if we could, but it is really hard to help you from another country. Hugs and prayers. Keep fighting, it shows you haven't been beaten yet.
You are allowed to request prayer as many times as you need. As to what to do, it's hard to give specifics without a specific detailed run down about your culture and situation, and I'm certainly not going to pressure you to spill all on a public internet forum. But it has become clear through your posts that you cannot count on your family to do what is best for you or co-operate with even the most basic requests like getting a ride to church. I don't know if you are holding onto a dream that someday your family will become this happy, loving, supportive family but don't stick around hoping for that. You need to get out and the sooner the better.
Are you working? Do you have control of the money you make or is your family taking control of that? If you are going to get out you need control of your own income. I can't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to go and open a new bank account if you need to. To break free you are going to have to do things that make you feel like you are being a horrible person towards your family. Please understand that these imposed feelings of guilt are simply not true and are part of the emotional abuse and manipulation your family is doing to you. You need to take care of yourself first before you can help your family and if taking care of yourself means all the crap in your family gets exposed to other people, that is ok. Do what it takes to take care of you.
What are your options for alternative housing? Do you have friends you could stay with? Could you afford to rent a room somewhere? If your family won't help you with transport for where you need to go, do you have friends who would give you a ride? Is there public transport available? Could you buy a bicycle so you have your own transport?
There's something to be said for stepping out in faith and trusting God to provide, but I'm not sure that in your situation I would get out without a plan so I'll be asking God to give you wisdom on that. What I will say is that when you leave (and fix your mind on that, that God is going to help you find a way and you will be leaving soon) make it a complete break. Change your Sim card in your phone and make it practically impossible for your family to contact you except via internet. Unfriend them on Facebook if you need to and leave them only e-mail as a medium of contact if you want (and you can set up filters so that all family e-mails are put into a special folder that you only have to look at when you want and feel like you can handle it).
That's about all I've got. We'd do more if we could, but it is really hard to help you from another country. Hugs and prayers. Keep fighting, it shows you haven't been beaten yet.
conversation between Daughter #3 and me upon reviewing her back-to-school purchases:
D#3 - "Hey! My book bag has a bunch of sewn in compartments for pencils and crap!"
Me - "That's so cool, Casey!"
D#3 - "And my new boots -- there's a secret pocket in there too!"
Me - "That's for your shiv."
D#3 - "I know! Right? It's gonna be a great year!"
I have no idea why my kid isn't normal.
D#3 - "Hey! My book bag has a bunch of sewn in compartments for pencils and crap!"
Me - "That's so cool, Casey!"
D#3 - "And my new boots -- there's a secret pocket in there too!"
Me - "That's for your shiv."
D#3 - "I know! Right? It's gonna be a great year!"
I have no idea why my kid isn't normal.
Haha, may be I'm feeling little nostalgic but you people are nice, 'after a nice dinner sitting before a notebook the only thing that's lit running with Windows XP that I got from a friend for free and it's no longer hot as sun has set hours ago with cricket background music while a cheap rectangular fan running from a perfect distance creating that perfect yet artificial breeze' nice.
I'm gonna take a long walk outside and think about God and you people.
God bless, whatever you are going through right now, for our Father's love overwhelms us.
I'm gonna take a long walk outside and think about God and you people.
God bless, whatever you are going through right now, for our Father's love overwhelms us.
What I need now is a foot long tuna sub toasted with extra cheese, filled with lots of lettuce, tomato, capsicum and cucumber, two slices of pickles, and topped up with South-west, Honey Mustard and Mayo.
I will take it home and eat it on my bed while watching episodes of Air Crash Investigations on YouTube.
I will take it home and eat it on my bed while watching episodes of Air Crash Investigations on YouTube.