Streams of Sub-Consciousness Thoughts
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Don't worry Grace, I've been meaning to start a new one called 'Streams of Un-Consciousness & Thoughts". Then you won't be confused anymore. 
i had such an awkward conversation with the mother of one of the lovlies in my girls' group last night. her 13 year old daughter is writing about sexual activity in her diary, and mom came across it and read all the cryptic details.
her mom then called to ASK ME whether i thought her daughter was having sex, and what i knew about her relationships with other boys.
this woman was so angry. she wanted to punish a girl who is flailing, and in great need of so many of the stabilizing factors that kids deserve, and long for--such as a relationship with her father (and i'm also guessing, more one-on-one time with mom).
not that i am minimizing this situation. far from it. but the last thing i'd be feeling if this was my daughter is ANGER. more like, profound sadness and feelings of failure and disappointment--in myself.
perhaps what saddened me the most, was that mom's reaction of "how dare she!" while her conspicuous anger was entirely motivated by the daughter's alleged lack of birth control, and the resentment she held for her daughter risking major inconvenience and expense that would be incurred by the birth of a grandchild by her child.
she kept repeating to me things like:
she knows better!
we have talked about this!
the last thing i need is another child to take care of!
it's incredibly sad, because there is no real concern for her emotional vulnerability, needs, or the fact she is a child in a very difficult place right now. she has no contact with her father, and is being raised by a mom who has some pretty questionable social habits of her own.
yeah, those above are ACTUAL quotes. i sometimes wonder whether people even think about the damage of their words. as i've ruminated about it today, i couldn't help but wonder what would've happened to me, if i'd been that 13 year old girl, and my mom was dealing with me.
when i was growing up, i often heard some of the similar painful comments--usually in frustration and/or anger.
in these flashes of temper, we have an opportunity/risk that can cut right to the quick of the fragile, the unformed, the weak, and those desperately needing tenderness, love, and acceptance, regardless of their "messes". it's also so frustrating to me that often, it's those whom we love that receive the brunt of this callous treatment.
how mixed up is that? i'm so grateful that i've spent the majority of my life with the ability to steer clear of those who are emotionally irresponsible, and that i have learned to value the beauty of honest, vulnerable, and loving communication. and i'm so grateful that those closest to me treat me with that kind of tenderness.
to the parents: i really have no idea how you guys don't just take your kids and lock them up. or head for the hills of the most rural, secluded areas. if i were a parent, i'd have a really, REALLY hard time sending my kid to school, so they can be subject to those influences.
you have your work cut out for you. and i have so much admiration, and respect for those who seek to do the job with love and guidance--and teaching them about the value and consequence of their choices. it can't be easy.
the more i learn to know, and love these girls, i just see them all as youngsters who need to be protected, cherished, and reminded that they are worthy of so much, such as bright futures, true love, and the pursuit of every dream that occurs to them.
and to the rest of us, may you always be surrounded with loving words, and extend that same tenderness to those around you. i think for those of us who have experienced the difference, it's such a remarkable and extravagant kind of love.
i don't know about anyone else, but i can't remember a time when i ever thought fitting in, or being normal was the goal or definition of success. in fact, when i get unmitigated validation and acceptance, i sort of assume i am doing something really wrong. : D
in that sense, i sort of love the diversity and varied oddities in this old place.
and to those who make me think, teach me stuff, and remind me of how God fits into almost every kind of topic and even the mundane, i thank you.
to those of you who actually make me laugh, i'm in your debt.
and to those who keep calling the singles forum the BD forum and tossing the flag at any sign of discussion or disagreement, you folks owe me some tylenol. : D
edited: i am soooooooooooooooo sorry about the loooooong post. to those who read it, i'm grateful. : )
her mom then called to ASK ME whether i thought her daughter was having sex, and what i knew about her relationships with other boys.
this woman was so angry. she wanted to punish a girl who is flailing, and in great need of so many of the stabilizing factors that kids deserve, and long for--such as a relationship with her father (and i'm also guessing, more one-on-one time with mom).
not that i am minimizing this situation. far from it. but the last thing i'd be feeling if this was my daughter is ANGER. more like, profound sadness and feelings of failure and disappointment--in myself.
perhaps what saddened me the most, was that mom's reaction of "how dare she!" while her conspicuous anger was entirely motivated by the daughter's alleged lack of birth control, and the resentment she held for her daughter risking major inconvenience and expense that would be incurred by the birth of a grandchild by her child.
she kept repeating to me things like:
she knows better!
we have talked about this!
the last thing i need is another child to take care of!
it's incredibly sad, because there is no real concern for her emotional vulnerability, needs, or the fact she is a child in a very difficult place right now. she has no contact with her father, and is being raised by a mom who has some pretty questionable social habits of her own.
yeah, those above are ACTUAL quotes. i sometimes wonder whether people even think about the damage of their words. as i've ruminated about it today, i couldn't help but wonder what would've happened to me, if i'd been that 13 year old girl, and my mom was dealing with me.
when i was growing up, i often heard some of the similar painful comments--usually in frustration and/or anger.
in these flashes of temper, we have an opportunity/risk that can cut right to the quick of the fragile, the unformed, the weak, and those desperately needing tenderness, love, and acceptance, regardless of their "messes". it's also so frustrating to me that often, it's those whom we love that receive the brunt of this callous treatment.
how mixed up is that? i'm so grateful that i've spent the majority of my life with the ability to steer clear of those who are emotionally irresponsible, and that i have learned to value the beauty of honest, vulnerable, and loving communication. and i'm so grateful that those closest to me treat me with that kind of tenderness.
to the parents: i really have no idea how you guys don't just take your kids and lock them up. or head for the hills of the most rural, secluded areas. if i were a parent, i'd have a really, REALLY hard time sending my kid to school, so they can be subject to those influences.
you have your work cut out for you. and i have so much admiration, and respect for those who seek to do the job with love and guidance--and teaching them about the value and consequence of their choices. it can't be easy.
the more i learn to know, and love these girls, i just see them all as youngsters who need to be protected, cherished, and reminded that they are worthy of so much, such as bright futures, true love, and the pursuit of every dream that occurs to them.
and to the rest of us, may you always be surrounded with loving words, and extend that same tenderness to those around you. i think for those of us who have experienced the difference, it's such a remarkable and extravagant kind of love.
i don't know about anyone else, but i can't remember a time when i ever thought fitting in, or being normal was the goal or definition of success. in fact, when i get unmitigated validation and acceptance, i sort of assume i am doing something really wrong. : D
in that sense, i sort of love the diversity and varied oddities in this old place.
and to those who make me think, teach me stuff, and remind me of how God fits into almost every kind of topic and even the mundane, i thank you.
to those of you who actually make me laugh, i'm in your debt.
and to those who keep calling the singles forum the BD forum and tossing the flag at any sign of discussion or disagreement, you folks owe me some tylenol. : D
edited: i am soooooooooooooooo sorry about the loooooong post. to those who read it, i'm grateful. : )
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Confession of the day: I have been waiting and waiting for this thread to die. I want it OFF the first two pages so I can stop getting it confused with Streams. I don't have enough brainpower to devote this much toward keeping threads straight in my head!
I want it OFF the first two pages so I can stop getting it confused with Streams. I don't have enough brainpower to devote this much toward keeping threads straight in my head!
This is sad. Some parents are just plain clueless as to how their actions can cause lasting damage to their children. Not sure if there's anything that can be done about it short of trying to talk sense into the parent, but that often ends up alienating the person instead of helping them see the light. I guess the only thing one can really do is pray about the situation.
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K
Confession of the day: I have been waiting and waiting for this thread to die. I want it OFF the first two pages so I can stop getting it confused with Streams. I don't have enough brainpower to devote this much toward keeping threads straight in my head!
I want it OFF the first two pages so I can stop getting it confused with Streams. I don't have enough brainpower to devote this much toward keeping threads straight in my head!
Tourists sez: What we have here is a flailure to communicate.
Hmm, this sounds eerily like the conversations taking place in the Monthly meetings of the National Association of Flatulists.
S
I guess we could call it a weapon. It was craptastic for defensive use, so it's not like one could call it a defensive arm.
Side note, the number of people who confuse a flail with a mace is ridiculous. I never ended up buying one but a few years ago I wanted a mace (I have no legitimate reason for it other than I wanted one). So many flails, so little maces.
Side note, the number of people who confuse a flail with a mace is ridiculous. I never ended up buying one but a few years ago I wanted a mace (I have no legitimate reason for it other than I wanted one). So many flails, so little maces.
