The Gift of Singleness (after divorce)
- Thread starter Grace-Like-Rain
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That's funny. 
A guy at my work once said, "Women have it easy. All they have to do is marry a rich guy and they're set up for life."
I said, "Yeah, I know. You won't believe how many rich guys ask me out every day. Why, I could open the door and throw a rock and hit a rich guy walking by." And we all laughed and laughed and laughed.
No one has it 'easy'. I have been single my entire life and all the men in my life know it (I work at a fire department...there are a lot of men) and no one asks me out. Why? Well, as God put it, it's because I am protected. That's right. Protected. He has me covered by His grace and mercy and love and guidance and protection and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't want a man, I want a godly man. I don't want what this world has, I want what God has. I don't want to be flirted with, hit on or asked out by the men that I see in this daily world, I want to be courted by one man and marry him, the one that God has for me. Everything else is distraction and noise.
I love being single. And, I hope I stay single for a long time.
A guy at my work once said, "Women have it easy. All they have to do is marry a rich guy and they're set up for life."
I said, "Yeah, I know. You won't believe how many rich guys ask me out every day. Why, I could open the door and throw a rock and hit a rich guy walking by." And we all laughed and laughed and laughed.
No one has it 'easy'. I have been single my entire life and all the men in my life know it (I work at a fire department...there are a lot of men) and no one asks me out. Why? Well, as God put it, it's because I am protected. That's right. Protected. He has me covered by His grace and mercy and love and guidance and protection and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't want a man, I want a godly man. I don't want what this world has, I want what God has. I don't want to be flirted with, hit on or asked out by the men that I see in this daily world, I want to be courted by one man and marry him, the one that God has for me. Everything else is distraction and noise.
I love being single. And, I hope I stay single for a long time.
I don't want a man, I want a godly man. I don't want what this world has, I want what God has. I don't want to be flirted with, hit on or asked out by the men that I see in this daily world, I want to be courted by one man and marry him, the one that God has for me. Everything else is distraction and noise.
K
I said, "Yeah, I know. You won't believe how many rich guys ask me out every day. Why, I could open the door and throw a rock and hit a rich guy walking by." And we all laughed and laughed and laughed.
My pastor recently did an awesome sermon on the gift of singleness. On how the church needs to come through for single people, accepting them and being their "family" without trying to "fix" them. It was enlightening. There's a woman in our church who said that ours is her church home mainly because no one ever looked at her different for being single, or tried to change her. It's just who she was, and no one thought a thing about it.
I wonder if people view singleness as a "curse" because that's how everyone treats it, including ourselves.
I wonder if people view singleness as a "curse" because that's how everyone treats it, including ourselves.
well im going through a divorce right now well its been a year where seperated on and off and i finally stopped it all of it and im proud of myself one day maybe in gods time i will find the men for me and i am 20 years old by the way and i got married at 18 bcause i was naiive still am but in gods grace and love i take my life now one day at a time not forgetting that im a big dreamer too...but still i keep my dreams in gods hands
one day maybe in gods time i will find the men for me and i am 20 years old by the way and i got married at 18 bcause i was naiive still am but in gods grace and love i take my life now one day at a time not forgetting that im a big dreamer too...but still i keep my dreams in gods hands 
I relate to this because it happened to me in January this year after 12 years of mariage. I know I'm divorced now even though it hasn't come through on paper. At first my mind, my life was turned upside down and inside out and the thought of life without my now ex-wife was devestating. And I also went through the "what if's"... What if it's because I'm meant to be with this one or that one and what if it was meant to happen so the mariage had to die and then be resurrected into what it should be, etc, etc, etc. I was looking for signs in everything and someone pointed out that it was because I'm trying to make sense of a completely sensless situation. Without going into detail, that comment from a friend made complete sense about the situation and how it all happened. To cut a long story short, after a very intense time I feel healing and am now at a place of contentment. There are days where I think it doesn't really bother me if I ever marry again or not and there are days where I think I'm kidding myself to think I don't want to marry again. Either way when I quiet myself to hear from God and get my thoughts and imagination out of the way to be willing to let Him guide me through whatever He has planned and leave it all in His hands, I feel content. And that's very important to me. So what my thoughts are on the "gift of singleness" and being "meant for marriage", I'm not really sure, but the gift of contentment is great and very important to me.
N
Such a pity, Nuke. Here I was going to give you the lifetime supply of nachos as your gift, but you chose singleness instead. One to a customer, sorry.
One to a customer, sorry.
It's no problem. I'd gladly give up nnaaa... I'd gladly give up nnaaaaac....I'd gladly cut back a bit on eating nachos if that's what it takes to stay single.
I'm so sorry this happened to you Yowie. I can really identify with the feelings you went through. I heal more and more everyday, but still find myself wondering what the heck happened. No warning signs, no red flags... it's still shocking to even think about after such a stable marriage. And there are no answers. (I hate not knowing things, lol.) God has given me a peek at how some small things are easier now though. My life has a lot less stress in it somehow. I don't know why. Also, when you're so in love with someone (especially from such a young age) you don't really see their flaws. Now with some distance it's easier to see ways that we weren't really compatible. I just never knew because I had nothing to compare it with. It was all I knew. It's ironic that I know so much more about marriage now that I'm not married anymore.
I know that one day I'll want to remarry. Right now I don't get that lonely because I have my daughters at home with me, but when they are grown and gone I'm sure I'll start feeling it more acutely. There are some (selfish probably) things that I do like about being single though. More free time. More freedom. Control of my finances. (He wasn't good at saving money.) The knowledge that I enjoy these little things makes me wonder if I'll be happy married. But I know that all men aren't like my ex-husband, and there may be one out there who compliments my personality perfectly, and vice versa. I guess we'll see!
Many blessings to you Yowie as you head into this unchartered territory, and your new life.
I know that one day I'll want to remarry. Right now I don't get that lonely because I have my daughters at home with me, but when they are grown and gone I'm sure I'll start feeling it more acutely. There are some (selfish probably) things that I do like about being single though. More free time. More freedom. Control of my finances. (He wasn't good at saving money.) The knowledge that I enjoy these little things makes me wonder if I'll be happy married. But I know that all men aren't like my ex-husband, and there may be one out there who compliments my personality perfectly, and vice versa. I guess we'll see!
Many blessings to you Yowie as you head into this unchartered territory, and your new life.
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