The Godly Man

[PopClick]

Cinder already said most of what I was going to say, but there are two points I still want to make.

A godly man will love everyone, not just his spouse/potential spouse. This is one thing that irks me... when someone (man or woman) has the attitude of "Are YOU my potential spouse? No? Well, then you can go burn." Jesus called us to love others, not just the ones who are interested in us. :eyeroll: And that doesn't need to change after marriage, either: I've seen married men look out for single people in the most godly, touching, proper way imaginable. There's nothing loving about only caring for those who will give you something in return.

A godly man is not to be confused with a pushover. And loving others doesn't mean letting them walk all over you, giving them whatever they want from you, and tolerating disrespect. Remember how Paul stuck up for himself when he was being beaten by the Romans? Being giving is part of being loving. But sometimes, giving somebody something will hurt instead of help. It's important to be wise and prayerful about generosity, and not just be a doormat.

 

[tourist]

I have a question. What does a godly man look like? What are his traits and characteristics? I'd like some biblical wisdom & reference on this. But, I'm more curious as to what a godly man looks like and what sort of impact that they have in today's society. Real life and current examples would be appreciated.

It seems that whenever a "godly man" is mentioned in the singles forums, it has this context of marriage tied to it/him. I'm really curious what these men look like after saying "I do." and how they conduct their lives in their relationship with God, their families and the people around them.

The men who are called to marriage have their place and worries. But what of those who remain single? Where do they fit in the Christianity-ruckus? What do we do for the glory of God? How do we exalt the "Father" in heaven? What is the purpose of our singledom? How do we exemplify a Christ-like attitude and have it mean something meaningful in today's Christian culture?

I am not sure if God calls anyone to marriage but I do believe that he prepares the heart for such an adventure. It is not a good thing to be all alone in the world and God, in his wisdom, makes provisions for physical and spiritual bliss for those that love him first and foremost.

 

[MsSpratt]

I have a question. What does a godly man look like? What are his traits and characteristics? I'd like some biblical wisdom & reference on this. But, I'm more curious as to what a godly man looks like and what sort of impact that they have in today's society. Real life and current examples would be appreciated.

It seems that whenever a "godly man" is mentioned in the singles forums, it has this context of marriage tied to it/him. I'm really curious what these men look like after saying "I do." and how they conduct their lives in their relationship with God, their families and the people around them.

The men who are called to marriage have their place and worries. But what of those who remain single? Where do they fit in the Christianity-ruckus? What do we do for the glory of God? How do we exalt the "Father" in heaven? What is the purpose of our singledom? How do we exemplify a Christ-like attitude and have it mean something meaningful in today's Christian culture?

well i like nerdy godly men. that's a good combination

 

[seoulsearch]

Godly men wear capes. All the time.

"NOOOO capes!!!" -- Edna "E" Mode, superhero fashion design extraordinaire (Disney's The Incredibles."

 

[Searching4Truth]

Ironically, I do own a blue cape. >_>

 

[IloveyouGod]

Agricola, I'm sorry all the women you've met were just wrong for you. It just mean it wasn't God's plan for you, period. But that does not mean that every woman who is looking for a Godly man is hunting unicorns. You are also looking for a Godly woman instead of an atheist this time, right? So can I say you are hunting unicorns? No. It just simply means that there is a true n' genuine Godly woman who is perfect for you and you are perfect for her but you guys haven't met each other yet, but one day you will.

For many women a Godly man is Jesus and if any man falls short of Jesus, they are not interested. I have been frustrated by the ridiculous attitudes of available women looking for a husband. Many have this image and mega long list of traits and attributes they think their husband should have.

One amazing woman who I would not have hesitated in marrying, I knew that God had pushed her in my direction, we started a good relationship, but after a month citing she could not marry someone who was divorced. Another ignored me when I told her I was available after she went on about how there seemed to be no available Christian men and she had no idea where to find one. I think she thought that as I had my daughter with me at church I was married. I could go on.

Trouble is, the person women create in their head is mythical and doesn't exist, well they do exist, it is Jesus. they might as well go unicorn hunting. Maybe this is why I ended up with an atheist in my first marriage she just loved being with me and loved me for who I was.

Maybe this is why I had 3 other women flirting with me over past 5 years, I am yearning for a wife, I want to love someone unconditionally again, I achieved it with my ex wife, but it was lost on her, so I was tempted to say yes, but I promised God I would only marry a Christian this time around.

So, if a woman says she is looking for a Godly man etc tell her that she will have more success hunting unicorns.

 

[IloveyouGod]

Agricola, when a genuine Godly woman wants a Godly man that doesn't mean it's an excuse for her to run out of the relationship because she's not attracted to the man's looks. It just simply means the man might not be Godly enough for her, that's all. Now speaking of looks. Both women and men has the right to be physically attracted to each other. Like I said, I'm talking about the looks. I don't mean sex of course. I don't believe in sex outside marriage at all. So exercising that right doesn't make either one of them shallow. But there has to be some sort of physical attraction, don't you think?

I wonder if one of the reasons is that it is a good excuse to reject someone as a potential partner instead of saying "you do not conform to the 5% of the worlds most beautiful" its easier to say "I want someone more Godly" rather than "you are too fat, bald, ugly" or whatever. Too many Christians are still stuck with the worlds idea of a partner, Christians should look more at the spirit instead of the outer body.

One sobering thought, dont want this to turn into theological argument, but what if when we die we will keep our earthly spouse as a heavenly spouse. Marry a non-beleiver and you end up with no-one in heaven.

 

[zeroturbulence]

A man's heart should be so hidden in God that a woman has to seek God to find him.

Oh no I di'int!!!

Oh yes I did!

 

[cinder]

A man's heart should be so hidden in God that a woman has to seek God to find him.

Oh no I di'int!!!

Oh yes I did!

But if everyone's hearts are lost in God, who is going to be left to do the seeking?

 

[Markum1972]

Most (not all) of the godly men I know are single.

I think the best example of godly men is laid out in scriptures. You will note that most (not all) of them were single also.

I think there is a couple of reasons for that. Firstly, I think that godly men are so focused on what it is that God wants them to do that they don't want to divide their time between pleasing God and pleasing a wife. Apostle Paul talks a bit about this.

Secondly, most (not all) of the godly men in scriptures and that I know are with godly women. While a godly man is willing to go and do whatever it is that God wants him to do, a godly woman is willing to also put her trust in God and her husband to follow. I think both godly men and women are a rare treasure for these reasons. While there are few men willing to leave behind everything (security, wealth, family, friends, etc...), there are also few women that would be willing to follow a husband called to this.

You can see some great examples in scripture:

Lot trusted the messengers that came to him to be messengers of God and was willing to leave all behind to do what they said. Lot's wife went with him (this was a big deal), but we know she eventually turned back.

Noah obeyed God despite looking like a crazy man. His wife went with him.

Abraham was sent to foreign lands not knowing what difficulties he would be facing. Sarah was not only supportive, but many times she was more fearless and bold.

Job repented to God despite his wife telling him to curse God and die because of his financial distress. She is never heard of again.

Joseph and Mary are one the best examples of two godly people that I can think of.

Adam, Samson, and Solomon all had weaknesses in compromising what God's will was for them for the affection of a woman/women. I call this Samsonitis. lol I have suffered from this myself.

Jeremiah had a mate chosen for him (he wasn't the only one though). The mate chosen was not only not the ideal mate for a person serving God (Christian mate as we would call it today) but not a mate that was even socially acceptable to the culture of that time. However through Jeremiah's relationship with his wife, he was better able to understand God's relationship with his people. I can see how his efforts to get through to his wife would have helped him be more passionate towards getting through to Israel.

Just some thoughts and examples on the topic.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

why do you have to feel protected, this isn't the days of cave men.

I think cinder is making an excellent point, she just isn't articulating her meaning very well. Correct me if I'm wrong here Cinder......but I think her point is more so that Men aren't very masculine these days. Masculinity is missing for the most part, and that's something that is needed. I think her perspective goes a lot deeper than just feeling safe.

 

[zeroturbulence]

But if everyone's hearts are lost in God, who is going to be left to do the seeking?

It's just an old quote that I twisted around by putting 'man' where it said 'woman' in the original quote.

 

[Arlene89]

"NOOOO capes!!!" -- Edna "E" Mode, superhero fashion design extraordinaire (Disney's The Incredibles."

Oh man, I love that movie! On a completely different side note...

 

[just_monicat]

i really like what several have shared about this topic.

to add to the previous points:

one thing i most value about being around godly men is that they encourage me to be a godly woman. even if i don't know them that well, their impact is felt, whether they are 19 or 79.

by speaking truth and honesty, and simply being themselves.

not by being perfect, but by being willing to be honest in their flaws as well.

we love our godly brothers. : )

and finally, as to the question asked by the op, below are some of my favorite passages speaking directly to "walking worthy of our calling". or, part of the 'godly man blueprint'.


Ephesians 4:1-4

I therefore, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to God’s service,
2 Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.
3 Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace.
4 [There is] one body and one Spirit—just as there is also one hope [that belongs] to the calling you received—

romans 12:10-16

10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
11 Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord.
12 Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.
13 Contribute to the needs of God’s people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].
16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.

 

[seoulsearch]

Godly men wear capes. All the time.

"NOOOO capes!!!" -- Edna "E" Mode, superhero fashion design extraordinaire (Disney's The Incredibles."

Capes may be out (if you own one, we won't tell Edna , but fortunately, tights and leotards are in.

 

[Jonathan1977]

I saw what was said about men being passive. I am considered to be passive, but I will stand up to protect others. I think there is a difference between passive and not manly.

 

[cinder]

Originally Posted by sc81

why do you have to feel protected, this isn't the days of cave men.

I think cinder is making an excellent point, she just isn't articulating her meaning very well. Correct me if I'm wrong here Cinder......but I think her point is more so that Men aren't very masculine these days. Masculinity is missing for the most part, and that's something that is needed. I think her perspective goes a lot deeper than just feeling safe.

You got it kind of right donkey fish. What I'm trying to say is something that is very hard to articulate, but I have known a few guys who have just like a reassuring presence. They don't have to say anything specific, but just have that aura of strength and that as far as it depends on them they are going to take responsibility if things go bad. I'm actually one who is so used to being independent that when a guy tries to look out for me and be protective I push back (especially if he manages to inadvertently communicate any kind of need or insufficiency on my part). But here's the secret I've recently learned about myself, if a guy insists on looking out for me and being the protector and doesn't back down when I try to push that away, it actually gives me the freedom to be less guarded. So what I mean by feeling safe is something along the lines of the freedom to let my guard down and be a bit more real. To know that someone else is watching out for me and will step in if they see something going wrong so therefore I don't have to spend all my energy watching out for me.

 

[seoulsearch]

why do you have to feel protected, this isn't the days of cave men.

Everyone, to some extent, wants to feel protected. Why? Because there is a lot of bad stuff out there.

For example, let's say a woman is being sexually harassed, through no fault of her own, by a co-worker--and this happens all the time to both genders. A co-worker may be making inappropriate comments, "bumping" up against her, implying things that should not be said to someone, etc.

Women want to know that if they came home and reported this to their husbands, he would be behind her 100% in getting it taken care of. A whole host of other factors might come into play: what if they need that job to support the family? Will he be supportive of her quitting? Will he expect her to endure it? Will he tell her that maybe she just "misunderstood" or was "exaggerating"? Will he say, "Maybe you can get transferred to another department or just avoid that person because we really need the extra money"? Will he be willing to sacrifice with her if she loses her job, in order to keep her safe? Will he go to bat for her and be behind her all the way if they have to take it to court? (As we all know, court is expensive.)

Women deal with things like this as singles and they want to know that if they have a man, he'll be part of a network of protection in their lives. (By the way, this scenario did happen to a friend of mine and it got very ugly because it was her boss that was harassing her... Preying on the fact that her young family needed her to have this job. And yes, they did go to court.)

What if the woman gets cancer? Will he stand by her side? Will he help her research the best treatments and care, and be there to look after her when she gets sick? I have a friend whom this happened to and she went to all her doctor's appointments and chemo BY HERSELF. And her husband eventually left her for someone else. Yup, I know it can go both ways. But maybe it's just because I'm a woman, I've heard of a lot more cases of terminal illness in which the man left the woman vs. the woman leaving the man. A woman wants to know a man will be there looking out for her.

Women want to know a man will be in her corner because the world will throw a lot of bad things at them. And likewise with men... Men want to know a woman will balance out and support their decisions.

 

[seoulsearch]

Sorry, ran out of time in the 5-minute edit.

One night in Singles Chat, some of the single women and I were talking about the fact that when it's known you are a younger single woman, men (in particular, older men, married or not) feel the liberty to touch you at church. They bear hug you when you don't feel comfortable being hugged by them, put their hand on your shoulder in such a way that they are touching your entire upper body--and an older man once even kissed me on the mouth--not at church but in a WORK setting. It was his last day and when I went to tell him congratulations, he just pulled me in and WHAMMO. Caught me COMPLETELY off guard and I was shaking with shock.

For some reason, some men see single women like us as being vulnerable, and they feel they can get away with giving these overdone and often completely uncalled for touches (why do I say they're often inappropriate? Because you don't see them touching the married women the way they touch us.)

I want to know that if God blesses me with a good Godly guy, he will stand up for me, stand guard with me, and be able to say, "She's with me, and you have no business touching her like that," whether in church or in the world.

 

[proverbs35]

More than likely, most men - Christian and non-Christian - have a "list" as it relates to a prospective bride. After all, Solomon did write about the Pr 31 woman.

Solomon wrote and/or collected Proverbs and passed that wisdom along to his son(s). He was a well rounded teacher. He taught his son(s) about the disadvantages of being foolish. He admonished his son(s) to exercise wisdom. Then, at the end of Proverbs, he made sure his son(s) understood the description and value of a virtuous wife. In many Christian circles, men (and women) are taught the value of the Pr 31 woman. However, Solomon also described the Man of Noble Character, and that description often gets left out of the conversation.

Note: Older translations of the Bible used the words He or Man in these verses.

Man of Noble Character found scattered throughout Proverbs
A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of
understanding will acquire wise counsel. Pr 1:5
Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Pr 9:8
Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a
righteous man and he will increase his learning. Pr 9:9
...a man of understanding holds his peace. Pro11:12
The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be
watered. Pr 11:25
A good man will obtain favor from the LORD. Pr 12:2
A wise man is he who listens to counsel. Pr 12:15
A prudent man overlooks an insult. Pr 12:16
A righteous man hates falsehood... Pr 13:5
Every prudent man acts with knowledge. Pr 13:16
He who walks with wise men will be wise. Pr 13:20
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. Pr 13:22
The sensible man considers his steps. Pr 14:15
A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil. Pr 14:16
He who is slow to anger has great understanding. Pr 14:29
A man of understanding walks straight. Pr 15:21
...he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Pr 17:27.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness. Pr 19:22
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers Pr 19:14
A righteous man who walks in his integrity-- How blessed are his sons
after him. Pr 20:7
A wise man scales the city of the mighty And brings down the
stronghold in which they trust. Pr 21:22
A prudent man sees danger, and hides himself... Pr 22:3, 27:12
A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. Pr 24:5
For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked
stumble in time of calamity. Pr 24:16
A faithful man will abound with blessings, But he who makes haste to
be rich will not go unpunished. Pr 28:20
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Pr 29:11

Of course, these verses apply to women too. Just like many of the virtues used to describe the Pr 31 woman also apply to men.