Here's my list of unwritten laws for dating:
1. Don't take too many bathroom breaks or take too long when you do. (unless you're a woman... then go for it!)
2. If you start feeling nervous, just start singing the intro to 'Circle of Life' from Lion King...
3. If she seems bored at dinner, grab a few napkins and make a small bonfire on your table.
4. If she says she wants to go home, tell her you're really an undercover cop trying to protect her because they think she may be the next victim of a serial killer.
5. Don't make any bodily noises... unless you're in a crowded elevator.
6. Don't tell her if her perfume's too strong... just turn your head every few seconds to take a breath.
7. Last but not least... Do not look at other women
...if you can't resist the urge, hide your eyes so she won't notice and do it like this..