What do women want? Chocolate! Adventure! Coffee! Shoes! Security! Love! Cats!

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,558
17,027
113
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Tennessee
#61
Since I didn't see a restriction to men posting, may I?

I find myself thinking, far more often, "What does she need from me?", than, "What does she want?".
Honestly, women don't need anything from men. There are plenty of strong independent single women, including on this site (see Lady Blue) that would tell you they don't need a man to provide anything. It's more about what does she want rather than need.
Want or need? I might have to toss a coin. Or, to be on the safe side, I'll ask my wife.
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#62
I could do with chocolate, coffee and cats...

Who needs love when you have these?
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#63
You know, as a strong independent woman, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree.

If you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I have the first two levels covered. My basic physiological needs are met, as are my safety needs. I'm a first-world woman who lives in a safe area of the country. I have an education and work in a stable field, so the basics are all sorted.

However, that leaves three whole other levels of need where the involvement of men is very useful to me--namely, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

I need men in my life to give me a sense of love and belonging. Certainly, I can get that to a degree from women, but men are half the planet. I want to have a sense of love and belonging from the breadth of humanity.

Also, there are significant ways that men can address esteem issues that women simply cannot. It's not that the input of women doesn't matter regarding esteem. It's just that we need to develop confidence and competency in many areas of our lives. There are some areas that are best addressed by men.

When it comes to self-actualization, I've found men to be particularly helpful to me. There are ways that men have seen and cultivated my potential that women have not. It's not that women are inadequate. We just see the world with different eyes. There's a way that men push and say, "Is that all you've got?" that makes you dig a little deeper and do more than you anticipated you could.

These are real NEEDS in my life...not wants. In the absence of these needs being met, I suffer. It pains me if I don't have a sense of love and belonging from men. There are areas where my confidence is slipshod or very thin without the input of men. And there are things I'd probably consider, but not push myself to try were it not for the encouragement of men. So far as I'm concerned, men have a great deal to contribute in meeting the needs of women--it just may not be the low-level needs that they anticipate.
l know all about Maslow. Psychology 101. We all have needs, including men. My point was that there are women that can do just fine without having a man, as God shows that by not giving each woman said man.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#65
See I would say I'd want a woman the same way...but we have to be cautious of looking just at the heart as it can be deceitful and such...but all in all if we as Christians ask God to guide our heart and our feelings allowing him to take control as opposed to our heart controlling us then one should do very well :)

That's why the Bible talks about guiding your heart. If we do everything what God says to do in His Word, we wouldn't have these issues. But we're all imperfect so of course these issues are bound to happen.
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#67
l know all about Maslow. Psychology 101. We all have needs, including men. My point was that there are women that can do just fine without having a man, as God shows that by not giving each woman said man.
I'm not trying to be contentious, but not having a husband doesn't mean you don't need men. Even people who are called to be single have need of input and involvement with the opposite gender. Not having a husband doesn't mean her life is devoid of fathers, brothers, male friends, etc. That's why I was careful in my post to not make it about having a husband, but about having the input of men to meet various needs.


 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#68
I'm not trying to be contentious, but not having a husband doesn't mean you don't need men. Even people who are called to be single have need of input and involvement with the opposite gender. Not having a husband doesn't mean her life is devoid of fathers, brothers, male friends, etc. That's why I was careful in my post to not make it about having a husband, but about having the input of men to meet various needs.



I see what you're saying now. And I agree, it's important for women to have men in their lives. Even if it's not a spouse, just like men need to have women in their lives. God wants us to develop some sort of relationship with the opposite gender, even if it's not romantic. Family, friend, coworker, Bible study partner, whatever. I think there was a little confusion on my part, because I was looking at it from the romantic relationship perspective, as I thought that's what the topic was about.
 
Jul 25, 2015
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#70
While I have a fantastic career that I worked hard to obtain and can easily provide a very comfortable life for myself I still feel as though I need a man to provide or meet other areas of my life that remain slightly unmet. Please notice the word slightly. I am able to have a level of compaionship needs met through family, friends, pets but there is a deeper longing to be "known" at an intimate level that only a spouse can provide. It is a strong need/ache/desire that is a need. Of course I will be able to live without it but nonetheless it remains an unfulfilled need. As a woman I would want the Godly man of character and substance all women want on this site but it would thrill me to find this man also has a full rich life of his own. That he could offer his passions, insights, and experiences for us to share. Our combined lives would bolster our current situations on all levels. Of course if he could recognize that Im beautiful, hilarious, witty, strong and quite charming that would be icing on the cake!! Lol.
 
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
38
0
#71
While I have a fantastic career that I worked hard to obtain and can easily provide a very comfortable life for myself I still feel as though I need a man to provide or meet other areas of my life that remain slightly unmet. Please notice the word slightly. I am able to have a level of compaionship needs met through family, friends, pets but there is a deeper longing to be "known" at an intimate level that only a spouse can provide. It is a strong need/ache/desire that is a need. Of course I will be able to live without it but nonetheless it remains an unfulfilled need. As a woman I would want the Godly man of character and substance all women want on this site but it would thrill me to find this man also has a full rich life of his own. That he could offer his passions, insights, and experiences for us to share. Our combined lives would bolster our current situations on all levels. Of course if he could recognize that Im beautiful, hilarious, witty, strong and quite charming that would be icing on the cake!! Lol.
I second this.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,378
113
#72
Women... Some women... Er... This woman... wants very much to post another parody thread of the "Men Only" thread.

I'd like to say I'm a person of strong self-discipline.

But I'm finding it harder and harder to resist, especially when I have an idea.
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#74
Women... Some women... Er... This woman... wants very much to post another parody thread of the "Men Only" thread.

I'd like to say I'm a person of strong self-discipline.

But I'm finding it harder and harder to resist, especially when I have an idea.

Do it! Do it...
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#79
I currently want food. Lol