What do women want? Guys only!

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Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
#381
Jun 23, 2011
949
43
28
#381
A man that can lead. This means morally this man can make good moral decisions. This means the practice of good judgement, patience, discernment, love, mercy... etc. This makes him a good leader and trust worthy.

Closely related to this... she also wants a man that can stand up for her and those beliefs. A man that can protect. Think of David facing Goliath. Men, I'd say... were created to protect their community. This is, I believe, part of manhood.

On a more social level, when someone is rude... lies... or acts like a jack ass...I also think men (the ideal kind of men anyways) should verbally protect and stand up as-well.

Next, I also think its part of manhood to be hard workers and provide for family.

I also think women have emotional needs to be fullfilled. They want to feel good. That's why they like funny guys.... then again who doesn't? Still, I think they need to feel good somehow... maybe this can be fullfilled via humor, romance, or maybe just her just feeling "safe"with you.

I also think women are attracted to a man who shows consistency. It makes them feel like you'd be reliable and that you'd be "safe."

That's what I think so far... watcha peoples think?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#382
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#382
I know what women want... the problem's just that they don't want it from me. -_-

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Mitspa

Guest
#383
#383
zoii said:
Well Mitspa - I know better than to speak for anyone else's country. But yes Domestic violence is an issue in Australia and breaches of restraining orders are ridiculously common. I do know the US stats on this and am happy to post them for you if you'd like.
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If its important to you...I live here and I don't know any guys who have this issue ...you hear about it ...but its not the norm here. Maybe you could go along with the intent of the thread and figure out why some women get involved with guys that are clearly no good for them?
 
PoetMary

PoetMary

Banned
#385
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#385
Mitspa said:
Maybe you could go along with the intent of the thread and figure out why some women get involved with guys that are clearly no good for them?
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The idea that a woman can look at a man and instantly spot an abuser is rather silly. Most abusers do not advertise their bad side. So, the idea that a woman knows a man is an abuser and gets involved with him anyway is a rare scenario.

It's easy to Monday-morning-quarterback these situations, but they're not so clear-cut as 20/20 hindsight would imply.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
#386
#386
PoetMary said:

The idea that a woman can look at a man and instantly spot an abuser is rather silly. Most abusers do not advertise their bad side. So, the idea that a woman knows a man is an abuser and gets involved with him anyway is a rare scenario.

It's easy to Monday-morning-quarterback these situations, but they're not so clear-cut as 20/20 hindsight would imply.
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Look ...I didn't want to bring up the issue...its not the intention of the thread. But since our friend zoii brought the issue up...I thought I would put it in perspective. Many of us "nice" guys have often wondered why some women date jerks that everybody knows are jerks? Then to try and make some charge against us nice guys ...is just wrong.
 
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blondieindahouse

Banned
#387
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#387
Mitspa said:
Look ...I didn't want to bring up the issue...its not the intention of the thread. But since our friend zoii brought the issue up...I thought I would put it in perspective. Many of us "nice" guys have often wondered why some women date jerks that everybody knows are jerks? Then to try and make some charge against us nice guys ...is just wrong.
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Women date jerks because they do not know who they are in Christ or they arent in Christ at all. They have a poor self worth evaluation of themselves. Until a person does the work to identify the pattern they repeat over and over again;they will not ever have or desire a nice man because dating jerks fulfills their sickness. And furthermore; a woman who has been rejected will in turn reject good men if she doesnt work on healing through self awareness and Gods intervention.

The red flags of abusers are apparent almost asap. One must train themselves to spot these things. Its not rocket science. A smart woman will ask God to reveal the man before a date is ever ventured into. A few phone calls with asking the right questions is adequate for me. People will always reveal who they are by what they say. Always.
I can see the red flags immediately in a man because I was married to an abuser and I not only see the signs but I feel them in my spirit. A man walking according to the spirit will not send up red flags but instead the spirit will be in one accord.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#388
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#388
blondieindahouse said:

Women date jerks because they do not know who they are in Christ or they arent in Christ at all. They have a poor self worth evaluation of themselves. Until a person does the work to identify the pattern they repeat over and over again;they will not ever have or desire a nice man because dating jerks fulfills their sickness. And furthermore; a woman who has been rejected will in turn reject good men if she doesnt work on healing through self awareness and Gods intervention.

The red flags of abusers are apparent almost asap. One must train themselves to spot these things. Its not rocket science. A smart woman will ask God to reveal the man before a date is ever ventured into. A few phone calls with asking the right questions is adequate for me. People will always reveal who they are by what they say. Always.
I can see the red flags immediately in a man because I was married to an abuser and I not only see the signs but I feel them in my spirit. A man walking according to the spirit will not send up red flags but instead the spirit will be in one accord.
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I'm gonna have to disagree just a little, but Christian girls also date jerks. They want to try and get them to Christ, and also some have daddy issues, so of course they're going to go for the jerks because that's what they know.. Whereas they leave the "good, Christian guy" on the side, til it goes poorly with the jerk, and they think the Christian guy will be like the jerk, so they break the friendship with the Christian guy. Not all Christian girls are like this, but in reality, quite a few are no different than ones that aren't Christians. I'm probably going to get some responses to this, but it is the truth.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#389
#389
blondieindahouse said:

Women date jerks because they do not know who they are in Christ or they arent in Christ at all. They have a poor self worth evaluation of themselves. Until a person does the work to identify the pattern they repeat over and over again;they will not ever have or desire a nice man because dating jerks fulfills their sickness. And furthermore; a woman who has been rejected will in turn reject good men if she doesnt work on healing through self awareness and Gods intervention.

The red flags of abusers are apparent almost asap. One must train themselves to spot these things. Its not rocket science. A smart woman will ask God to reveal the man before a date is ever ventured into. A few phone calls with asking the right questions is adequate for me. People will always reveal who they are by what they say. Always.
I can see the red flags immediately in a man because I was married to an abuser and I not only see the signs but I feel them in my spirit. A man walking according to the spirit will not send up red flags but instead the spirit will be in one accord.
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Look I hear what your saying...but it don't take a super saint to figure out that some women seem to be attracted to jerks...again I didn't want to discuss this issue ...but if its brought up , it should be discussed with some honesty.
 
B

blondieindahouse

Banned
#390
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#390
jsr1221 said:
I'm gonna have to disagree just a little, but Christian girls also date jerks. They want to try and get them to Christ, and also some have daddy issues, so of course they're going to go for the jerks because that's what they know.. Whereas they leave the "good, Christian guy" on the side, til it goes poorly with the jerk, and they think the Christian guy will be like the jerk, so they break the friendship with the Christian guy. Not all Christian girls are like this, but in reality, quite a few are no different than ones that aren't Christians. I'm probably going to get some responses to this, but it is the truth.
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You didnt disagree but rather you agreed with different words.
You did understand my words right?
The girls you speak of are those whom need help in identifying who they really are in Christ and those whom repeat patterns that stem from unhealthy circumstances they have lived
 
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blondieindahouse

Banned
#391
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#391
Mitspa said:
Look I hear what your saying...but it don't take a super saint to figure out that some women seem to be attracted to jerks...again I didn't want to discuss this issue ...but if its brought up , it should be discussed with some honesty.
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Super saint? Where did that come from? I was explaining why women choose what they choose. They need help. They do not choose well. And for your consideration, I am NOT bashing women but I am explaining disfunction. I merely responded to what you said. I am being honest btw
 
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jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#393
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#393
blondieindahouse said:
You didnt disagree but rather you agreed with different words.
You did understand my words right?
The girls you speak of are those whom need help in identifying who they really are in Christ and those whom repeat patterns that stem from unhealthy circumstances they have lived
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I read it as that you were referring to girls that didn't know Christ.. My apologies. I was just pointing out that girls under Christ can, do, and will do this all the time. Not much difference.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#394
#394
blondieindahouse said:
Super saint? Where did that come from? I was explaining why women choose what they choose. They need help. They do not choose well
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Sorry didn't understand your post ...don't think jsr did either?
 
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blondieindahouse

Banned
#395
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#395
tourist said:
Yep, that about sizes it up. You nailed it.
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In a nutshell; women want to feel safe.

I penned a saying that explains me to a T.

If I trust 100% in > who a man is and what he stands for; I in return will respect him 100% and I will follow him wherever he wants me to go...
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#396
#396
To be fair it's very difficult to know someone until you actually live with them, that is when you get the full picture - warts 'n' all, too late to bail out then. Men (and women) only display their best side when dating. A sad but true fact...or maybe we women are easily deceived, or convince ourselves only focusing on the good because we are so in love. Over a period of years or decades people change quite a bit and it's easy to grow apart from each other, of course when you have God at the centre you do tend to work better at these differences but when you are simply living for yourself the easy option is simply to give up. Yes I'm talking from experience!
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#397
#397
MadParrotWoman said:
To be fair it's very difficult to know someone until you actually live with them, that is when you get the full picture - warts 'n' all, too late to bail out then. Men (and women) only display their best side when dating. A sad but true fact...or maybe we women are easily deceived, or convince ourselves only focusing on the good because we are so in love. Over a period of years or decades people change quite a bit and it's easy to grow apart from each other, of course when you have God at the centre you do tend to work better at these differences but when you are simply living for yourself the easy option is simply to give up. Yes I'm talking from experience!
Click to expand...
When I think about many of the women that have gotten into abusive relationships...I think that very often there are clear warnings signs beforehand ...and often it appears that some women are even attracted to men that are clearly not good men.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#398
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#398
blondieindahouse said:
In a nutshell; women want to feel safe.

I penned a saying that explains me to a T.

If I trust 100% in > who a man is and what he stands for; I in return will respect him 100% and I will follow him wherever he wants me to go...
Click to expand...
That in part lies the problem, though.
 
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blondieindahouse

Banned
#399
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#399
MadParrotWoman said:
To be fair it's very difficult to know someone until you actually live with them, that is when you get the full picture - warts 'n' all, too late to bail out then. Men (and women) only display their best side when dating. A sad but true fact...or maybe we women are easily deceived, or convince ourselves only focusing on the good because we are so in love. Over a period of years or decades people change quite a bit and it's easy to grow apart from each other, of course when you have God at the centre you do tend to work better at these differences but when you are simply living for yourself the easy option is simply to give up. Yes I'm talking from experience!
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I hear ya. I do not date :) But, I dont agree that you have to live with a person to truly know them. God will provide that understanding if I truly have faith that he will. God will put me on the right path to the one who will court me. What I learned is to not trust my heart as God has told us that they will deceive us. I also learned to not sow towards my flesh but to sow towards the spirit. I trust that God knows far better than I with whom I need to be with so I look for his leading. I learned from experience as well that God has to be the main love and main focus with both the guy and gal. I also look for a man to lead me gently and know more of Gods word than I do. We buried in Christ should only consider those men whose fruit is that of the spirit moreso than of the flesh. I can see from my past that I went ahead of God and didnt ask him anything! I wont make that mistake again. Ive had plenty of opportunities to do so but I will remain single if thats Gods plan rather than living with the wrong one again.
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#400
#400
Mitspa said:
When I think about many of the women that have gotten into abusive relationships...I think that very often there are clear warnings signs beforehand ...and often it appears that some women are even attracted to men that are clearly not good men.
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It is true some women are attracted to "bad boys", I don't know why that it, maybe they like the unpredictability or maybe they see it as a challenge to think they can tame him. Maybe it's just excitement they are chasing? Personally I'm more attracted to someone who is kind, someone with a good heart. It's impossible to generalise. Like men, women are individuals.
 
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