What is "into", "like", "flirting", "being serious"?

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T

toinena

Guest
#1
I have never really understood men. Sometimes I think they flirt, but they say they don't.

Once a man that I loved deeply, just went silent and disappeared when I said in a half shy way that he flirted.... what I meant to say, I think, was that I was flattered.
I am lousy taking a compliment. I can understand a man is into me 5 years too late. And if I think they flirt, they don't .

Men complain that women are not enough straight forward.... why is it that I find men enigmatic?

Sometimes my friend says to me "didn't you notice he likes you?" I had no idea.

Oh course it might be they were never into me in the first place.... and everything was wishful thinking.

So. My question here to all men.... how can I know if you are sincere, when are you just playing, and when don't you give a nickel if I existed or not?

And if some of the women can tell me how to know, or not to know, I would like to hear that, too.
 

Faith-n-Christ

Senior Member
May 12, 2016
443
365
63
#2
Girl, you got me. there have been several times, I could not tell if a guy was serious or joking. If you find the answer be sure and share.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
I have never really understood men. Sometimes I think they flirt, but they say they don't.

Once a man that I loved deeply, just went silent and disappeared when I said in a half shy way that he flirted.... what I meant to say, I think, was that I was flattered.
I am lousy taking a compliment. I can understand a man is into me 5 years too late. And if I think they flirt, they don't .

Men complain that women are not enough straight forward.... why is it that I find men enigmatic?

Sometimes my friend says to me "didn't you notice he likes you?" I had no idea.

Oh course it might be they were never into me in the first place.... and everything was wishful thinking.

So. My question here to all men.... how can I know if you are sincere, when are you just playing, and when don't you give a nickel if I existed or not?

And if some of the women can tell me how to know, or not to know, I would like to hear that, too.
I'll give the same answer I do in Every gender oriented question. There is no single answer.
It, like everything with people, comes down to the individual. Or some people tend to fall into loose categories.
Some men will be direct and upfront. Others may take more time. Some may be shy. Some enjoy playing games. It depends on the guy.

And it's not really a guy issue that you don't see it. One of my ex's used to get flirted with from time to time and she was always oblivious. She didn't view herself as someone men would be interested in so she never looked for it.
Often times it took me showing her and explaining it before it clicked. And even then she would still be doubtful. But it was plain as day to me.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#5
As a single woman, I had no idea how to flirt. And I never knew if a guy liked me. Correction: I always had it wrong lol.

A guy I thought liked me, years later, I found out he’s gay. A guy I liked but I thought he wasn’t interested, I found out later he did like me.

So needless to say, I misinterpreted errthing. With my husband, it was all God cuz I surely didn’t know Lololol.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,271
113
#6
Girl, you got me. there have been several times, I could not tell if a guy was serious or joking. If you find the answer be sure and share.
Some men thought i was married cause o talked so comfortably with them and didnt flirt..
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,685
13,373
113
#7
I have never really understood men. Sometimes I think they flirt, but they say they don't.

Once a man that I loved deeply, just went silent and disappeared when I said in a half shy way that he flirted.... what I meant to say, I think, was that I was flattered.
I am lousy taking a compliment. I can understand a man is into me 5 years too late. And if I think they flirt, they don't .

Men complain that women are not enough straight forward.... why is it that I find men enigmatic?

Sometimes my friend says to me "didn't you notice he likes you?" I had no idea.

Oh course it might be they were never into me in the first place.... and everything was wishful thinking.

So. My question here to all men.... how can I know if you are sincere, when are you just playing, and when don't you give a nickel if I existed or not?

And if some of the women can tell me how to know, or not to know, I would like to hear that, too.
I'd suggest your list of possibilities is missing a large option: simply friendly and not looking, and have neither interest nor disinterest in romantic attachment.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#8
I have never really understood men. Sometimes I think they flirt, but they say they don't.

Once a man that I loved deeply, just went silent and disappeared when I said in a half shy way that he flirted.... what I meant to say, I think, was that I was flattered.
I am lousy taking a compliment. I can understand a man is into me 5 years too late. And if I think they flirt, they don't .

Men complain that women are not enough straight forward.... why is it that I find men enigmatic?

Sometimes my friend says to me "didn't you notice he likes you?" I had no idea.

Oh course it might be they were never into me in the first place.... and everything was wishful thinking.

So. My question here to all men.... how can I know if you are sincere, when are you just playing, and when don't you give a nickel if I existed or not?

And if some of the women can tell me how to know, or not to know, I would like to hear that, too.
Two things:
1. Our understanding of the opposite sex and what their intentions are.

2. The spiritual understanding and discernment given by God and what the real intention is.

I firstly tend to try and observe his motives in the way he acts, speaks and responds. I’d seek God if I feel that I’m in a place of confusion and what the guy is really wanting - but most of the time it’s pretty obvious (from the guys I’ve met).
 

egeiro

Senior Member
Mar 17, 2015
331
44
28
#13
Being married now, I look back and think, "Why did I take things so seriously? Why did I worry about things so much?"

I spent so much time worrying, conversing with friends about what meant what, lulling things over in my head late at night. Now I'm married to this amazing man who is over and beyond what I could have imagined for myself making the last 27 years of my single life look stupidly hilarious.

Why? I didn't take him seriously. I didn't take us seriously. Not in a mean way, I was very serious about respecting him, respecting myself and openly communicating to him. And it wasn't like I was some uninterested hard to chase trophy for him either. I don't know, it just seemed to roll along like an unraveling ball of string, effortlessly leaving a trail.

I just kept going because it was comfortable. It wasn't a hard fight like I was used to. His idea of flirting was to walk up to me, say "Hi", and just stand there with puppy dog eyes while I filled in the small blanks with short talk. He didn't have a flirtatious bone in his body (which is so weird looking at us being married now and always advancing towards each other). But he was so true to his desire to move towards me. And I just knew it was genuine and unwavering, so I met him there and then we moved together openly and honestly with a whole lot of silly fun along the way.

I had never known to be pursued like this but something about it was so gentle but adamant. Even after he won me and took my hand in marriage he hasn't stopped. But looking back now, all that seriousness I had going in my head just seemed so meaningless. If I could go back I'd tell myself to be less serious, let it bear fruit if it wants to bear fruit, and if it doesn't, know at the end of the day you respected yourself, you respected the other person and be thankful you at least you tried.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,030
3,257
113
#14
Being married now, I look back and think, "Why did I take things so seriously? Why did I worry about things so much?"
Wait a minute, when did this happen??

**stop and thinks for a minute**

Ahhhhhhh, I believe I understand the extended hiatus from this place.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#15
Some men thought i was married cause o talked so comfortably with them and didnt flirt..
They probably didn't noticed too that you were not wearing a wedding ring on your left hand. When I was single that's the first thing that I looked for. Flirting is a good technique to let someone know that they may be interested in you.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,271
113
#16
They probably didn't noticed too that you were not wearing a wedding ring on your left hand. When I was single that's the first thing that I looked for. Flirting is a good technique to let someone know that they may be interested in you.
I think more women are apt to wear thier wedding rings then men..so if i saw a guy...looked for him wearing a ring..id have 50/50 chance in knowing if he was married :(
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#17
I think more women are apt to wear their wedding rings then men..so if i saw a guy...looked for him wearing a ring..id have 50/50 chance in knowing if he was married :(
I used to wear a wedding ring but it is kind of loose and I don't want to lose it. I can get it sized but the next smaller size would have it a bit too tight. Maybe I can just wear it on my days off from work. It doesn't matter really as I don't flirt and have no desire to do so as I am a happily married man. Now, when I was single that's a different story altogether but only to the occasional woman that I found attractive, took an interest in, and wanted to know more about her. I could take a hint however, and if it was obvious that the feelings were not reciprocated I would quickly lose interest and chalk it up to her loss and my gain.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,271
113
#18
I used to wear a wedding ring but it is kind of loose and I don't want to lose it. I can get it sized but the next smaller size would have it a bit too tight. Maybe I can just wear it on my days off from work. It doesn't matter really as I don't flirt and have no desire to do so as I am a happily married man. Now, when I was single that's a different story altogether but only to the occasional woman that I found attractive, took an interest in, and wanted to know more about her. I could take a hint however, and if it was obvious that the feelings were not reciprocated I would quickly lose interest and chalk it up to her loss and my gain.
They have ring inserts that go inside the band to help fit finger..especially great for men with big knuckles but smaller finger base
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#20
I have never really understood men. Sometimes I think they flirt, but they say they don't.

Once a man that I loved deeply, just went silent and disappeared when I said in a half shy way that he flirted.... what I meant to say, I think, was that I was flattered.
I am lousy taking a compliment. I can understand a man is into me 5 years too late. And if I think they flirt, they don't .

Men complain that women are not enough straight forward.... why is it that I find men enigmatic?

Sometimes my friend says to me "didn't you notice he likes you?" I had no idea.

Oh course it might be they were never into me in the first place.... and everything was wishful thinking.

So. My question here to all men.... how can I know if you are sincere, when are you just playing, and when don't you give a nickel if I existed or not?

And if some of the women can tell me how to know, or not to know, I would like to hear that, too.
Well this could just be me but i don't really hang out with females I'm not related to anymore just because it tends to confuse feelings and just keeping myself away from amkung connections with women that i should only have with my wife so in my case if i hang around you a lot i probably like you or at least want to learn more about you cuz im interested I'm not even gonna spend a bunch of time with girls i just don't trust that not me unless I'm with someone else like my sisters i also think that if we show special interest or some type of exclusivity to you that's probably a good sign and of course i think if we tend to not like you hanging around guys ( i can get really jealous sometimes, although I'll tolerate it) or in some way show that we don't want to share you ig lol that's a helpful sign but idk could just be me I'm weird