Where are all the real Christian men??

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,838
6,190
113
You are just emphasising your own immaturity and ignorance Lynx. I'll put you on ignore and leave you there.
BINGO! Now I can say anything I want without interference. I'll follow his posts around and refute them without impediment. :giggle:
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
216
96
28
29
Kansas City
Acts 20:28 ESV
Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.
Acts 20:28 ESV
Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.

Ephesians 4:12-16 ESV
To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

God wants us to be part of a church. We may become "tossed by the waves" if we don't.

Matthew 7 :: NIV. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

You are judging me based on what? Words I put down on a Christian Chat forum ? You may want to be careful what you say, because God is going to judge you accordingly.

I'm not sure where you got the notion that I was an "adulterous" and such, but that's not true. You don't know what's going on in my life and you will never know because you are very unfriendly.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,665
1,364
113
45
Truth bomb alert: most churchgoers are not born again. That's a problem for a start. Rather limits the field.....

What you need to know: Men have been denigrated, put down, insulted and belittled for decades now. It's not surprising that they are not behaving like men. Some turn into pathetic wimps, others get resentful and lash out. Many come into a relationship damaged goods.

Men really don't mature until late 20's, sometimes early 30's. It's one reason that younger women are attracted to older men.

A lot of decent men are already taken.

Many men have just given up on relationships. My son is one. He's normal, hard working, has an excellent job, mixed race but looks white, sensible and intelligent. He's looked hard at what marriage is like. Not for him. He's 32.

I was divorced about 25 years ago. I gave up looking. Most of the eligible women were single mothers who obsessed over their kids. No thanks, way too complicated. That I know by experience.

Above all, don't give up. Have realistic expectations. I'm 70 and I will soon be proposing to someone I've grown close to. She knows Jesus and He's her first love. That means that I don't have to be Jesus to her.

I recommend you listen to Mark Gungor, a Christian relationship counselor. He is also very entertaining. You will get a better understanding of why men and women are different and how to deal with the differences. If you meet someone, get them to watch Gungor with you.
Very well put!

As for Christian speakers whom I think would benefit OP, I would also suggest: Mike Winger, Allen Parr, Allie Beth Stuckey, Sean McDowell, Natasha Crain, Susan Heck and Michelle Lesley.
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
216
96
28
29
Kansas City
Very well put!

As for Christian speakers whom I think would benefit OP, I would also suggest: Mike Winger, Allen Parr, Allie Beth Stuckey, Sean McDowell, Natasha Crain, Susan Heck and Michelle Lesley.
I actually listen/watch to Allen Parr and Mike Wigner and follow Michelle Lesley on my facebook page.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,301
5,828
113
Some people get saved as a result of a marriage breakup. Some people are unequally yoked and the other party pulls out. I am appalled at the negativity thrown around by some Christians. Marriage break up is not the unpardonable sin, neither is adultery for that matter. Remarriage is something for the individual to work out between them and God. The other extreme is the worldly view that "marriage is for as long as it suits me", but I don't know too many Christians who take that view.

I keep in mind how God dealt with the adulterous murderer, King David. God did not take his life, even though that was the punishment laid down by the Law. David paid a terrible price, but it was also the child of adultery that ascended the throne.

As far as "eligible", I could have explained that better. I was thinking of the older age groups. I got into the Christian singles scene after my marriage failed. I gave up after while. I suppose it was not important enough to me.
no Davids son by adultery with Bathsheba DIED

it was their second child, after they got married that lived and became King - Solomon. David repented.
I dont know what happened to Davids other wives and concubines (Michal, Abigail, ) it was never clear to me how many he had.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,301
5,828
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Gideon you are going to have to explain what 'eligible' is instead of waffling about things about age.

A woman isnt going to tell you right away if shes got her period or not. Im sorry to be blunt.
 

Orumah

New member
Apr 24, 2022
17
4
3
Hello,my name is Orumah from Africa,i am a believer and a Roman Catholic member.I am single and Looking to meet real christian faithful here.I hope we canbe friends.I am looking forward to chat you.
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
Hello,my name is Orumah from Africa,i am a believer and a Roman Catholic member.I am single and Looking to meet real christian faithful here.I hope we canbe friends.I am looking forward to chat you.
Welcome to CC @Orumah :cool:
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
3,023
1,858
113
no Davids son by adultery with Bathsheba DIED

it was their second child, after they got married that lived and became King - Solomon. David repented.
I dont know what happened to Davids other wives and concubines (Michal, Abigail, ) it was never clear to me how many he had.
More than enough! You are right of course. David's marriages prior to Bathsheba were legitimate. His marriage to Bathsheba was only possible because he had her husband murdered. To me, that's not much of a basis for marriage.

My point was exactly what you've said. God forgave David and Bathsheba. A lot of Christians have the opinion that divorce is the unpardonable sin. If God can forgive a murdering adulterer, and even bless the next relationship, why do some Christians refuse to accept that remarriage is also not the unforgivable sin?
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
Sometimes I wonder what a true Christian man is. I always believe it was a man who asked Jesus into his heart, and then did the best He could to follow the scriptures, in the way He lives. Asking Jesus into your heart is the easy part. Following the scriptures at all times isn't easy. Nobody is perfect, I think...
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,331
395
83
More than enough! You are right of course. David's marriages prior to Bathsheba were legitimate. His marriage to Bathsheba was only possible because he had her husband murdered. To me, that's not much of a basis for marriage.

My point was exactly what you've said. God forgave David and Bathsheba. A lot of Christians have the opinion that divorce is the unpardonable sin. If God can forgive a murdering adulterer, and even bless the next relationship, why do some Christians refuse to accept that remarriage is also not the unforgivable sin?
It's a touchy subject.

We all believe that it is forgivable. But we don't want to be guilty of presumptuous sins of "we can do it and ask for forgiveness later."

But I do agree that many Christians divorce for unbiblical reasons, maybe even thinking "it is not the unforgivable sin" and go through with it, only later to regret it and wish they had not done it, and feel overwhelmed with guilt that because they did think "I will ask for forgiveness later' that they have a hard time believing they are truly remorseful and are stuck in perpetual shame and condemnation.

We have to be able to help these many, many believers find restoration and fellowship with Christ, He has not cut them off forever anymore than he cut off Peter who knowingly and willfully denied the Lord three times.

The hell of an unrelenting toxic bipolar personality that won't get help and stop the rage and verbal fighting is hard for anyone to endure and there must be grace extended for those who were sifted like wheat by the devil and did not stand up under the trial.

To then say, "ok you can be forgiven, but you can never marry again" is just more of the same never-ending condemnation and I don't agree with most of these theological arguments that are presented where they are like legalistic rules created by New Testament Pharisees.

But it is a touchy subject. I am divorced. My wife confessed to sexual immorality with another man, and then she divorced me afterwards while I was processing what to do about it. According to most peoples interpretation of what Jesus and Paul said, I am free to remarry. However, some would say that I shouldn't as long as my adulturess exwife is still alive. That is not what I believe but see how these codes get created and people end up like New Testament Pharisee sects on the divorce issue, some adhereing to one set of rules and some to another even more extreme than the first.

Then we have those who think that a pastor who is divorced even if his wife committed adultery can't be a pastor simply because he is divorced. Others think he can't be a pastor unless he is married. Others think he can be a pastor if his wife cheated on him and left him but he can't ever remarry again. He must stay single. Others say he can remarry again but only after the organization that ordained him officially recognizes that his divorce complied with the biblical reasons for divorce and gives him a recognition of divorce.

All of these different approaches usually have in mind the objective of upholding a high standard of marriage in the church and to discourage believers from getting a divorce unless it is for biblical reasons.

But what happens when people just can't handle the constant fighting and get a divorce anyway? Your churches are full of them.
And this Sunday visitors will come who are part of this camp. What then? Do we over analyze their divorce history or do we just take them where they are today and point them to the cross of Christ who is able to grant them true repentance and heal their broken hearts.

Jesus said that the Spirit of the Lord was upon him because the Father had sent Him to heal the broken hearted (Luke 4) and I can't think of anything that qualifies more as a broken heart than divorced people. Then Jesus said, as the Father has sent me so I send you.

So we must go and heal the broken hearted and be lead by the Spirit on how to deal with each person that we meet who has gone through a divorce and we must not let the leaven of the Pharisee get in us and cause us to say things to people that God is not telling them.

It's a touchy subject.

I am a minister who has been divorced. The ex cheated on me and left. My fellowship recognizes that as biblical grounds for me to divorce, even though she divorced me. They have no problem giving me credentials and recognizing me as a minister. However, if I were to remarry, then they require that I fill out some forms so that they can give me an official recognition that I qualify to remarry. And at that time they will require that my potential wife fill out some forms and they will do some investigation to make sure that she has not been divorced and if she has, was it for a biblical reason. Otherwise they would deny permission for me to remarry. This is of course in order to maintain credentials as a minister and remarry. The reason for all this is to hold our ministers to a strict standard concerning divorce and remarriage as an example to believers.

I am glad that they do this. However we do not require any such thing for someone to be a member of our church. If they have had a divorce and it was not for biblical reasons, we don't judge them, or require to know this information in order from them to join the church. We don't put a stigma on divorced people. Sometimes I think that ignorant people confuse the rules for ministerial credentials with rules for membership and end up saying things to people they shouldn't say that make them think that our church looks down or divorced people. Cruel wagging tongues never cease.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,331
395
83
Sometimes I wonder what a true Christian man is. I always believe it was a man who asked Jesus into his heart, and then did the best He could to follow the scriptures, in the way He lives. Asking Jesus into your heart is the easy part. Following the scriptures at all times isn't easy. Nobody is perfect, I think...
...And can rope a crocodile if necessary. :cool:
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
417
83
Tin Can Bay
It's a touchy subject.

We all believe that it is forgivable. But we don't want to be guilty of presumptuous sins of "we can do it and ask for forgiveness later."

But I do agree that many Christians divorce for unbiblical reasons, maybe even thinking "it is not the unforgivable sin" and go through with it, only later to regret it and wish they had not done it, and feel overwhelmed with guilt that because they did think "I will ask for forgiveness later' that they have a hard time believing they are truly remorseful and are stuck in perpetual shame and condemnation.

We have to be able to help these many, many believers find restoration and fellowship with Christ, He has not cut them off forever anymore than he cut off Peter who knowingly and willfully denied the Lord three times.

The hell of an unrelenting toxic bipolar personality that won't get help and stop the rage and verbal fighting is hard for anyone to endure and there must be grace extended for those who were sifted like wheat by the devil and did not stand up under the trial.

To then say, "ok you can be forgiven, but you can never marry again" is just more of the same never-ending condemnation and I don't agree with most of these theological arguments that are presented where they are like legalistic rules created by New Testament Pharisees.

But it is a touchy subject. I am divorced. My wife confessed to sexual immorality with another man, and then she divorced me afterwards while I was processing what to do about it. According to most peoples interpretation of what Jesus and Paul said, I am free to remarry. However, some would say that I shouldn't as long as my adulturess exwife is still alive. That is not what I believe but see how these codes get created and people end up like New Testament Pharisee sects on the divorce issue, some adhereing to one set of rules and some to another even more extreme than the first.

Then we have those who think that a pastor who is divorced even if his wife committed adultery can't be a pastor simply because he is divorced. Others think he can't be a pastor unless he is married. Others think he can be a pastor if his wife cheated on him and left him but he can't ever remarry again. He must stay single. Others say he can remarry again but only after the organization that ordained him officially recognizes that his divorce complied with the biblical reasons for divorce and gives him a recognition of divorce.

All of these different approaches usually have in mind the objective of upholding a high standard of marriage in the church and to discourage believers from getting a divorce unless it is for biblical reasons.

But what happens when people just can't handle the constant fighting and get a divorce anyway? Your churches are full of them.
And this Sunday visitors will come who are part of this camp. What then? Do we over analyze their divorce history or do we just take them where they are today and point them to the cross of Christ who is able to grant them true repentance and heal their broken hearts.

Jesus said that the Spirit of the Lord was upon him because the Father had sent Him to heal the broken hearted (Luke 4) and I can't think of anything that qualifies more as a broken heart than divorced people. Then Jesus said, as the Father has sent me so I send you.

So we must go and heal the broken hearted and be lead by the Spirit on how to deal with each person that we meet who has gone through a divorce and we must not let the leaven of the Pharisee get in us and cause us to say things to people that God is not telling them.

It's a touchy subject.

I am a minister who has been divorced. The ex cheated on me and left. My fellowship recognizes that as biblical grounds for me to divorce, even though she divorced me. They have no problem giving me credentials and recognizing me as a minister. However, if I were to remarry, then they require that I fill out some forms so that they can give me an official recognition that I qualify to remarry. And at that time they will require that my potential wife fill out some forms and they will do some investigation to make sure that she has not been divorced and if she has, was it for a biblical reason. Otherwise they would deny permission for me to remarry. This is of course in order to maintain credentials as a minister and remarry. The reason for all this is to hold our ministers to a strict standard concerning divorce and remarriage as an example to believers.

I am glad that they do this. However we do not require any such thing for someone to be a member of our church. If they have had a divorce and it was not for biblical reasons, we don't judge them, or require to know this information in order from them to join the church. We don't put a stigma on divorced people. Sometimes I think that ignorant people confuse the rules for ministerial credentials with rules for membership and end up saying things to people they shouldn't say that make them think that our church looks down or divorced people. Cruel wagging tongues never cease.
Well, I could not in all conscience recommend anyone join your church then, they'd be walking into a snake pit IMO.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,331
395
83
Well, I could not in all conscience recommend anyone join your church then, they'd be walking into a snake pit IMO.
I hesitate to say anything in response because I don't want to come across as engaging in an immature exchange. However, in the spirit of a healthy discussion I think we all have our preferences as to what kind of church we wish to attend and I hear your opinion expressed here, but I think many people are looking for a church where they will not be judged for their divorce status and I will always strive to make sure they feel that ours is a good place for new beginnings in Christ.

Is there not a need? So many are letting the devil beat them down over the divorce stigma and make them think they can never be used by God again because of it. I will do everything in my power to help them find faith in the cross of Christ and know that if God has their whole heart today, through faith in Jesus and the death burial and resurrection on their behalf God can take them where they are today (in spite of their past) to where He wants them to be and NOTHING will stop Him including judgmental people who try to hammer them with the their past mistakes.
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
417
83
Tin Can Bay
I hesitate to say anything in response because I don't want to come across as engaging in an immature exchange. However, in the spirit of a healthy discussion I think we all have our preferences as to what kind of church we wish to attend and I hear your opinion expressed here, but I think many people are looking for a church where they will not be judged for their divorce status and I will always strive to make sure they feel that ours is a good place for new beginnings in Christ.

Is there not a need? So many are letting the devil beat them down over the divorce stigma and make them think they can never be used by God again because of it. I will do everything in my power to help them find faith in the cross of Christ and know that if God has their whole heart today, through faith in Jesus and the death burial and resurrection on their behalf God can take them where they are today (in spite of their past) to where He wants them to be and NOTHING will stop Him including judgmental people who try to hammer them with the their past mistakes.
Well, I agree with that, but you've gone too far the other way. If you're not willing or able to adjudge whether or not someone in your group is eligible for marriage or not, you shouldn't be in the position of providing oversight and care for them.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,838
6,190
113
More than enough! You are right of course. David's marriages prior to Bathsheba were legitimate. His marriage to Bathsheba was only possible because he had her husband murdered. To me, that's not much of a basis for marriage.

My point was exactly what you've said. God forgave David and Bathsheba. A lot of Christians have the opinion that divorce is the unpardonable sin. If God can forgive a murdering adulterer, and even bless the next relationship, why do some Christians refuse to accept that remarriage is also not the unforgivable sin?
I've wondered for a long time what Bathsheba felt about it all. It would not have been exactly healthy to say NO to the king... Then her husband gets killed off, then the king just takes her, then God himself kills off her child, all because of David's pride/lust/greed. And now this man is her husband? Uh... Yay.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,838
6,190
113
Well, I agree with that, but you've gone too far the other way. If you're not willing or able to adjudge whether or not someone in your group is eligible for marriage or not, you shouldn't be in a position of providing oversight and care for them.
...Says the guy who can't find one single church that meets his elite criteria. You're incredibly expert at determining how pastors should act. :rolleyes:
 
L

Live4Him2

Guest
Judas wasn't an apostle, he was a disciple.
Judas was both a disciple (Greek: "mathētēs") and an apostle (Greek: "apostolos").

Matthew chapter 10

[1] And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
[2] Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother;
[3] Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus;
[4] Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.

In fact, Matthias was chosen to replace Judas' apostleship.

Acts chapter 1

[15] And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples, and said, (the number of names together were about an hundred and twenty,)
[16] Men and brethren, this scripture must needs have been fulfilled, which the Holy Ghost by the mouth of David spake before concerning Judas, which was guide to them that took Jesus.
[17] For he was numbered with us, and had obtained part of this ministry.
[18] Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.
[19] And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.
[20] For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate, and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.
[21] Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us,
[22] Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection.
[23] And they appointed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias.
[24] And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen,
[25] That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.
[26] And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles.

Just for the record.