Who wants to get married????

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Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,452
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#61
This. 100% this.

It does seem to be a big thing in the church for sure. Marriage is viewed as THE destination. I see so many single people view it that way too as if life doesn't begin until they find a spouse.

And that really ties into my answer. This past year has been funny for me because I have always desired marriage, but I have begun to really see the blessings and upsides to life as a single person. I can go out and come home when I want to, I can have spontaneous hangouts with friends, I can work a full-time job and work at my church part-time, etc. In marriage some of those things wouldn't be possible, which isn't to say that marriage is a drag, it just means I would be giving up the joys of singleness for the joys of marriage. What is funny to me, though, is that it's easy to be kind of selfish with my time as a single person, and so I think if God ever does bring someone into my life, it is going to be a healthy exercise in sacrifice and unselfishness for me. It's a nice place to be since for the longest time I felt like I was ready to move heaven and earth to find "the one" and get married.

But yeah, life begins as soon as you see what is available to you out there, regardless of your marital status. I wish more people lived that way.
Exactly! This is what I keep trying to tell all those people who think "My life is on hold and wasting away until I can find that perfect somebody to make my life complete."

They never listen though. I think it's something you have to discover for yourself. And I still don't know how to jolt people into waking up and discovering it.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
548
361
63
#62
Exactly! This is what I keep trying to tell all those people who think "My life is on hold and wasting away until I can find that perfect somebody to make my life complete."

They never listen though. I think it's something you have to discover for yourself. And I still don't know how to jolt people into waking up and discovering it.
I believe to just get on with your life and God will bring the right person at the right time along your path. To hold it as your main focus is just wasting time and energy and will cause disappointment.
 
Feb 2, 2019
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Liverpool
#63
Praying on that! But I don't feel it will be anytime soon, but that's for God to decide!
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
2,659
2,189
113
#64
Praying on that! But I don't feel it will be anytime soon, but that's for God to decide!
'The effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man/woman availeth much'. Pray and trust. but keep going on in life.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,922
640
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#65
I am old, been divorced for 40+years, have gotten so used to being with the Lord every hour of every day, night as well, wouldn't know what to do, Ruby speaks of space and many of us especially if we practice the faith we are guided to, place a very high value on solitude. Our destiny is there, our assignment is here, why would we not want to go all out for Jesus?
If we truly want to grow in Him, we will spend time alone with Him. I recently went through a time of Him getting me up in the early hours to spend time with Him, a pastor i heard mentioned the same thing was going on with him. That is so like G-d in our vital relationship with Him, He does something first, He shows us the reason later.
You are cute, Ruby, just thought you should know...
best wishes all
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
548
361
63
#66
I am old, been divorced for 40+years, have gotten so used to being with the Lord every hour of every day, night as well, wouldn't know what to do, Ruby speaks of space and many of us especially if we practice the faith we are guided to, place a very high value on solitude. Our destiny is there, our assignment is here, why would we not want to go all out for Jesus?
If we truly want to grow in Him, we will spend time alone with Him. I recently went through a time of Him getting me up in the early hours to spend time with Him, a pastor i heard mentioned the same thing was going on with him. That is so like G-d in our vital relationship with Him, He does something first, He shows us the reason later.
You are cute, Ruby, just thought you should know...
best wishes all

Thankyou for your kind words:)
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#67
You have wonderful eye contact, and we know the eyes are the windows to the soul.
 
May 8, 2019
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#68
I’m using this time in my life to build intimacy with my heavenly Father and focusing on my relationship with Him first. If He wants me to get married, then He will bless me with a man of God on His time. But I’m not in any rush to get married. But since we are on the topic of marriage, what do you guys think of celibacy/abstinence until marriage? I don’t believe in fornication anymore since I’m a follower of Christ. But my question is this, to all of the Christian men out there...if you saw a woman and God told you she’s the one He wants you to be with, but you saw a ring on her finger (it’s not a real ring, just an abstinence ring) would you still walk up to her and approach her? Or would you assume that she’s married because you see a ring on her finger? I know I don’t need to keep a ring on to stay away from sex but to me it’s like a commitment to the Father, like a wedding promise to Him until he blesses me with my earth partner ☺️
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
548
361
63
#69
I’m using this time in my life to build intimacy with my heavenly Father and focusing on my relationship with Him first. If He wants me to get married, then He will bless me with a man of God on His time. But I’m not in any rush to get married. But since we are on the topic of marriage, what do you guys think of celibacy/abstinence until marriage? I don’t believe in fornication anymore since I’m a follower of Christ. But my question is this, to all of the Christian men out there...if you saw a woman and God told you she’s the one He wants you to be with, but you saw a ring on her finger (it’s not a real ring, just an abstinence ring) would you still walk up to her and approach her? Or would you assume that she’s married because you see a ring on her finger? I know I don’t need to keep a ring on to stay away from sex but to me it’s like a commitment to the Father, like a wedding promise to Him until he blesses me with my earth partner ☺️
This would be an interesting question for the christian men to answer. Hopefully some answers will appear soon. I'm guessing they would be very hesitant to approach someone who is wearing a ring and would ask God for confirmation first before they make the approach.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,922
640
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#70
Yes, I would avoid, most men don't know much about any difference between abstinence ring engagement ring, if its on the ring finger you can get a lightening bolt from heaven for messing with a relationship, on the other hand, many men and women I have seen think if you are talking to a woman you are hitting on her, this defies Ephesians and other places, in Christ we are brother and sister, we are all one, the carnal, sense ruled life is history, we are new creations, of course we are to respect one another and the relationship yet most Christians have not progressed to walking in the spirit.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
9,674
1,662
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#71
When I was single, I used to wear a ring. I wore it cuz it was pretty and I didn’t think it looked like a wedding ring. But I was told by my friends that it gave guys the impression I was married. So I switched it to the other hand, and my friends said it didn’t matter which hand lol!
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#72
With the Amish here the mustache indicates a man is single, when you marry you shave the mustache.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,166
967
113
#73
I’m using this time in my life to build intimacy with my heavenly Father and focusing on my relationship with Him first. If He wants me to get married, then He will bless me with a man of God on His time. But I’m not in any rush to get married. But since we are on the topic of marriage, what do you guys think of celibacy/abstinence until marriage? I don’t believe in fornication anymore since I’m a follower of Christ. But my question is this, to all of the Christian men out there...if you saw a woman and God told you she’s the one He wants you to be with, but you saw a ring on her finger (it’s not a real ring, just an abstinence ring) would you still walk up to her and approach her? Or would you assume that she’s married because you see a ring on her finger? I know I don’t need to keep a ring on to stay away from sex but to me it’s like a commitment to the Father, like a wedding promise to Him until he blesses me with my earth partner ☺️
YES - any ring on that finger is likely represent a symbolic deterrent for honorable men...

Albeit - there are obvious ring designs that are very dissimilar in appearance than a typical wedding band or engagement ring... But the fact that a ring is on that particular finger serves as an immediate deterrent for most men of honor - especially if the men are not within proximity to be able to distinguish such subtle dissimilarities...
However, many women choose to flood all their fingers with rings - in such case it is not so obvious that the ring upon that finger represents a wedding ring - as it's distinct design is now even less distinguishing within the camouflage of all the other rings...
Now, if a man happens to be in close enough proximity (not always the case) to visually recognize these design distinctions - such a ring MIGHT(?) serve as an opportunity to initiate a curious inquiry (about the ring for clarity) - but I suspect that those odds are likely to be dwindling in comparison to if there was a) no ring on that finger, b) if the abstinence ring was on a different finger...

When my wife left in pursuit of separation she immediately stopped wearing her wedding ring(s), while she was running about in her social circles... It was not until my mother-in-law pointed out her poor-form that she began to wear different rings on that finger (usually one with kids birthstone, but often times one with a gaudy design)... The fact that she began to wear a ring on that finger (vs not one at all) during our separation was immensely more comforting - knowing that any ring on that finger would at least serve in some form as a deterrent - if not from the wolves out there but at least from the more honorable men...
 
May 8, 2019
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#74
Yes, I would avoid, most men don't know much about any difference between abstinence ring engagement ring, if its on the ring finger you can get a lightening bolt from heaven for messing with a relationship, on the other hand, many men and women I have seen think if you are talking to a woman you are hitting on her, this defies Ephesians and other places, in Christ we are brother and sister, we are all one, the carnal, sense ruled life is history, we are new creations, of course we are to respect one another and the relationship yet most Christians have not progressed to walking in the spirit.
I don’t have it on my ring finger but on my middle finger on my left hand. I will probably take it off eventually because I don’t want my future husband thinking I’m already married to someone here on earth. Thank you for your reply. I agree, us Christians who are walking in the spirit we will no longer live a carnal lifestyle. I definitely DO NOT miss that sinful lifestyle either. Yuck 😖
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
987
213
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#75
I married when I was 14, had my first child at 15, then foolishly divorced at 19, and I say that because I was not mature enough to make it work, I took the easy way out. I loved him, but not enough to stick it out when things got rough, BUT, then I met the love of my life. I fell hard and fast, and it lasted 38 years, during which time I got saved. I have now outlived both of them, the first one was about my age and the second one was 16 years my senior. It really seems strange to say that they are both dead , but they are. I was very happy with both for the most part, we had our ups and downs, but except for the hasty divorce the first time, managed to stay together. I sometimes think it would be nice to be able to meet someone that I would fall for again, and sometimes I do reach out on the dating sites to see what I might be able to find, and with one exception, I have had no luck, the one exception I think got away, We clicked then my computer went down, and by the time I got it replaced he was long gone. And then I met another man thru his cousin, and I fell for him too, but I think he was looking for someone with money, even though he claimed to have plenty. I am pretty content for the most part, even though it would be nice to have a man in my life again. I am never lonely and I thank God for that, I feel like he is with me, 24/7. I was told by a minister one time that I would never walk alone, and Praise God that is true.
 
Apr 21, 2019
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#76
Maybe one day if it’s Gods plan.
Have to meet the right man he has to be a Christian, and attend church regularly
Hoping that this man puts Jesus first
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
2,659
2,189
113
#77
Maybe one day if it’s Gods plan.
Have to meet the right man he has to be a Christian, and attend church regularly
Hoping that this man puts Jesus first
If it's your heart's desire to have a husband I think there is nothing wrong with asking the Lord. 'How much more will our Heavenly Father give us good things being perfect, than even our earthly father who wants to give us good things not being perfect'. Mt 7:10-12.
If you aren't already, getting involved in volunteer work at a local church is a way to meet people, God bless.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,222
425
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Arizona
#79
Honestly like you said, God just hasn’t had me meet the right one yet. Not that I haven’t been looking in the past. Right now I’m like...passively looking? My last relationship ended a bit poorly so I’m a bit hesitant to try again.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,922
640
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#80
another early morning of spending time with Him, and His own, 1:54 a.m. here.
blessings