WHY ARE ALL THE "GOOD MEN" MARRIED MEN?
- Thread starter Jewel5712
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So is this the place where I should offer to start a training academy? 
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This is a goodie...
Having been raised by an amazing woman who raised 4 boys and 2 girls all by herself (father passed young) - there was absolutely A LOT of LEARNING that was done... Was raised to treat girls and women with respect...
Even though I liked to believe that I was one of the good ones - going into my marriage - little did I realize how so much more I had to learn about communication in the process.... ie 'Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus'...
Over the course of our 27 years of marriage (currently separated 1.5 years - doesn't look like she's coming back) we participated in counseling, faith-based marriage retreats, numerous self-help programs ie 'Five Agreements', '5 Love Languages' etc...
Surprisingly, I learned something new and useful every time...
In hind-sight, at the end of the day the most important lesson of all that I learned was:
"That it is more important to be married, than it is to be right." (ref: Mort Fortel's 'Marriage Bootcamp') While applicable for men, and women - suspect this may not resonate with many men (even the good ones) until it is too late...
A few key things that most men need to learn (even the good ones) that women want us to know:
- Listen slowly - they're not carburetors - don't try to fix'm...
- Make her feel special...
- let her influence you...
Having been raised by an amazing woman who raised 4 boys and 2 girls all by herself (father passed young) - there was absolutely A LOT of LEARNING that was done... Was raised to treat girls and women with respect...
Even though I liked to believe that I was one of the good ones - going into my marriage - little did I realize how so much more I had to learn about communication in the process.... ie 'Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus'...
Over the course of our 27 years of marriage (currently separated 1.5 years - doesn't look like she's coming back) we participated in counseling, faith-based marriage retreats, numerous self-help programs ie 'Five Agreements', '5 Love Languages' etc...
Surprisingly, I learned something new and useful every time...
In hind-sight, at the end of the day the most important lesson of all that I learned was:
"That it is more important to be married, than it is to be right." (ref: Mort Fortel's 'Marriage Bootcamp') While applicable for men, and women - suspect this may not resonate with many men (even the good ones) until it is too late...
A few key things that most men need to learn (even the good ones) that women want us to know:
- Listen slowly - they're not carburetors - don't try to fix'm...
- Make her feel special...
- let her influence you...
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Ive raised 4 kids mostly on my own as well..did the counselimg thing..but why do couples wait SO LONG to get counseling aftet so much damage is done to find out the HEY..these simple little things could really help my spouse out n make thier day ? Everyome is so afraid of being CHAMGED by the other person..theres no such thing..n if a person doesnt want to chamge..STAY SIMGLE..lol
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So True, lol... re willingness to change: I suspect that a lot of people don't get around to doing the self-reflection until it's too let, and to be honest too many of them do not realize if there is any remote chance for them to uphold the conviction of their vows that sacrifices will have to be made... Unfortunately, I guess too many people are conflicted in finding the right balance between their commitment and willingness to make sacrifices... It really is a sad reality, as well as a reality check for many - learning that too many people are incapable of genuine self-reflection and therefore unlikely/unwilling to change...
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Is this what a woman advising a man looks like? I can almost hear her saying, "Why can't you put the seat down!" or "Wh with the housework?"
It would tick me off too. Unicorns require cleanliness!
Ew!!!! Men do those things?
As the neat control freak that I am...that would really piss me off!
As the neat control freak that I am...that would really piss me off!
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