Why are so many women attracted to jerks?
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
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A
Doubtful.
Sometimes "nice" guys aren't really nice. they just bottle up their emotions and come off as Fake.
Other times "nice" guys go into a meeting with the idea that either THEY or the WOMAN aren't good enough to have an enduring relationship. Causing them to fail before even the first date.
Sometimes people don't pick up the signs that the other person is interested.
Other times the guy is so self concious and insecure that its a warning sign that says "major emotional baggage and unforgiveness, date at your own risk"
Sometimes "nice" guys aren't really nice. they just bottle up their emotions and come off as Fake.
Other times "nice" guys go into a meeting with the idea that either THEY or the WOMAN aren't good enough to have an enduring relationship. Causing them to fail before even the first date.
Sometimes people don't pick up the signs that the other person is interested.
Other times the guy is so self concious and insecure that its a warning sign that says "major emotional baggage and unforgiveness, date at your own risk"
I wish that was true but I have seen women who were smart, attractive and nice fall for guys who were jerks. I used to have a best friend who was an amateur bodybuilder and so many smart, attractive, nice women would just be crazy for him. I mean they could just blush from being around him and I know he was dating more than one of them at the same time. I wasn't a christian back then so I really didn't care what he did. The women he was with seemed happy so that didn't bother me either.
Me on the other hand, I couldn't get a date to save my life.
Me on the other hand, I couldn't get a date to save my life.
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A
This should have been the first comment... Watching men trying to figure out stuff makes you giggle??? is that why you held out this knowledge for so long????
I don't stalk the singles forum (being married).
I just saw this one and happen to like Zero so read his thread. lol
I do talk to my friends in real life about it when the topic comes up (that's how we determined such pearls of wisdom and how to avoid jerks and not be B***)
. it doesn't come up too often nowadays because most of my friends are married too now.
A
then they need a lesson on "How to know your man is cheatin' on you" or "how to recognize a faithful mate" list.
My friends compiled one ages ago.
From memory:
1. He gets upset when you show up unexpectedly to say you love him. Dropping by with a picnic lunch is sometimes a good test.
2. He wants to keep your relationship a "secret"
3. He checks out and flirts with other girls, even while you are there.
4. He lies about where he is/ he is not where he says he was going to be (this can be checked by having a friend drop by that place and reporting back)
5. he hits on your girl friends behind your back.
In high school I had a set of five girl friends and we kept it real with each other. Luckily we were so different that we never fell for the same guy. Even if we did we had a policy of NEVER dating a guy who went out with one of our other friends. relationships like that never end well and often cause the breakup of a great friendship.
we had clear lines we would not tolerate from men as well.
If he pressured you for sex. (firm believer that high school students should NOT be having sex)
If he ever HIT you.
and more but my have to take kids to school. ttyl.
My friends compiled one ages ago.
From memory:
1. He gets upset when you show up unexpectedly to say you love him. Dropping by with a picnic lunch is sometimes a good test.
2. He wants to keep your relationship a "secret"
3. He checks out and flirts with other girls, even while you are there.
4. He lies about where he is/ he is not where he says he was going to be (this can be checked by having a friend drop by that place and reporting back)
5. he hits on your girl friends behind your back.
In high school I had a set of five girl friends and we kept it real with each other. Luckily we were so different that we never fell for the same guy. Even if we did we had a policy of NEVER dating a guy who went out with one of our other friends. relationships like that never end well and often cause the breakup of a great friendship.
we had clear lines we would not tolerate from men as well.
If he pressured you for sex. (firm believer that high school students should NOT be having sex)
If he ever HIT you.
and more but my have to take kids to school. ttyl.
Oohhhh actually I knew two girls who did find out and they hated him. They even tried to do cruel things to him. One of them put a used cigarette butt in a slice of pizza he was going to eat at a party and she begged me not to tell him but I did (I couldn't let him eat it). The other girl just liked telling everyone what she thought of him...and she was actually a girlfriend of mine in high school :/
H
They were brainwashed by Jane Austen & the like into thinking they can change their own Darcy.
And, as iTore would point out, here comes the backlash to that in 3...2...1...
And, as iTore would point out, here comes the backlash to that in 3...2...1...
M
I used to exclusively date jerks. Because I used to be so smart.
Part of the attraction is definitely thinking "I will be the one who changes him!" Except obviously, that never works. But more than that, it was me thinking, "I will be the one that he WANTS to change for."
Funny how several of those guys would tell me "You make me want to be a better man" (ok, first, these were Boys, not men, and also big whiny babies, so that alone makes me laugh....also, GET SOME ORIGINAL LINES! Ahem...sorry...) but then, of course, nothing ever changed.
So, that leaves me with...no real good answer to your question
Part of the attraction is definitely thinking "I will be the one who changes him!" Except obviously, that never works. But more than that, it was me thinking, "I will be the one that he WANTS to change for."
Funny how several of those guys would tell me "You make me want to be a better man" (ok, first, these were Boys, not men, and also big whiny babies, so that alone makes me laugh....also, GET SOME ORIGINAL LINES! Ahem...sorry...) but then, of course, nothing ever changed.
So, that leaves me with...no real good answer to your question
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