Would You Compete with a Gaggle of Other Suitors to Win Someone's Hand?
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Hey Everyone,
I was just curious as to how you all feel about "competing" for the same person (when the person you like has other people after them.)
There were a few times when I was younger when I felt like I was "competing" for someone--and generally, I would lose. I always say that the only reason I ever had boyfriends at all was because they were the only guys who weren't interested in my friends (or at least, hadn't met them yet.)
Now days I have to admit, I don't really have any interest in competing for anyone. If a guy told me, "You're one of the Top 3 Contenders that I'm considering," he may as well just start calling me "Bessie," because that's going to make me feel like some kind of prize heifer who's competing against the rest of the herd for a blue ribbon (which, I guess, he would see as being himself
.)
No thanks. If I'm going to be a piece of livestock at the county fair, I'd personally rather try my luck at the Hog Calling Contest.
But I realize that this also creates a Catch 22, because, while I'm not keen on feeling like some kind of contestant (if I wanted that, I'd just enter a pageant or try out for a dating game show), but on the other hand, I don't want to feel like someone's last chance at not being single, either.
I suppose in my idealistic mind, I'm looking for someone who is content and out living life, and if we just happen to bump into each other and sparks fly.... Well then--"SSSUUUUUUU----EEEEEE!!!!"
I guess that would make me the Grand Prize Champion of The Best Hog-Calling Contest, ever. (Just kidding, sweetie, whoever you are and wherever you may be!)
How about the rest of you? How do you feel about competing for someone you're interested in?
For instance, what if:
* You and your best friend like the same person.
* The person you like has several other people after them.
* The person you like attracts a lot of attention from the opposite gender in general.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So...
1. What do you do to make yourself stand out, and catch the person's eye/win their heart?
2. Or, do you just give and walk away, and why?
3. If you did compete for someone, how did it turn out? And if you did not, do you have any regrets, or what do you wish you would have done differently?
By the way, I am in no way criticizing anyone who DOES compete for someone, most especially the guys, because I realize that in a way, the Christian culture almost sets this up ("Men should pursue and lead;" "Women should submit and wait to be approached.")
I acknowledge 100% that this kind of thinking seems to automatically put the men in a place of competing against each other for the women. Do you agree with that? Why or why not?
And, our married friends are welcome to post, too. Maybe some of you out there had to compete for your betrothed, and have a story to tell about it, or have seen it happen with other couples?
How did it go?
I was just curious as to how you all feel about "competing" for the same person (when the person you like has other people after them.)
There were a few times when I was younger when I felt like I was "competing" for someone--and generally, I would lose. I always say that the only reason I ever had boyfriends at all was because they were the only guys who weren't interested in my friends (or at least, hadn't met them yet.)
Now days I have to admit, I don't really have any interest in competing for anyone. If a guy told me, "You're one of the Top 3 Contenders that I'm considering," he may as well just start calling me "Bessie," because that's going to make me feel like some kind of prize heifer who's competing against the rest of the herd for a blue ribbon (which, I guess, he would see as being himself
.) No thanks. If I'm going to be a piece of livestock at the county fair, I'd personally rather try my luck at the Hog Calling Contest.
But I realize that this also creates a Catch 22, because, while I'm not keen on feeling like some kind of contestant (if I wanted that, I'd just enter a pageant or try out for a dating game show), but on the other hand, I don't want to feel like someone's last chance at not being single, either.
I suppose in my idealistic mind, I'm looking for someone who is content and out living life, and if we just happen to bump into each other and sparks fly.... Well then--"SSSUUUUUUU----EEEEEE!!!!"
I guess that would make me the Grand Prize Champion of The Best Hog-Calling Contest, ever. (Just kidding, sweetie, whoever you are and wherever you may be!)
How about the rest of you? How do you feel about competing for someone you're interested in?
For instance, what if:
* You and your best friend like the same person.
* The person you like has several other people after them.
* The person you like attracts a lot of attention from the opposite gender in general.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So...
1. What do you do to make yourself stand out, and catch the person's eye/win their heart?
2. Or, do you just give and walk away, and why?
3. If you did compete for someone, how did it turn out? And if you did not, do you have any regrets, or what do you wish you would have done differently?
By the way, I am in no way criticizing anyone who DOES compete for someone, most especially the guys, because I realize that in a way, the Christian culture almost sets this up ("Men should pursue and lead;" "Women should submit and wait to be approached.")
I acknowledge 100% that this kind of thinking seems to automatically put the men in a place of competing against each other for the women. Do you agree with that? Why or why not?
And, our married friends are welcome to post, too. Maybe some of you out there had to compete for your betrothed, and have a story to tell about it, or have seen it happen with other couples?
How did it go?
I always saw things differently, I see men as the prize and women as the true pursuers... I came to that conclusion in kindergarten when girls would chase me around either trying to kiss me, or trying to get me to play house as the husband. Somewhere in-between the time of girls having cooties and puberty dudes get sloppy.
As for gaggles of people competing over 1 person i always thought it was funny, makes them all seem cheap and desperate. Its even more interesting to see which one gets selected.. Those types of prize relationships usually don't last too long.
on #3 i never competed but with one of my friends his "potential girl friends" would always try to ditch him for me because i wasn't thirsty,creepy or dishonest like he was, we are opposites because I am self-controlled, chill and transparent. After a while he stopped bringing them around, but even then he was still paranoid.