Would You Date Someone Who Didn't Speak Your Native Language Very Well?
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Great discussion topic, Seoulsearch! 
I would definitely work on learning another language to develop a friendship. I have been really blessed to have worked with people from many different countries and we have always found ways to build friendships despite the language barrier, usually through shared hobbies. In my experiences, you can often get to know the person through their actions, which sometimes provides more insight into a person than their words.
Communication is such an important part of a romantic relationship though, that I would want to make sure that we were both committed to working through the language barriers. I think it would be important for both of us to work on learning one another's language and, even though it sounds impersonal, having someone who could serve as a translator if needed. Someone trustworthy, like a minister, who could serve as a resource but still allow us to be the ones to work through whatever issue we were communicating about.
It would definitely be a dating challenge, but for the right person, I think it would definitely be worth it!
I would definitely work on learning another language to develop a friendship. I have been really blessed to have worked with people from many different countries and we have always found ways to build friendships despite the language barrier, usually through shared hobbies. In my experiences, you can often get to know the person through their actions, which sometimes provides more insight into a person than their words.
Communication is such an important part of a romantic relationship though, that I would want to make sure that we were both committed to working through the language barriers. I think it would be important for both of us to work on learning one another's language and, even though it sounds impersonal, having someone who could serve as a translator if needed. Someone trustworthy, like a minister, who could serve as a resource but still allow us to be the ones to work through whatever issue we were communicating about.
It would definitely be a dating challenge, but for the right person, I think it would definitely be worth it!
Y
The things that were most difficult to deal with were the cultural misunderstandings and having to stop in the middle of a sentence to explain some idiom or piece of slang. It got to be very tiring to me over the years we were together. I know for a fact that I don't have the patience to deal with that stuff again.
There is way more to a language other than just being able to say the right words, the right way, at the right time. There's so many little nuances of culture, slang, idiom that are NOT similar between cultures, and that stuff can be quite a hangup that gets in the way of real and meaningful communication.
There is way more to a language other than just being able to say the right words, the right way, at the right time. There's so many little nuances of culture, slang, idiom that are NOT similar between cultures, and that stuff can be quite a hangup that gets in the way of real and meaningful communication.
i meannnn.... after a few decades? lol
i'm not sure we ever truly know and understand? glimpses, for sure, and it develops better with talking, which presumes a common language, so there's that. it requires a willingness to be open, and that means vulnerability, which doesn't come easily to some of us. (looks at husband)
but on the whole, nah. makes for some interesting times, tho!
i'm not sure we ever truly know and understand? glimpses, for sure, and it develops better with talking, which presumes a common language, so there's that. it requires a willingness to be open, and that means vulnerability, which doesn't come easily to some of us. (looks at husband
)but on the whole, nah. makes for some interesting times, tho!
M
Hey Everyone,
One of the most interesting things I've ever experienced on a dating site was when a hearing-impaired man messaged me about dating. He asked me if I was good at learning languages and if I would be willing to learn sign language if we decided to have a relationship. He also sent me links to videos regarding how he went about daily tasks like using the (regular) telephone, because at the time, cell phones didn't exist.
Although we eventually decided we were not right for each other, it got me thinking about the possibility of learning another language for the sake of someone I might be interested in.
I'm in a work situation right now in which a guy who speaks Spanish almost exclusively tries to talk to me almost every day, but all we can say to each other are very basic, polite, "How are you's?" The other day he apologized profusely for his English, and I felt awful that he would feel the need to apologize.
Although it's not a dating situation at all, I almost wish I could ask him to text all his questions so that I could try to run them through Google Translator (and then also have a way of answering him back in Spanish). I know there would still be some misunderstandings but at least it would hopefully make him more comfortable with trying to hold a conversation.
The other day, I asked him how long he'd worked for the company and he answered with several sentences in Spanish. Unfortunately, all I could decipher was "tres" (three), and that was just from watching Sesame Street as a kid!
What about the rest of you?
* Would you learn another language to talk to or date someone you were interested in?
* If the other person didn't speak your language well, would you only agree to date them if you believed they would become more fluent in your own language? Why or why not?
* Would you choose not to date someone who didn't speak your language well, and why? Is it just because of the communication barrier, or are there other reasons?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
I would really love to know your thoughts.
One of the most interesting things I've ever experienced on a dating site was when a hearing-impaired man messaged me about dating. He asked me if I was good at learning languages and if I would be willing to learn sign language if we decided to have a relationship. He also sent me links to videos regarding how he went about daily tasks like using the (regular) telephone, because at the time, cell phones didn't exist.
Although we eventually decided we were not right for each other, it got me thinking about the possibility of learning another language for the sake of someone I might be interested in.
I'm in a work situation right now in which a guy who speaks Spanish almost exclusively tries to talk to me almost every day, but all we can say to each other are very basic, polite, "How are you's?" The other day he apologized profusely for his English, and I felt awful that he would feel the need to apologize.
Although it's not a dating situation at all, I almost wish I could ask him to text all his questions so that I could try to run them through Google Translator (and then also have a way of answering him back in Spanish). I know there would still be some misunderstandings but at least it would hopefully make him more comfortable with trying to hold a conversation.
The other day, I asked him how long he'd worked for the company and he answered with several sentences in Spanish. Unfortunately, all I could decipher was "tres" (three), and that was just from watching Sesame Street as a kid!
What about the rest of you?
* Would you learn another language to talk to or date someone you were interested in?
* If the other person didn't speak your language well, would you only agree to date them if you believed they would become more fluent in your own language? Why or why not?
* Would you choose not to date someone who didn't speak your language well, and why? Is it just because of the communication barrier, or are there other reasons?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
I would really love to know your thoughts.
Hey Everyone,
One of the most interesting things I've ever experienced on a dating site was when a hearing-impaired man messaged me about dating. He asked me if I was good at learning languages and if I would be willing to learn sign language if we decided to have a relationship. He also sent me links to videos regarding how he went about daily tasks like using the (regular) telephone, because at the time, cell phones didn't exist.
Although we eventually decided we were not right for each other, it got me thinking about the possibility of learning another language for the sake of someone I might be interested in.
I'm in a work situation right now in which a guy who speaks Spanish almost exclusively tries to talk to me almost every day, but all we can say to each other are very basic, polite, "How are you's?" The other day he apologized profusely for his English, and I felt awful that he would feel the need to apologize.
Although it's not a dating situation at all, I almost wish I could ask him to text all his questions so that I could try to run them through Google Translator (and then also have a way of answering him back in Spanish). I know there would still be some misunderstandings but at least it would hopefully make him more comfortable with trying to hold a conversation.
The other day, I asked him how long he'd worked for the company and he answered with several sentences in Spanish. Unfortunately, all I could decipher was "tres" (three), and that was just from watching Sesame Street as a kid!
What about the rest of you?
* Would you learn another language to talk to or date someone you were interested in?
* If the other person didn't speak your language well, would you only agree to date them if you believed they would become more fluent in your own language? Why or why not?
* Would you choose not to date someone who didn't speak your language well, and why? Is it just because of the communication barrier, or are there other reasons?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
I would really love to know your thoughts.
One of the most interesting things I've ever experienced on a dating site was when a hearing-impaired man messaged me about dating. He asked me if I was good at learning languages and if I would be willing to learn sign language if we decided to have a relationship. He also sent me links to videos regarding how he went about daily tasks like using the (regular) telephone, because at the time, cell phones didn't exist.
Although we eventually decided we were not right for each other, it got me thinking about the possibility of learning another language for the sake of someone I might be interested in.
I'm in a work situation right now in which a guy who speaks Spanish almost exclusively tries to talk to me almost every day, but all we can say to each other are very basic, polite, "How are you's?" The other day he apologized profusely for his English, and I felt awful that he would feel the need to apologize.
Although it's not a dating situation at all, I almost wish I could ask him to text all his questions so that I could try to run them through Google Translator (and then also have a way of answering him back in Spanish). I know there would still be some misunderstandings but at least it would hopefully make him more comfortable with trying to hold a conversation.
The other day, I asked him how long he'd worked for the company and he answered with several sentences in Spanish. Unfortunately, all I could decipher was "tres" (three), and that was just from watching Sesame Street as a kid!
What about the rest of you?
* Would you learn another language to talk to or date someone you were interested in?
* If the other person didn't speak your language well, would you only agree to date them if you believed they would become more fluent in your own language? Why or why not?
* Would you choose not to date someone who didn't speak your language well, and why? Is it just because of the communication barrier, or are there other reasons?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
I would really love to know your thoughts.
my sayangku is my passion and I am blessed to make that decision to date her. So with your question it's not the language barrier, you can easily break that barrier. But the real reason that you choose not to date someone is because you don't have a connection. A connection is made almost immediately in my opinion. You will be swept away off your feet and float as the butterflies take you on a ride of mystery, love, fear, excitement, passion, and enlightenment. I hope my opinion helps
T
How did I miss this thread???? (I am still searching for the rant-thread.....)
I was married to a Finnish guy. He didn't speak Norwegian, and I didn't speak Finnish. I learned Finnish.... he waited 10 years before trying to learn Norwegian. (he didn't do a great job on it, might I add). We spoke English together. For me, I didn't have any problems expressing myself. I seldom do. But I sometimes felt frustrated by that he didn't always understand my English. It can be quite frustrating to explain myself.
It didn't work out very well. Perhaps his violence was a result of a deeper frustration over lacking communicative skills. I don't want to excuse him, and I understand everything he said in Finnish anyway. Most of it was just verbal abuse and cussing so I wish I didn't.
Now..... Being older and wiser, I would say that we need to be able to communicate better and deeper than a basic language provides. I think Wong Filmore's studies upon the use of emotional impact would be valid in this discussion as well. I think I couldn't marry a Finn again, because it is the most depressing sounding language in the world. Or. If he was from the Swedish speaking minority, I wouldn't have any questions about it. I find that variety of Swedish very attractive, and it is somehow my second mothertongue. A Swede would also do. Or a native English speaker. I might not have the grammar right, but I think I make myself understood mostly. And I comprehend most English speakers as well. I had problems with some North English accents and some how the accent spoken in New York didn't agree with me. Or perhaps it was because I was in Queens.
So my answer is. If God wants me to marry, I hope it is not with someone from Queens or Manchester.
I was married to a Finnish guy. He didn't speak Norwegian, and I didn't speak Finnish. I learned Finnish.... he waited 10 years before trying to learn Norwegian. (he didn't do a great job on it, might I add). We spoke English together. For me, I didn't have any problems expressing myself. I seldom do. But I sometimes felt frustrated by that he didn't always understand my English. It can be quite frustrating to explain myself.
It didn't work out very well. Perhaps his violence was a result of a deeper frustration over lacking communicative skills. I don't want to excuse him, and I understand everything he said in Finnish anyway. Most of it was just verbal abuse and cussing so I wish I didn't.
Now..... Being older and wiser, I would say that we need to be able to communicate better and deeper than a basic language provides. I think Wong Filmore's studies upon the use of emotional impact would be valid in this discussion as well. I think I couldn't marry a Finn again, because it is the most depressing sounding language in the world. Or. If he was from the Swedish speaking minority, I wouldn't have any questions about it. I find that variety of Swedish very attractive, and it is somehow my second mothertongue. A Swede would also do. Or a native English speaker. I might not have the grammar right, but I think I make myself understood mostly. And I comprehend most English speakers as well. I had problems with some North English accents and some how the accent spoken in New York didn't agree with me. Or perhaps it was because I was in Queens.
So my answer is. If God wants me to marry, I hope it is not with someone from Queens or Manchester.
G
You would rather be taught by know it alls who are not self proclaimed? At least the self proclaimed know it alls are self aware. People who are know it alls unknown to themselves, are not very self aware.
Which begs the question, since some know it alls are self proclaimed, does that mean they actually know it all? The know it alls unexamined, must not know it all.
This makes me think of Thomas Carlyle “Know thyself!”. I believe it was Carlyle.
Which begs the question, since some know it alls are self proclaimed, does that mean they actually know it all? The know it alls unexamined, must not know it all.
This makes me think of Thomas Carlyle “Know thyself!”. I believe it was Carlyle.