Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?

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Nov 25, 2019
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I would not marry anyone that I didn't think I could share a bank account with
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
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When you get married you become one. You should have enough trust with that person or else why are you marrying that person? This is the biggest issue.

I know divorce happens and probably easier to split financially if you have separate accounts but it’s suppose to be a covenant that is meant to be for life. Either way the assets usually gets split from the date you get married.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
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Bump for the new….bies - what say you?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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I must be new-bie cos I never answered or saw this thread before.

I think if I had a spouse we'd have joint account plus our own separate accounts so we'd have 3 accounts.
The joint account would be for shared things like bills, groceries, and I suppose furniture, appliances and things for the house, holidays, taxes, mortgage etc

the personal accounts would be for everything else, like clothes and books or whatever gifts that person wants to buy.

I hadnt really thought too much about it as I thought this is just what everyone did.
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
Never again, period, end of discussion.

I control mine, she controls hers, done.

Whatever we manage to share is all good!
 
G

Gojira

Guest
So, I’ve got friends who are married and some of them share their bank accounts (or merge it as one) but a few of my friends who are married don’t share their bank accounts.

The couples who don’t share give the reasons below:
1. They are happy with keeping accounts seperate.
2. They don’t need to know their spouses income (it’s a personal thing according to them).
3. They prefer seperate accounts so that they can manage their finances e.g one of them pays the bills one week, the other one pays the bills the following week etc etc.
4. One couple said that they were raised from backgrounds that never had to depend on their family members, so they’re comfortable of keeping it that way with their spouse.

VS

The couples who share bank accounts:
1. When you’re married, it makes life easier when you join accounts to manage the finances.
2. Easier to keep track of what’s coming in and going out.
3. It’s makes sense to merge bank accounts with your husband/wife.

Sooooo, would you or would you not share (merge) your bank account with your spouse?

Personally, if or when I get married, I would. I think, for me it would make managing of finances/income easier. But that’ll have to be discussed with my future husband if he agrees lol.

And if you’re currently married, or dating someone, you can share your experience/thoughts as well.
I think it speaks to the whole one flesh thing. I don't think it's bad to have personal accounts, but there should also be one account for both, IMO. And, they definitely have to keep open and active communication going about all of their finances, personal and shared. I speak from experience on this one. (I managed the house finances when I was married.)
 
R

RichMan

Guest
For 59 years we have been one.
There has never been mine and yours.
 

Kamefur

New member
Mar 23, 2022
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yes I would, and I believe this is a better way for common couples. My best friend and her husband they use different accounts and manage their own finances, and they even don't share details about outcomes. Their relationship is really intense to be honest. I don't think this is a healthy status for marriage. I was engaged last month, and my Fiance discussed this with me, and we both agreed to share our accounts and incomes, and spend money together.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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If you are married, have one account, and nominate someone to be the accountant/bill payer because this is for IRS auditing purposes (You share the home right? Its not like you have TWO homes, unless you are freakingly well off. )

then allocate budgets for whatever each year. The money you dont spend gets saved and rolls over for next year.

This is how it works in organisations, I am supposing this is how it works for mom and pop small businesses. If its too complicated, hire an accountant, but most can do MYOB. Your home might be your business, and you can claim whatever rebates back.

I think its a bit silly to be in the dark about your finances. You are both in it TOGETHER if you are married. But its bit different if you start up from scratch together, rather than someone has started and the other just joins later, which seems to be the case for a lot of marriages, Usually the wife then gets treated like the free unpaid labour, which is why many marriages fail when she gets totally burned out. Oh but im doing it for love. Well love, your husband is taking the lionshare and giving you the scraps.
 

Mitaze1075

Active member
Mar 8, 2019
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It’s sort of both. I had my own checking and savings and she had hers. We also had a “ our family “ banking account. I paid 100% of the bills through the “ our account “‘ by placing money into there from my own. Any money she had she kept in her own account and I put a few hundred in there a month. I trusted her and did not need to know the ins and outs.

That ended and I now a few years into another relationship. It will be the same. Our own separate accounts and the “family” account. If everything goes good then the accounts are fine. If for whatever reason it went bad we are both protected. Neither of us could wipe the others account out for whatever reason. Same reason why she has her own car, even though I am paying for it , in her own name and I have my own in my name. My name is also the only one on the deed and mortgage for the property. Acquired solely by my funds and through my account. 100% my money.
 

stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
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Yes most definitely. I did such when married before and will do so when married again. I am old school traditional when it comes to money and marriage. What is mine is hers and what is hers is hers.............LOL
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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I thought real old schoolers just put their money under their mattress lol

why should the bank have it?!
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
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I thought real old schoolers just put their money under their mattress lol

why should the bank have it?!
Have you been spying on me?

Lol

Actually we share many bank accounts. (It's more secure to have several accounts in multiple banks)

I access them when I need to. Otherwise I just let my wife pay the bills. I don't pay attention to them. Neither of us is stuff oriented.

We are not rich by any long shot...

But we are together...I'm going to retire long before she does and likely she will outlive me.

I have heard of separate bank accounts with couples...usually stemming from previous bad marriages. But my wife is the other half of me. She can answer for me most days of the week. God has his account too. It is his cut off the top of what we earn. He is the reason we live.
It's getting kinda full again. I hope we find some places to dump it out soon.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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yea its a bit disconcerting to have heaps of money to spend and nowhere or nothing to spend it on

some ppl get taught to save it but save it for what? No use just sitting there to get stolen
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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The more important question is would you share your blanket with your spouse

I went to see a widow the other day (her husband died last week) and it seems she hasnt got access to any money because the bank froze their accounts. ?!

I hope that sorts out soon because if she cant even access the accounts then she cant pay for things like bills and groceries. Some banks are callous in that regard when a spouse dies. They dont think that the widow is still alive and needs to eat and pay for electricity etc.

I asked her which bank was this and she named one that I left because they didnt know how to look after my accounts when someone stole a grand or so from me.
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
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Bahrain
hopefully no single people sharing bank accounts with a spouse lol
 
Apr 3, 2020
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No way I could put a future wife's name on account where she has unlimited access. Every guy I know who has a wife he can't get out of his income gets spent into oblivion. My dad step dad brother inlaw cousins friends every guy who did this has a home full of worthless vanity items while she spends more every year and they get in debt. I am not cheap but frugal. Many of these women will shop every week for hrs spend a few hundred per time.

No thanks. What most modern women want is their career. U pay the bills they squander their whole income on junk t hen claim hey I buy groceries. Yep I'm sure that cost 80k per year!!!! That will never b enough so then they need access to your income credit cards. Then you are calling dave Ramsey.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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No way I could put a future wife's name on account where she has unlimited access. Every guy I know who has a wife he can't get out of his income gets spent into oblivion. My dad step dad brother inlaw cousins friends every guy who did this has a home full of worthless vanity items while she spends more every year and they get in debt. I am not cheap but frugal. Many of these women will shop every week for hrs spend a few hundred per time.

No thanks. What most modern women want is their career. U pay the bills they squander their whole income on junk t hen claim hey I buy groceries. Yep I'm sure that cost 80k per year!!!! That will never b enough so then they need access to your income credit cards. Then you are calling dave Ramsey.
You need to meet more people. I know plenty of couples who have joint bank accounts and are doing fine. If every single couple you know who does that is having this kind of problem, you don't know enough people.

Either that or you live in a really rotten neighborhood full of crummy people. Maybe you should move somewhere else.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
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No way I could put a future wife's name on account where she has unlimited access. Every guy I know who has a wife he can't get out of his income gets spent into oblivion. My dad step dad brother inlaw cousins friends every guy who did this has a home full of worthless vanity items while she spends more every year and they get in debt. I am not cheap but frugal. Many of these women will shop every week for hrs spend a few hundred per time.

No thanks. What most modern women want is their career. U pay the bills they squander their whole income on junk t hen claim hey I buy groceries. Yep I'm sure that cost 80k per year!!!! That will never b enough so then they need access to your income credit cards. Then you are calling dave Ramsey.
80k?

what world do you live in lol

Im sure there can be limits out on accounts, but it tends to be banks that want people to overspend their credit. Banks should have cottoned on to this and designed special couple/married accounts that work in their favour not against each other. But no, banks are greedy and some are always trying to sell people useless insurance.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
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If I was running a bank, and people wanted to merge their accounts, I would just do a link account so there would still be separate accounts but they can link up into a third and place limits on it.

In libraries everyone with their own library card is then responsible for their own books, but if someone wants to use someone elses that person is deemed responsible for any books lost. Some think its easier but they might not borrow frequently or just to lazy to set up their own account. If you set up your own that means you can get out more because theres a limit to numbers of books you get out.

I dont think its the best thing for people to keep piggy-backing off someone else's account, you may think you being generous, but its going to hurt you both in the long run