Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?

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whatev

Guest
I wouldnt share accounts
If he needs anything he can talk to me But i wouldn't share all of my stuff.
Saw it with my dad. He leaves and empties the account..not withme
How about don't marry someone like your dad? I don't think I'd ever marry someone I don't trust, and truthfully my dad is someone I have little trust with. So, I married someone the exact opposite of Dad.
 
W

whatev

Guest
I’m the sort of person who never gets into debt. Never had a credit card or taken out a loan. If I want something I save up and budget for it. I also am ok splashing out as long as priorities are covered. I’m not a miser either I will cheerfully give to others when there is a need. I’ve given lots away over the years God has never allowed me to outgive Him though.

It’s hard to find someone with the same mentally even among Christians. We live in a society which borrows and uses invisible money at the drop of a hat. The buy now pay later mentality.

That’s why I personally would prefer separate accounts as most people that I know don’t think twice about credit cards and loans. Separate accounts would prevent a lot of arguments.
Our goal from the very beginning was to buy a house. To buy a house, you need credit. To get credit, you have to buy something you can afford on installment plans. (Our first installment plan purchases were cars. Our last one was to buy our first computer. A 486 Packard Bell with Windows 3.11, if you want to know how long ago this was.) We paid everything on time, because we knew we could afford to do that. Then we got the credit cards, and instead of paid off what we bought that month, we left a little in until the next month, because if you pay them all off each month, you're still considered a risky-borrower. (I don't make the rules, so don't ask me to explain why.)

But buying a house would have cost us 60 years of saving, since we'd have to pay for rent while saving up for the house, so I don't see anything wrong with buying a house on credit. I cannot imagine who those people are that they can buy a house in cash. I've known parents who give their kids a house as a wedding present, but then again those parents were saving for years to do that, too. And they owned their houses by that time, so could afford to save more each month.
 
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whatev

Guest
The trouble is that in modern American culture marriage is so over romanticized that most people don't stop and think just how serious it really is. I used work in a drive thru wedding chapel in Vegas. It was all great fun doing things like renting a convertable or a Harley, going thru the tunnel of vows (tunnel of love is copyrighted) having some fake Elvis sing a couple songs to you, with a minister, photographer and videographer and doing a burnout down the strip, while the bride throws the boquet over her shoulder without a care in the world, hair flyin' in the wind.

Great fun but people no longer consider, hey wait a min. This is a contract between us and God for life, I may have to change their diaper. They may die and leave me with a mountain of bills and kids to take care of with a broken heart. People now days are too myoptic and self centered. Who among us has considered when we got married, if things go right one of us is going to die and leave the other alone and probably with a broken heart or worse yet, divorced?

Amen to Paul in 1st Corinthians chapter seven saying it's better not to get married but because of our flesh maybe we should. (yes I paraphraised, I'm not going to type the whole thing out) but at least be serious about the comitment. Have fun with it, be happy, seriously happy. That's all for now,...calibob
Considering half the marriages in America end in a divorce, and that means half the kids have already lived through a divorce before they grew up, I can't imagine anyone not worrying about death, divorce, or heartbreak when considering marriage.

I'm younger than my husband, and he was 11 years younger than my mother was when she died. I went into this marriage expecting him to die in 7 years, because he was so very old already. I've been happily surprised for the last three decades he didn't do what I expected he'd do yet. And also very shocked at how young we both were! Still, unless we get in a car crash together and both die, one or the other will die first, and leave the other one heartbroken and feeling completely incompetent. (We're so used to the other one doing certain things around the house, we've lost all skills to do it ourselves. I know I used to be able to set up a TV. Now I can't.)
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
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Considering half the marriages in America end in a divorce, and that means half the kids have already lived through a divorce before they grew up, I can't imagine anyone not worrying about death, divorce, or heartbreak when considering marriage.

I'm younger than my husband, and he was 11 years younger than my mother was when she died. I went into this marriage expecting him to die in 7 years, because he was so very old already. I've been happily surprised for the last three decades he didn't do what I expected he'd do yet. And also very shocked at how young we both were! Still, unless we get in a car crash together and both die, one or the other will die first, and leave the other one heartbroken and feeling completely incompetent. (We're so used to the other one doing certain things around the house, we've lost all skills to do it ourselves. I know I used to be able to set up a TV. Now I can't.)[/Q

I was sharing my perspective as a wedding professional. that's all.
 
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whatev

Guest
I think what some people don't realize is that even if the couple involved is the most loving, most Christian-of-all-the-Christians-out-there people, there are plenty of people out there who are not, and can easily enter into the picture. You also don't know what changes your spouse might go through, such as turning to rampant alcoholism or addiction in response to the death of their mother.

I used to work at a store that processed a high number of money transfers, and I can't tell you how many lonely elderly people we had giving thousands of dollars every week to what they thought were young, extremely attractive members of the opposite gender online who "were in love" with them.

Even when we had the police talk to one particularly sweet elderly woman, she just wouldn't listen--until she realized she'd been scammed out of a rather large sum of money.

For those who had lost their spouse, I often wondered what their deceased spouse would say about them spending all the money they had earned together on a nonexistent, "hot" 24-year-old.

Now granted, I can't say I wouldn't fall prey to something like that either. I've had moments in my own life where I was in an emotional pit and did a whole lot of stupid things.

But I guess I am guilty of planning to haunt any future husband even from beyond the grave. If I should marry and then pass away first, I don't want my former husband spending any money I contributed to the relationship on his new 18-year-old girlfriend, sorry. IF he wants to spend HIS money on her, go right ahead--it's his to spend.

But if I want to will my last $100 to my nephew for college, THAT'S where I want it to go, not to some online predator who runs a lonely hearts club.

Now, as much as I would like to think he'd only do that out of all the IMMENSE SORROW he felt over losing me (ha ha ha), I would do everything legally possible to make sure anything I might have had or contributed went to better causes.
We planned to give our house and our possessions to our niece, when we died. She was a single mom raising a daughter.

Now she and her husband own, (as in "no mortgage"), their home and are planning the daughter's wedding this summer.

Life changes quickly.

May your nephew pay for his own kids college tuition before you have to decide where your last $100 goes. ;)
 
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whatev

Guest
before getting married, we talked about finances. we were completely honest with each other about whatever debt we had. we agreed how we wanted to handle da monies.

now that we are married, although he takes care of the bills, i have access to EVERYTHING. i don't check often, but i do look at our account. what we do is working for us. each couple is different.
Even checking how much money we have puts DH into frantic mode. So, I tell him, each moth, after paying the bills, "We have more money left than month."

And now that we're getting closer to paying off the house, I tell him whenever we hit a new marker on the mortgage. We have finally hit that spot where mortgage doesn't scare us to death. We can buy a used car for how much we have left to pay, and the car payments would last longer than the mortgage payments.

As long as we both don't worry that there is more month than money, we're good.
 
M

Miri

Guest
Our goal from the very beginning was to buy a house. To buy a house, you need credit. To get credit, you have to buy something you can afford on installment plans. (Our first installment plan purchases were cars. Our last one was to buy our first computer. A 486 Packard Bell with Windows 3.11, if you want to know how long ago this was.) We paid everything on time, because we knew we could afford to do that. Then we got the credit cards, and instead of paid off what we bought that month, we left a little in until the next month, because if you pay them all off each month, you're still considered a risky-borrower. (I don't make the rules, so don't ask me to explain why.)

But buying a house would have cost us 60 years of saving, since we'd have to pay for rent while saving up for the house, so I don't see anything wrong with buying a house on credit. I cannot imagine who those people are that they can buy a house in cash. I've known parents who give their kids a house as a wedding present, but then again those parents were saving for years to do that, too. And they owned their houses by that time, so could afford to save more each month.

I think houses and cars are different, mortgages etc. That’s pretty much
the norm.

I’m thinking more of people who take out credit and loads for clothes,
holidays, the latest games console, pay day loans, beer money. Many people
I know take out loans to cover Christmas costs. Or they just keep putting
things on credit cards and always seem to own thousands. They never pay it
off just keep topping up the credit and a large chunk of salary goes
to paying off credit, so they take out more pay day loans and so on..

I know a lot who do this.
 
W

whatev

Guest
Is not about money, because money represent Satan, money are Satan's bait. Like a fisherman use bait to catch a fish, the same Satan use money, earthly gold.

Then who is your teacher ?
You all better study Genesis chapter 3

Satan go at woman and the woman go at man.

By who is raised the man, not by the woman ? - and lead the child to have fun, entertain and to worship money ?
How about that! I'm buying my groceries with Satan! :LOL:
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,361
16,324
113
69
Tennessee
Considering half the marriages in America end in a divorce, and that means half the kids have already lived through a divorce before they grew up, I can't imagine anyone not worrying about death, divorce, or heartbreak when considering marriage.

I'm younger than my husband, and he was 11 years younger than my mother was when she died. I went into this marriage expecting him to die in 7 years, because he was so very old already. I've been happily surprised for the last three decades he didn't do what I expected he'd do yet. And also very shocked at how young we both were! Still, unless we get in a car crash together and both die, one or the other will die first, and leave the other one heartbroken and feeling completely incompetent. (We're so used to the other one doing certain things around the house, we've lost all skills to do it ourselves. I know I used to be able to set up a TV. Now I can't.)
I can't set up a TV either. I probably should read more anyways. When I remarried for the second time I knew I would probably outlive my late wife because she was already in serious declining health but I did my best to take care of her during the 11 years 2 months we were married until she died at the age of 59, the same age as me. I have since remarried. There will not be a 4th wife regardless of who dies first. This current marriage, happily I might add, is not my first rodeo but it will be my last.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,361
16,324
113
69
Tennessee
Is not about money, because money represent Satan, money are Satan's bait. Like a fisherman use bait to catch a fish, the same Satan use money, earthly gold.

Then who is your teacher ?
You all better study Genesis chapter 3

Satan go at woman and the woman go at man.

By who is raised the man, not by the woman ? - and lead the child to have fun, entertain and to worship money ?
Where in the bible does it state that money represents Satan? It does state however that it is the love of money that is the root of all evil, but not the money itself which is necessary unless you live in a country that still uses the barter system, providing of course that you have something to barter with such as a tomato grown in the garden. I guess then that in that circumstance Satan would represent a tomato. It is the love of tomato that is the root of all evil but it does go well in salad or a BLT if you are so inclined.
 
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whatev

Guest
I guess I'm all set then. If satan's only avenue of attack is through the woman, all I have to do is remain single and I'm golden. :cool:
Sorry, but it looks like you're on the chopping block again. Money is Satan. So either you're using Satan all the time, or you know how to barter very well.
 
W

whatev

Guest
Oh, labor pain is nothing. My mom said a bad toothache is worse. The amazing thing is, the baby kind of makes a woman forget what she just went through!

I think God is nicer to women than He is to men. He always looks after the underdogs and the weak. For example, when Samuel’s sons were being jerks and stealing from the people, God got onto Samuel for being a bad father- not on Mrs. Samuel.

Men have more responsibility. God always takes the woman’s side, like the woman taken in adultery- and when Tamar had to pretend to be a harlot because Phares did not keep his promise.

And God agreed with Sarah that Ishmael had to go- yet God was good to Hagar and had compassion on her in the wilderness.

Leah was hated, so God made her fertile. Then Rachel wanted a baby, so God let her conceive Joseph.

All throughout the Bible, God is very kind to women.

I wish feminists knew.
I'm fairly certain that loud screaming in the labor room is something.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
I'm fairly certain that loud screaming in the labor room is something.
Momentary pain for a lifetime of reward is nothing. I don’t know, but I think women are the more privileged sex as we get to conceive and bear children.
 
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whatev

Guest
According to Emil, Satan attacks men through women. The reason why men love money is becauae women have raised them to love money.

Since I am an old woman, he gave me the scriptures about how to conduct myself in a more seemly manner.
Let me get this right. Satan means money. Satan attacks women. Does that mean all women should be loaded?
 
M

Miri

Guest
Momentary pain for a lifetime of reward is nothing. I don’t know, but I think women are the more privileged sex as we get to conceive and bear children.

Psst, just think how cool it would be if men had to give birth instead. Lol
 
T

toinena

Guest
Loan. It is risky. But on the other hand you have the security in the house.

I moved out from a municipal flat. It was cold, it was badly maintained and the neighbors were not exactly the nicest people on Earth. The rent was set up to 1200 USD/month. I couldn't afford that! Now I pay 700 USD/month on my loan. I get tax deductions. And it is mine. More mine every month.

Of course the interest might go up. But the more I pay, the less the interest matters. I feel security and I feel at peace. I have more space and a private garden.

As for one day sharing this with a spouse. Should the loan be shared or the house be in both's names? It is mine... would a spouse feel comfortable with that? Or would he live here for free and I will continue to pay the bills on it? There are so many questions but the right man would probably get half of my house because that is what love and marriage is all about.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
I’m always talking about my grandparents because they had a good marriage and loved each other. They were poor. My grandfather said one time when my mother and uncle were small, my grandmother cried because she did not have enough money to buy groceries to feed her children.

My grandfather swallowed his pride and asked his mother to go to the bank to cosign for a loan. He got a fifty dollar loan and he told us he promised he would never let his wife worry about grocery money again. For years, he crabbed during the day and shrimped at night. This means he got up at 4:00, crabbed until about 2:00, came home to eat, rest, work on crab traps and go shrimping from about 5:00-8:00.

My grandmother picked crabs when her kids were old enough to go to school. They had a joint account, my grandmother made out bills. Since my grandfather made more, my grandmother used the money she made for the things she wanted- which could be things for the home, like a set of pots, or high heeled shoes and makeup for herself (which was also for my grandfather, as he was very proud of his beautiful wife and dated her every week as long as they were married and before she was sick with cancer).

My point is this: money can’t break two when their love is strong. They’ll figure it out.