Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
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Godwin's Law, CC version. Replace "Hitler" with "satan."
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
5,680
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In hopes of getting this train back on the tracks...........

My wife and I have always maintained a joint checking/savings account. Since I'm the one to sit down and pay the bills I'm the one who knows how much "disposable" money is in the account at any given time so my wife gives the courtesy of asking prior to major purchases, not because I demand absolute financial control but because she knows that a major purchase at the wrong time could have a bad affect on our finances.

I've know a handful of couples that do 3 accounts......his, hers, theirs and it always seems to me that there is a lack of trust and frequently a lack of long term financial planning as a couple that goes along with this model.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
8,626
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I am not disparaging anybody who does it differently, but I really don't understand separate bank accounts in a marriage.

I mean it's ALL OUR money. We are ONE flesh, ONE family, ONE name, under ONE Savior.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
Sho nuff. Mel just asked questions about bank accounts. And now we are talking about Satan. Lol
Well, the love of money is the root of all evil. So, there is a connection between money and Satan.
 
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
Yes Melita, communication in relationships is what it is all about. I was married twice 16 and 20 years respectively. I always expected, and got, joint accounts because I felt it showed trust. My first wife was a spendthrift and couldn't stand to hold on to money. We made very good money so I eventually opened up a savings account in my name only and hid some money there. It didn't hurt us any. When she finally found out, one time when I came up with some needed cash, she was pleasantly surprised. She knew money burned a hole in her pocket so she didn't mind that I would stash a little.

In my second marriage, my wife told me she could never manage a bank account and I would have to do it. I told her I could do it just fine, but being as how she needed the practice, she would do it. I said I would be around to help until she got the hang of it. She was never taught to be independent. Today, she is independent and manages just fine.

View attachment 184438
you are very seasoned as a Christian, I can see you as a role-model, maybe mentor someday, for all walks of life, whether financially, relationship-ly, practically, and especially spiritually as well
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,386
6,458
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In hopes of getting this train back on the tracks...........

My wife and I have always maintained a joint checking/savings account. Since I'm the one to sit down and pay the bills I'm the one who knows how much "disposable" money is in the account at any given time so my wife gives the courtesy of asking prior to major purchases, not because I demand absolute financial control but because she knows that a major purchase at the wrong time could have a bad affect on our finances.

I've know a handful of couples that do 3 accounts......his, hers, theirs and it always seems to me that there is a lack of trust and frequently a lack of long term financial planning as a couple that goes along with this model.
I am not disparaging anybody who does it differently, but I really don't understand separate bank accounts in a marriage.

I mean it's ALL OUR money. We are ONE flesh, ONE family, ONE name, under ONE Savior.
Interesting.

My friends who don’t share bank accounts also say that whoever out of the two of them earn less shouldn’t have a right to “spend” the higher earning ones money. But it makes me think, why did they get married in the first place if they cannot share money? It’s not even about money tbh, it’s about the unconditional love that was taken as a vow to their spouse.

Money is not evil, it’s HOW you use it and HOW you spend it wisely imo.

1Tim 6:10 “For the love of money is the root of all evil...”

Notice it says “for the love of money”, so when you start to put money first before everything else, that picture is telling us that you are loving a materialistic thing of this world.

But I do also understand why some couples don’t share bank accounts, but I stand by my statement of sharing it with my future H.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,744
1,757
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Germany
I would maybe make 3 accounts but not so much because I dont trust him just so...but because I know his weaknesses. And before running head down into depts id rather keep accounts seperate or make another one
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,386
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I would maybe make 3 accounts but not so much because I dont trust him just so...but because I know his weaknesses. And before running head down into depts id rather keep accounts seperate or make another one
In your case, you aren’t married though right?
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,386
6,458
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in fact that makes Adam, Satan's accomplice
Perhaps Adam wanted to see what would happen to Even when she ate the fruit. I read Genesis 3 and it does say that Adam was with Eve at that time....

Genesis 3:6 “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

But also, remember what follows Genesis verse 6.... Genesis 3:7 “And the eyes of them both were opened...”

Which means, Adam could have not possibily known the malicious intention of the serpent, as Adams eyes became open after he ate the fruit. So how could he possibly be an accomplice? More like a bystander.

But this is turning into a BDF thread and that ain’t the purpose lol.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,386
6,458
113
What’s God’s law regarding marriage if you and your partner are not married? (Not trying to be offensive sis, just trying to understand...)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
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Personally I believe in a shared bank account, for all the reasons everybody else has listed before... but I do understand why some people think it is a bad idea. With all the love in the world, some people are weaker than others. And some people have been burned by those weaker people.

"A dog who was once bitten by a snake will fear even a rope." People who have dealt with financially irresponsible spouses before probably don't want to do it again. Even if the next person shows every sign of being able to handle money well, there will always be that doubt in the back of the mind, "What if it happens this time?"
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,744
1,757
113
Germany
What’s God’s law regarding marriage if you and your partner are not married? (Not trying to be offensive sis, just trying to understand...)
Where does the bible say I need a pastor or judge to be married before God?
Gods law says if u commit yourself to. One another, become one flesh,... according to him ur married.
No need of paperwork, just commitment
 
Jun 23, 2018
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In the old vows, the MAN says “with my worldly goods, I thee endow”- not the woman. But she promises to obey, so there is a tradeoff.

You’re right about the oxytocin, the “love hormone”. According to my mom, a woman gets overwhelmed by love, and the recent pain does not really matter.
All of you make confusion between affection and love, between sex and love, what are not the same thing.
A woman is overwhelmed by affection and not by love.
How you the women love when you lie to your children about santa cloud, about rabbit that lay eggs, about being brought by a store, and training your children to worship ,namely to serve IDOLS through toys. How do you love when you train your children from when are babies to have fun and to entertain. Look around you upon this Earth. Why is this madness in human society ?

Because of fun and entertimen.

Fun and entertimen never teach respect and responsibility, BUT rules and regulations teach respect and responsibility, namely teach love.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
7,260
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lawton ok
Perhaps Adam wanted to see what would happen to Even when she ate the fruit. I read Genesis 3 and it does say that Adam was with Eve at that time....

Genesis 3:6 “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

But also, remember what follows Genesis verse 6.... Genesis 3:7 “And the eyes of them both were opened...”

Which means, Adam could have not possibily known the malicious intention of the serpent, as Adams eyes became open after he ate the fruit. So how could he possibly be an accomplice? More like a bystander.

But this is turning into a BDF thread and that ain’t the purpose lol.
yes that makes adam satans accomplice like if I rob a bank, give Joe some money and he knows it's ill gotten gains hes guilty. You wittness the crime, then share the spoils of the crime. Then you are just as guilty as I am, more than poor Joe. he's guilty after the fact but you and I are co-conspiritors? right, kinda like the difference between GTA and joy riding.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
All of you make confusion between affection and love, between sex and love, what are not the same thing.
A woman is overwhelmed by affection and not by love.
How you the women love when you lie to your children about santa cloud, about rabbit that lay eggs, about being brought by a store, and training your children to worship ,namely to serve IDOLS through toys. How do you love when you train your children from when are babies to have fun and to entertain. Look around you upon this Earth. Why is this madness in human society ?

Because of fun and entertimen.

Fun and entertimen never teach respect and responsibility, BUT rules and regulations teach respect and responsibility, namely teach love.
I happen to like Santa Cloud and rabbit who lays eggs.

So, women are incapable of love?
 
W

whatev

Guest
So, I’ve got friends who are married and some of them share their bank accounts (or merge it as one) but a few of my friends who are married don’t share their bank accounts.

The couples who don’t share give the reasons below:
1. They are happy with keeping accounts seperate.
2. They don’t need to know their spouses income (it’s a personal thing according to them).
3. They prefer seperate accounts so that they can manage their finances e.g one of them pays the bills one week, the other one pays the bills the following week etc etc.
4. One couple said that they were raised from backgrounds that never had to depend on their family members, so they’re comfortable of keeping it that way with their spouse.

VS

The couples who share bank accounts:
1. When you’re married, it makes life easier when you join accounts to manage the finances.
2. Easier to keep track of what’s coming in and going out.
3. It’s makes sense to merge bank accounts with your husband/wife.

Sooooo, would you or would you not share (merge) your bank account with your spouse?

Personally, if or when I get married, I would. I think, for me it would make managing of finances/income easier. But that’ll have to be discussed with my future husband if he agrees lol.

And if you’re currently married, or dating someone, you can share your experience/thoughts as well.
What is his is mine and what is mine is his. 95% of what we own is ours. (He can keep his undies, and I'll keep mine. :D)

We share everything including the money. As for doing bills every other week? I'd be tempted to figure out how to make mortgage-payment/insurance payment week his every time. And, fortunately, both always come at the beginning of the month.

I enjoy doing the bills because it makes me feel less anxious. I know how much money we have until the next paycheck. He hates doing the bills because he is worried he'll screw it up, and worries we don't have enough after paying them. But I don't enjoy doing the bills enough to want to do them every other week. It's not fun to do bills, so why do it more often than necessary?

And I saw Miri was worried about needing to explain buying a pocketbook. It's not a problem. We figure out how much we are free to spend without asking permission. And what we are free to spend takes into account how much income and outgo we have. When we were doing well, the number was higher. Now that we're not making as much, the number has lowered.

Think about it. Would you want him to buy a car without checking with you first? It's a big tab. But would you be upset if he bought a bike? It all depends on how much the two of you make, doesn't it? If money is tight, then buying a bike might be frowned on. If it isn't, so what?

We've never asked each other if we can buy personal things. I've never asked for a new pocketbook, new clothes, new shoes. I've told him I'm buying them. And he's told me the same thing.

And we tend to tell just to make sure the other one wasn't planning on using the money for something we needed in the meantime. After all, those months when the car insurance is due, as well as the car needs to be fixed, is not a good time for a new pocketbook and shoes. They can wait until next month.

Besides, even if he bought a pocketbook, he'd never use it. :LOL:
 
W

whatev

Guest
I prefer share :) you collect i spend it lol jk
Well when you are marriege with some one means you share all. Your live and everything you have.
So sharing is my options coz love means nothing need to hide all is transparent for both of us. Coz family is an open book for husband n wife :)
I'm still not sharing my underwear! That, and my toothbrush! :LOL: