Kinda new here…need some advice

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Gracie_14

Guest
#81
#81
FranC said:
Listen NNM

I agree with those here that say that Gracie should tell her parents. I believe parents are supposed to protect their children.
However, those that post that idea here are probably very good parents that would know how to help their daughter that found herself in this particular situation.

I'll say this, I was in a Dangerous situation when I was about 14.
I told my parents because I was really afraid and didn't know what to do.
Instead of helping me, they blamed me.

No only was I left with no help from anyone, but I never told them anything
again.

Not every parent could be spoken to...

Gracie finds herself in a bind and is not certain what to do.
To just keep repeating that she should tell her parents, is not helping her any.

Although I agree that she should, we cannot know why she isn't.
She sounds like a pretty smart girl. Let's give her some credit...

You know how many couples are meeting on the net these days?

I'd also like to say that here, most kids who start dating at 19 end up marrying the girl.
This is not unusual.
Click to expand...
Thank you FranC... im glad someone here understand my hesitation. im just trying to do the right thing. i know i have to tell my parents but im trying to figure out a way how.
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
#82
#82
FranC said:
Listen NNM

I agree with those here that say that Gracie should tell her parents. I believe parents are supposed to protect their children.
However, those that post that idea here are probably very good parents that would know how to help their daughter that found herself in this particular situation.

I'll say this, I was in a Dangerous situation when I was about 14.
I told my parents because I was really afraid and didn't know what to do.
Instead of helping me, they blamed me.

No only was I left with no help from anyone, but I never told them anything
again.

Not every parent could be spoken to...

Gracie finds herself in a bind and is not certain what to do.
To just keep repeating that she should tell her parents, is not helping her any.

Although I agree that she should, we cannot know why she isn't.
She sounds like a pretty smart girl. Let's give her some credit...

You know how many couples are meeting on the net these days?

I'd also like to say that here, most kids who start dating at 19 end up marrying the girl.
This is not unusual.
Click to expand...
she said they were in a relationship....


do her parents consider her single?


Proverbs 12:17 - [He that] speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.


Ephesians 6:1 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.



we can agree to disagree here on many things you just said
 
FranC

FranC

Banned
#83
Apr 30, 2016
5,162
75
0
#83
Gracie_14 said:
Thank you FranC... im glad someone here understand my hesitation. im just trying to do the right thing. i know i have to tell my parents but im trying to figure out a way how.
Click to expand...
Here's how:

Ask them a question...

Tell them you started writing to a guy on the internet and you seem to get along really well.
Tell them he lives in Italy and how you met.

Tell them you enjoy speaking to him and if they think it's OK for you to do this.

See what they say and then take it from there.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#84
#84
Gracie_14 said:
let me make things clear. this guy is not the person you think he is. he's so different and has complete respect and no inflections of being a pedophile. he has never asked of my address, phone number, not has he ever asked to meet. im very sure. ill post about in full detail so you can judge what he's like.

i didnt watch the video because it really has nothing to with him. if he was like 30yrs…then thats something to worry about. i appreciate all of your advice and it has really helped but you're kinda wrong about what he's like. dont worry…you all will soon find oitout
Click to expand...
Don't get me wrong...I have no idea what he's like :). I definitely am not making snap judgements. I just know things that CAN happen. Like, if you had watched the vid you would have realized there are grown men (in their 30's) who pretend to be teenagers. Have you ever talked to him over a video? Where you can see his face and hear his voice and he can see and hear you? I would recommend it. If he starts making excuses, I would be very wary. And hey! Since he is such a great guy, I'm sure your parents would want to hear about him. A healthy relationship and secrecy does not belong together; if you want a healthy relationship with him, I would highly recommend telling your parents :).
 
FranC

FranC

Banned
#85
Apr 30, 2016
5,162
75
0
#85
NoNameMcgee said:
she said they were in a relationship....


do her parents consider her single?


Proverbs 12:17 - [He that] speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.


Ephesians 6:1 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.



we can agree to disagree here on many things you just said
Click to expand...
Here's the thing...

The bible verses are correct and would be very helpful IF EVERYONE WERE CHRISTIAN.
But not everyone is.

As far as "relationship".

Do you think you could have a real relationship when two people are thousands of miles apart?
Unless they meet, they'll never know if they are truly compaitble.
As far as danger... if she doesn't give him her address and phone number, there really is no danger.
He's not going to drag her off to a hotel and murder her.
Besides the point, that this is not really a problem here.
Persons here are more naiive than in the U.S.
We're behind in EVERYTHING... even the bad stuff!

I'm sure she'll tell her parents when she feels comfortable with it.
Doesn't seem like she's trying to hide it...
 
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Gracie_14

Guest
#86
#86
FranC said:
Here's how:

Ask them a question...

Tell them you started writing to a guy on the internet and you seem to get along really well.
Tell them he lives in Italy and how you met.

Tell them you enjoy speaking to him and if they think it's OK for you to do this.

See what they say and then take it from there.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I'll try that. thanks a lot!
 
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Gracie_14

Guest
#87
#87
Tinuviel said:
Don't get me wrong...I have no idea what he's like :). I definitely am not making snap judgements. I just know things that CAN happen. Like, if you had watched the vid you would have realized there are grown men (in their 30's) who pretend to be teenagers. Have you ever talked to him over a video? Where you can see his face and hear his voice and he can see and hear you? I would recommend it. If he starts making excuses, I would be very wary. And hey! Since he is such a great guy, I'm sure your parents would want to hear about him. A healthy relationship and secrecy does not belong together; if you want a healthy relationship with him, I would highly recommend telling your parents :).
Click to expand...
Yes, i have seen a few pics of him. and it clearly shows he's the age he says he is. he wanted to have a video chat once but i don’t have skype so we never had a vid chat. Otherwise, I think you’re right in your opinion. Thanks for taking it easy on me though. I really found it interesting and helpful.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#88
#88
Gracie_14 said:
Thank you FranC... im glad someone here understand my hesitation. im just trying to do the right thing. i know i have to tell my parents but im trying to figure out a way how.
Click to expand...
Gracie, I was not aware that you wanted suggestions on how to tell your parents! I'm sorry...I seem to be totally answering the wrong side of your post.

Where did you meet this guy, and do your parents know you were on that site? If so, your situation is a little easier because you have a point of reference to start at. I would recommend being humble and totally honest. If you are sorry about hiding this from them, tell them. Admit that you were scared to tell them about it because you were scared what they would say. Give them the facts without making excuses for yourself or him. Which brings me to another point: does HE know that your parents don't know? If he does, is he encouraging you to tell them?

One other huge way I've found for talking to parents is to set a time. Let them know about it. If there are other siblings in the house, maybe suggest you and one or both of your parents go somewhere else like a park or tea shop. If you let your parents know about wanting to talk to them, it is way harder to back out of telling them.
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#89
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#89
Please be very cautious with people you meet online especially those in other countries. Not to scare you but ive heard stories of people meeting up with others in other countries and not heard from again. It's just the reality of this evil world we live in. It would be nice to trust everyone but we can't. We have to always be aware there are people with seem good but have sinister motives. Just writing a person is one thing however if you two begin to exchange personal information that's something you should tell your parents about. I do believe people here desire for you to be happy but are concerned for your safety
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#90
#90
Gracie_14 said:
Yes, i have seen a few pics of him. and it clearly shows he's the age he says he is. he wanted to have a video chat once but i don’t have skype so we never had a vid chat. Otherwise, I think you’re right in your opinion. Thanks for taking it easy on me though. I really found it interesting and helpful.
Click to expand...
Lol, I kind of hate to be such a nay-sayer! I'd be careful with pictures too. There are people who would have no problem stealing someone else's photos off of social media and using them to pose as a teenage kid. It has happened; this world is a messed up place. Get Skype! :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#91
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#91
Have you skyped with him? Videochat live with him. Then you'll know if he's really 19, and if he gives you excuses why he can't skype, then have him come into the chatrooms here and get on cam. If he still says he can't.... there's a good chance he's not who he says he is.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#92
#92
Tinuviel said:
Don't get me wrong...I have no idea what he's like :). I definitely am not making snap judgements. I just know things that CAN happen. Like, if you had watched the vid you would have realized there are grown men (in their 30's) who pretend to be teenagers. Have you ever talked to him over a video? Where you can see his face and hear his voice and he can see and hear you? I would recommend it. If he starts making excuses, I would be very wary. And hey! Since he is such a great guy, I'm sure your parents would want to hear about him. A healthy relationship and secrecy does not belong together; if you want a healthy relationship with him, I would highly recommend telling your parents :).
Click to expand...
zeroturbulence said:
Have you skyped with him? Videochat live with him. Then you'll know if he's really 19, and if he gives you excuses why he can't skype, then have him come into the chatrooms here and get on cam. If he still says he can't.... there's a good chance he's not who he says he is.
Click to expand...
Hear, hear! lol
 
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Gracie_14

Guest
#93
#93
Tinuviel said:
Gracie, I was not aware that you wanted suggestions on how to tell your parents! I'm sorry...I seem to be totally answering the wrong side of your post.

Where did you meet this guy, and do your parents know you were on that site? If so, your situation is a little easier because you have a point of reference to start at. I would recommend being humble and totally honest. If you are sorry about hiding this from them, tell them. Admit that you were scared to tell them about it because you were scared what they would say. Give them the facts without making excuses for yourself or him. Which brings me to another point: does HE know that your parents don't know? If he does, is he encouraging you to tell them?

One other huge way I've found for talking to parents is to set a time. Let them know about it. If there are other siblings in the house, maybe suggest you and one or both of your parents go somewhere else like a park or tea shop. If you let your parents know about wanting to talk to them, it is way harder to back out of telling them.
Click to expand...
i told him once that my parents know about us but i was really lying. he always encourages me to tell my parents because he doesnt want me to suffer. he still thinks my parents know. he really has a caring heart. and doesnt want me to be secretive…or hide anything from my parents. i just feel bad i havent made things clear for him. im really scared myself.

we usually chat online…for all those who needs to know…and we email eachother like for 10 hours a day. i'll let you all know about it soo. still, working on the post. i must say this…you guys have really made me think and im taking your advice in this situation. i have to find a time. but not at he moment.
 
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Gracie_14

Guest
#94
#94
Tinuviel said:
Gracie, I was not aware that you wanted suggestions on how to tell your parents! I'm sorry...I seem to be totally answering the wrong side of your post.

Where did you meet this guy, and do your parents know you were on that site? If so, your situation is a little easier because you have a point of reference to start at. I would recommend being humble and totally honest. If you are sorry about hiding this from them, tell them. Admit that you were scared to tell them about it because you were scared what they would say. Give them the facts without making excuses for yourself or him. Which brings me to another point: does HE know that your parents don't know? If he does, is he encouraging you to tell them?

One other huge way I've found for talking to parents is to set a time. Let them know about it. If there are other siblings in the house, maybe suggest you and one or both of your parents go somewhere else like a park or tea shop. If you let your parents know about wanting to talk to them, it is way harder to back out of telling them.
Click to expand...
ill let you and everyone else know about our meeting :)
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#95
Oct 13, 2014
6,891
1,960
113
Germany
#95
Jeez you keep interpreting more into my statement. Through that your twisting it to much worse.
It is true tho that many turn abusive. Maybe not the ones you know, but I keep seeing it over and over again. From my brother's aunt having a child from a italian man and ended up being abused, to other friends.
I am not saying that Italians are bad people. Just I keep seeing again that often it turns abusive especially when things happen through the internet.
And if its not the man, then its the woman lol! My father's first wife was italian and she always threw forks and plates etc. (not saying that he didnt deserve it sometimes)
etc.

There is no need to apologize as I am not offended :p fed up maybe because it DOES seem like I have become a red flag for you. But I am not mad at you or so.
I dont recall us having really talked besides Catholicism.
Besides, I am a straight shooter as well in case you havent noticed and I dont have a problem with being held accountable for things I say or dont say so go ahead.





FranC said:
You see Demi,

YOU are the one that made the unfortunate remark
yet you think I AM the one that is attacking !!
Interesting.

I told you that you should watch what you say.
MOST means a lot more than 50%
That would mean that more than 50% of the men I know HERE IN ITALY WHERE I LIVE
are abusive.

I know this isn't true, but how about those that are reading along and don't really
know and MAYBE believe you, although I would hope that they understand this cannot be.

So if you think I have a bad attitude toward you, I'm sorry.
It does seem to me that YOU have a rather bad attitude toward ME since
I don't believe we've ever spoken to any great length before.

In fact, I remember telling you once that you're a very smart girl.
I'm not here make friends or to make enemies.

I say it like it is. That's my character.
If you don't like it, I'm sorry but I said nothing to you which requires an apology.

ANZI....
Click to expand...
 
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Gracie_14

Guest
#97
#97
Demi777 said:
Jeez you keep interpreting more into my statement. Through that your twisting it to much worse.
It is true tho that many turn abusive. Maybe not the ones you know, but I keep seeing it over and over again. From my brother's aunt having a child from a italian man and ended up being abused, to other friends.
I am not saying that Italians are bad people. Just I keep seeing again that often it turns abusive especially when things happen through the internet.
And if its not the man, then its the woman lol! My father's first wife was italian and she always threw forks and plates etc. (not saying that he didnt deserve it sometimes)
etc.

There is no need to apologize as I am not offended :p fed up maybe because it DOES seem like I have become a red flag for you. But I am not mad at you or so.
I dont recall us having really talked besides Catholicism.
Besides, I am a straight shooter as well in case you havent noticed and I dont have a problem with being held accountable for things I say or dont say so go ahead.
Click to expand...
is everything alright between you and FranC, Demi? i hope im not causing division… :)
 
FranC

FranC

Banned
#98
Apr 30, 2016
5,162
75
0
#98
Demi777 said:
Jeez you keep interpreting more into my statement. Through that your twisting it to much worse.
It is true tho that many turn abusive. Maybe not the ones you know, but I keep seeing it over and over again. From my brother's aunt having a child from a italian man and ended up being abused, to other friends.
I am not saying that Italians are bad people. Just I keep seeing again that often it turns abusive especially when things happen through the internet.
And if its not the man, then its the woman lol! My father's first wife was italian and she always threw forks and plates etc. (not saying that he didnt deserve it sometimes)
etc.

There is no need to apologize as I am not offended :p fed up maybe because it DOES seem like I have become a red flag for you. But I am not mad at you or so.
I dont recall us having really talked besides Catholicism.
Besides, I am a straight shooter as well in case you havent noticed and I dont have a problem with being held accountable for things I say or dont say so go ahead.
Click to expand...
You're not a red flag to me.
I'm not Catholic, although I do defend that Church because I know its doctrines and many don't.

You ARE still insulting Italians !!

What if I said to you:

"Most American men act nice and then after they get married they become abusive."
"I know many American men that are abusive."

How would that sound to you?
Not so nice, right?

I have an idea.
Take a trip to Italy !!

P.S.

All the women around here are Italian. (go figure)
I don't know a one that throws Forks and plates or anything else.
Italian couples tend to respect each other and like to have a pleasant life.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#99
#99
Lot's of abusive men and women in Houston too.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#100
#100
FranC said:
You're not a red flag to me.
I'm not Catholic, although I do defend that Church because I know its doctrines and many don't.

You ARE still insulting Italians !!

What if I said to you:

"Most American men act nice and then after they get married they become abusive."
"I know many American men that are abusive."

How would that sound to you?
Not so nice, right?

I have an idea.
Take a trip to Italy !!

P.S.

All the women around here are Italian. (go figure)
I don't know a one that throws Forks and plates or anything else.
Italian couples tend to respect each other and like to have a pleasant life.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I don't know that you can make those generalizations. Abusiveness is an outgrowth of sin, and sin is universal. I happen to know that Demi did not mean it as a personal affront :)
 
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