Thank you and I guess I just don't want to break up with her because
I feel as though I might not meet anyone else or anyone I like nearly as much as her.
But you are 20 years old!!! It's not like you are middle aged guy like me. I'm married. If I weren't, I'd be concerned at how I'm deteriorating, wrinkles creeping in there, and my hairline is not going to move down. It's good I've already got a beautiful woman of God to be my wife.
But at 20, next year, you are going to look as good or better than the last, probably, for the next five years or so. You'll probably loose weight fast, too, if you exercise.
You are 20. How many people are there that you haven't met yet? If the Lord grants you to live, you could potentially live many more years, triple what you've lived so far. There are thousands of people you can meet. There are about three and a half billion people on the planet. I don't know what percent are in your target age group and not married, but I asure you it's a lot.
Also, financially, are you ready to marry? If not, why do you need a girlfriend to be tempted with? Unless you want to get married soon, there should be no rush.
But its probably at the point where I need to make up my mind because I often find myself on the verge of giving into her temptations and I should probably make a decision before I do something I might regret.
I lived through a similar experience. I was a virgin, and I wanted to marry a virgin. I hadn't thought through all the moral issues and hadn't had teaching on it, so I didn't see a problem with sitting around kissing a girl.
I was overseas, and I started dating this girl from another country. She said she was a Christian, and I took her to church. So we dated, and I'd kiss her. The thing was, though, I had this feeling that I could do whatever I wanted with her. English was not her native language. I said something about my apartment, and she misunderstood and thought I said something about taking her back to my place and seemed a bit too eager. She mentioned that she wasn't a virgin. I realized I was in a dangerous place. The only thing, it felt like, keeping me from sleeping with this girl was me and my self-control. Whether it was true or not, that's what it felt like. I decided to break it off with her. We'd been out on a few dates. We had a very amicable break-up.
I wanted to marry a virgin, and that may have played a role in me breaking up with her. But another huge part of it was the temptation. It just seemed like a dangerous situation.
Proverbs says do not awaken love until its proper time. I didn't hear this growing up, but kissing awakens a certain kind of love. Why should you make out with a woman who is not your own wife, who could well be someone else's wife later on? Don't engage in this kind of stuff with your girlfriend so it won't get hotter and heavier.
I had a friend before marrige who told me that there are ways in which adultery can be a bigger temptation than fornicating the first time. When you haven't had sex, it's a really big deal to actually go through with it. There is fear. It's just a big deal. But if you've done it before, it's more of a normal routine thing. You know what you are doing. For you, it's still a big deal. It may be less of a big deal for a girl who isn't a virgin. No matter who you date, you shouldn't do things to awaken physical love, such as too much intimate physical contact (making out, etc.)
But I mean where do I look? I'd usually look in the church but a majority of women in the church are either not virgins or are not compatible with me (I'm quite a unique christian).
You just need one woman to marry. Most women won't be compatible, or won't seem compatible with you. There won't be a 'spark' of interest with everyone. That's fine. You can pray and ask God to bring you one person. If you have your heart set on a virgin, pray about that. If God specifically leads you otherwise, you can use virginity as a kind of filter. If you find out a woman isn't, then don't go further in a relationship with her. Don't be mean about it, but don't lead her on.
I've tried online dating but the pool is pretty small even there and I don't get manly replies.
Good thing the girls don't give you manly replies.
(Most typos aren't so funny.) There are other places to meet Christian women, like other hcurches.
But at the same time I realize its selfish to stay with her just because I don't want to be alone. .
Yes, if you don't want to be along, get some friends and hang out with them. If you date, it should be to marry, and you should not lead a woman on. You don't want to bruise and batter her heart. The more emotionally invested she gets, the more a breakup hurts, so you have to do it fast or stop before it turns into anything if you aren't a match. Dating too long also wastes her time, especially those multi-year relationships during prime marriage years.
