Gay Christian?

[Dave]

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From a religious perspective, I have very mixed feelings on homosexuality. It does contravene nature's (and likely God's) plan behind us having 2 sexes in order to reproduce. On the other hand, from what I understand, in most same-sex couples, the partners love each other for who they are, not about each other's gender. I totally understand people that say that homosexuality is a sin, but I think it's best left up to God.

 

[TheAristocat]

What I am about to write here is never easy to admit. I am not proud of the way I feel. But each time I tell others my story, it becomes a little easier to breathe when I can reveal to others who I am and what I face.

I just want to clarify that, "who I am" will always be more than simply the struggles I may face in this life. I believe that though I may not be exactly what God wants me to be now, in this moment, every day He is making me into what He always knew I could become.

When I reflect on my life as a Christian who daily struggles with strong sexual and emotional attractions towards other females, I often feel like such a failure. I have felt this way ever since I was sexually abused one afternoon by a female baby-sitter when I was about 6 or 7 years old. It may sound terrible to admit, but I somewhat enjoyed what my abuser was doing to me at the time. At such a young age, I never realized what she did to me was wrong. From that day on, I was drawn to girls, wanting to write love letters and such and always seeking what I once felt with my abuser. I know all this may seem messed up. It was in a way. But this is my story. I had crushes on many of my close girlfriends, though I never told them, and often pushed them away when I felt the attractions might cause me to do something I regret. Because of this battle within myself, I pushed away a lot of amazing friends. The first person I truly fell in love with was my roommate in college. I had begun to cut myself because I was so sick of not being able to turn off my attractions toward girls. I knew God must have been throughly disappointed in me that by then I hadn't gotten my "crap" together. I finally told my roommate what I was struggling with on a prayer retreat, expecting that she might freakout on me. It took her by surprise, but she didn't push me away. In fact she loved me as a friend and for the most part tried her best to protect our friendship and not let my attractions towards her get in the way. Sometimes trying isn't enough. I won't go into details, but I felt our friendship had changed. Eventually she graduated and wanted to stay in touch, though she was leaving the country. I told her never to contact me. It was just too hard to see her go, and too confusing to continue our relationship, yet I loved her very much.

Fast forward till now, after more than three years of counseling with a renown Christian sex-therapist, I felt like I had discovered almost all there is to know about homosexuality from a Christian and Secular standpoint. I know now that even though I was sexually abused just once, it somehow changed something deep within me. I also know that it is more than simply that. I am not blaming my abuser for the way my life is now or the way it has turned out so far. Their are many people who have been abused that somehow have risen above all that pain and allowed God to heal them. My mother is example of just how powerful the love and healing of Christ can be. She was raped by her father on numerous occasions as a young child and out of all her siblings, she is the only one who can actually say that she has forgiven him and prays that God will bring him to Himself one day before he dies. You see, no matter what our earthly fathers may do, they are still our fathers. I do not write that easily or flippantly.

All this to say, I don't know if one day I will ever be free from this struggle I have. Honestly I am quite weary. Yet when I think of this quote by Theodore Roosevelt, it gives me courage.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

I appreciate your honesty and enlightening post. I've often wondered why depression is so prevalent among homosexuals, and I could only reason that it was because their love or lusts for others often go unrequited. But I don't think I'm any stranger to that, myself, as a heterosexual. Being a man - one who's supposed to initiate a relationship with a woman - there can be a lot of misunderstanding. Because if the woman doesn't desire your attention she can view you as aggressive and creepy, and sometimes voices those opinions of you. This can also wreak havoc on your self image if you hear it long enough. Just the other day I went to see a woman I once knew - a woman who knew the feelings I had for her a couple of years ago. I needed to get some directions from her to go to a place, but I felt weird waiting for her to finish with what she was doing. She was married now. And I felt odd standing there unnoticed by her, because I didn't want to surprise her and freak her out. So I decided to enter the same room to make my presence known. When she saw me she laughed, but it wasn't a laugh of delight or humor. It was a laugh that implied, "Oh, great. What are you doing here?"

Sometimes I wish we could read each others' intentions. There would be far fewer misunderstandings and heartache. But I'm glad your roommate didn't react negatively and was more accepting. You learned a certain behavior at a very young age that you shouldn't have learned, and it will doubtless be a struggle all your life no matter the sex of the person you decide to date or marry. But remain true to God, and God will honor you.

 

[homwardbound]

You know I have found in this walk here on earth, that there are three things that can tend to control us.
1. What others think about me
2. What I think about myself
3. What I think others think about me

All three are and can be very damaging. Can we learn to live above our circumstances, and it is only God that can reveal to us that we can. if we know God ahs accepted us
Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

If you know in your own self you are accepted in God, the creator of all, what need is there for those 3 controlling factors of the emotional flesh is there? When Born again, what will you do? Condemn or love all as God does? Hmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder

 

[Godslyric]

After reading this thread, I just thank God from the very bottom of my heart, that He will be judging me after I pass from this life, and not my fellow Christians...

 

[slr]

I believe in not judging the way others sin. I sin, You sin, and who am I to say that it's a better sin than the sin your commit.

 

[Ace85]

I just wanted to say that I believe that if someone has desires for the same sex, that it's not sinful. It's the giving in to those desires that's sinful. Like in the desert, Jesus was tempted but didn't sin. It's the same with heterosexuals. The Bible talks about lust been just as bad as the sin itself. That's when we need to rely on God to keep our thoughts pure and healthy.
but I also find it despicable the way the church rips homosexuals apart. Jesus told us to love our neighbours. He also dined with prostitutes and tax collectors - the despised and rejected. It's such a wrong attitude to have, as our attitude effects those around us. We are to be Jesus to the people!

 

[Jesusismyrock]

Interesting

 

[Jesusismyrock]

Ace85 is spot on. Giving in is what makes it sinful.

 

[homwardbound]

I just wanted to say that I believe that if someone has desires for the same sex, that it's not sinful. It's the giving in to those desires that's sinful. Like in the desert, Jesus was tempted but didn't sin. It's the same with heterosexuals. The Bible talks about lust been just as bad as the sin itself. That's when we need to rely on God to keep our thoughts pure and healthy.
but I also find it despicable the way the church rips homosexuals apart. Jesus told us to love our neighbours. He also dined with prostitutes and tax collectors - the despised and rejected. It's such a wrong attitude to have, as our attitude effects those around us. We are to be Jesus to the people!

Thanks, and so in essence, what is so amazing about grace anymore. I knew of a person that felt terribly guilty for what she was doing, and she was asked why not go to Church and get help.
the response to this was,
"CHURCH", you want me to go to Church, "I" already feel guilty and you want me to go to Church and feel worse? What has happened to Grace, has it become Legalistic?

 

[Chinekwu]

1cor 6. Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
to me its pretty black and white ..... can't argue what GOD says about it ...

The Bible says it, I believe it and that settles it!!! If we can't believe or trust what the word of God says then...i wonder what we should believe.. If the Bible says its wrong, then it is wrong

 

[HeyGiorgi]

Kudos to you. I love hearing about people in the gay community who still seek Christ. All God wants from you is an intimate relationship. We all sin, and it's controversial whether gay acts are sins anyhow, I'm not judging, it's not my place, but if you are willing to accept Christ as your Savior and nurture a relationship with him, well, I'll see you in heaven my friend.

 

[Daniela]

gay and jesus they don't go together

 

[HeyGiorgi]

LOVE how you put that! Amen, I agree!!

 

[Jesusismyrock]

gay acts are sin not actually being "homosexual"
everyone sins anyway. There are gay christians and they are real christians, they repent and try to fight it but they can't simply change to being heterosexual

 

[homwardbound]

gay and jesus they don't go together

Does any sin?
And I know for me at least "I" am not perfect, and therefore do not have any right to punish, anyone else for theirs.
Do justly, love Mercy and walk humbly.
Not self-righteously as many do, for me I have seen what self-righteousness does.
So by the grace of God here go "I". Love to you all here and there.

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
[h=3]Titus 3:3-5[/h]Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

[SUP]3 [/SUP]For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [SUP]4 [/SUP]But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, [SUP]5 [/SUP]not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost

If God does not accept a person that is gay, then God accepts no one, for all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory.
Now only God himself can change that in any person, not of man. Man can only plant and or water, for it is God that gives the increase to the truth, that does the teaching to each of us, to either agree with God or not.
I agree with God and am a work in progress that started at believing God. That God carries on in each of us that do believe God is real. Christ was and is the best one that has ever revealed God and God's Mercy to us all through Him.
Thanks, for God does just love us all. Maybe it is time to respond to God rather that try to create a righteousness the flesh can never do.

 

[homwardbound]

LOVE how you put that! Amen, I agree!!

Is your obedience perfect? Can it ever be?

1. 2 Corinthians 10:5
   casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
   
2. 2 Corinthians 10:6 and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

 

[homwardbound]

gay acts are sin not actually being "homosexual"
everyone sins anyway. There are gay christians and they are real christians, they repent and try to fight it but they can't simply change to being heterosexual

And it is God that knows who is who, and just loves us to death of self, and we come to agree with God as to what is beneficial and what is not and do accordingly as led. Too easy. fighting flesh desires only create and keep one is flesh selfishness of self. Stingy as what we all were from childbirth on, and taught to not be through fear. Where as God does the opposite through Love. The difference between flesh and blood, and the Spirit of God.

 

[Godslyric]

Let he who lives without sin cast the first stone...Sin is a problem everywhere, it operates in everyone, and no man walks this planet without sin...Other Then Jesus Christ...For men to gage what sin is more despicable then another is very bent in my view...Matthew 7-1, is a fine verse for me to keep in mind as I go through my day pointing my finger toward someone, or some group, and expressing my distain for their sin when Im sinning, as I do that...And I find myself doing it more then I care to admit too. As a Christian following Christ, I try to keep in mind the 2 commands Christ left for us to implement in our day to day walk. We all know what they are...Sin is sin, and we are all having to deal with it...The love of Christ needs to be freely passed on thru us, as it was, to us, from Him, from the cross. This love cant be passed along to any group of people that are feeling unloved and judged in such a harsh, foul manner out there in the world, which they are ... How can we as Christians attempt to shut the door to Christ in the faces of homosexuals, and still feel we are in Christ? Im not looking to stir up any discourse out here. These are just my own personal thoughts, and views on the subject matter. I believe the Love of Christ is for all who seek it, ALL, not just some. And everyone needs to tend to their own sin in this life...and share the Love of Christ without any judgments with anyone who wants a part in Christ. As He dose with us. Christ's Love is the cure for all mans ills in my view...We take our sin through the door in our church all the time, why are we so reluctant to allow a gay brother or sister to take theirs through the same door?...Is our sin of a better variety then theirs? Im glad God will judge me, and not my fellow brother and sisters...Welcome them in, and maybe you will see just how Christ can restore...This I see as an opportunity to grow in Christ, by inviting others into the fold that our worldly minds tell us to keep out...Maybe God tests us with this to see if we do love, like Christ loves...And if we can put our propensities to judge aside long enough to extend the Love of Christ to a group that we want to send far away out of our sight, we may see grace opporate up close...Peace

 

[homwardbound]

Let he who lives without sin cast the first stone...Sin is a problem everywhere, it operates in everyone, and no man walks this planet without sin...Other Then Jesus Christ...For men to gage what sin is more despicable then another is very bent in my view...Matthew 7-1, is a fine verse for me to keep in mind as I go through my day pointing my finger toward someone, or some group, and expressing my distain for their sin when Im sinning, as I do that...And I find myself doing it more then I care to admit too. As a Christian following Christ, I try to keep in mind the 2 commands Christ left for us to implement in our day to day walk. We all know what they are...Sin is sin, and we are all having to deal with it...The love of Christ needs to be freely passed on thru us, as it was, to us, from Him, from the cross. This love cant be passed along to any group of people that are feeling unloved and judged in such a harsh, foul manner out there in the world, which they are ... How can we as Christians attempt to shut the door to Christ in the faces of homosexuals, and still feel we are in Christ? Im not looking to stir up any discourse out here. These are just my own personal thoughts, and views on the subject matter. I believe the Love of Christ is for all who seek it, ALL, not just some. And everyone needs to tend to their own sin in this life...and share the Love of Christ without any judgments with anyone who wants a part in Christ. As He dose with us. Christ's Love is the cure for all mans ills in my view...We take our sin through the door in our church all the time, why are we so reluctant to allow a gay brother or sister to take theirs through the same door?...Is our sin of a better variety then theirs? Im glad God will judge me, and not my fellow brother and sisters...Welcome them in, and maybe you will see just how Christ can restore...This I see as an opportunity to grow in Christ, by inviting others into the fold that our worldly minds tell us to keep out...Maybe God tests us with this to see if we do love, like Christ loves...And if we can put our propensities to judge aside long enough to extend the Love of Christ to a group that we want to send far away out of our sight, we may see grace opporate up close...Peace

Thankyou agreed, all in love God's type not this world's type,
Luke 6:32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.

 

[didymos]

Last one to post in this thread wins.