sex before marriage?

[AnRev]

Sex before marriage has been around since the beginning of man. Adam and Eve were not married because marriage did not exist then.

Sex before marriage is not sin either, "If ye were blind, ye would have no sin: but now ye say, We see: your sin remaineth." John 9:41

"I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for except ye believe that I am [he], ye shall die in your sins." John 8:24

Even the self-proclaimed apostle Paul said, "But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry." 1 Cor 7:36

In the OT there are scriptures that if you understand what it is saying it means the same as what we say today; "try before you buy."

So, if sex before marriage is not sin, and if it has been around for thousands of years, what seems to be the problem? If you call it sin, then remember what Jesus said, " you are still sinning." Or do you even understand?

 

[kiwi_OT]

If it's only the guys we meet... do we somehow turn them into perverts?

Excellent point there. Thats why as women we have to be careful so that we're not inadvertantly encouraging the perving itself.

I have a question about the poll though, why is it asking us whether or not its right or wrong - we all know its wrong before marriage but to make it really interesting (and annonymous), couldnt the poll ask whether or not people have had sex before marriage? Be quite interesting...

 

[mercyswolf]

Absolutely not....I don't think I need to say anything more here and I stand behind what the Bible says about this.

 

[cookie39]

they already had this, but I can't find it...I say no. The bible is very clear on the subject.

where in the Bible does it say you are not to have sex befor marriage ?????

 

[mercyswolf]

Ok there's a difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament by far. But Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongersand adulterers God will judge." This should be self explanatory about sex being reserved for marriage and strictly in marriage. There's another verse somewhere but it maybe in a different translation also about keeping the marriage bed undefiled. If anyone can help it would be appreciated.

 

[Matthew]

But Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongersand adulterers God will judge." This should be self explanatory about sex being reserved for marriage and strictly in marriage.

That passage only makes clear that sex is honourable in marriage and whoremongering and adultery is wrong, not all sex outside of marriage can be qualified as one of those two, that does not state that sex outisde of marriage is wrong.

 

[lil-rush]

Paraphrasing this from a thread I responded to on a different site:

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 this passage shows premarital sex is wrong for the girl. It is bad enough for a girl to be stoned to death if upon wedding it is found she was not a virgin. It is "a disgraceful thing" for her to have "played the harlot."

and then Deutoronomy 22:28-29 It is obviously a shameful thing to sleep with a woman before marriage, otherwise a man would not get punished for it.

It seems to me that the girl is the one who is most negatively affected when it comes to premarital sex. She is the one who is disgraced, loses her honor, loses her virginity/innocence, is called a harlot, is the one stoned to death if it is found she isn't a virgin, is humbled.

A virgin is highly valued by God. He himself wants a virgin bride, is returning for His virgin bride. if we are to model ourselves after Christ, should you not strive to keep your bride a virgin?

So, while I can't find anything that specifically says premarital sex is wrong (other than verses using the word fornication, which appears to be an incorrect translation), there are the ancient words of God showing that a girl who is not a virgin bride is to be disgraced.

Sure, there is nothing about a guy who isn't a virgin being disgraced, but if you are a guy would you want to be the one that disgraces a girl and takes her honor away?

 

[AnRev]

It seems to me that the girl is the one who is most negatively affected when it comes to premarital sex. She is the one who is disgraced, loses her honor, loses her virginity/innocence, is called a harlot, is the one stoned to death if it is found she isn't a virgin, is humbled.

A virgin is highly valued by God. He himself wants a virgin bride, is returning for His virgin bride. if we are to model ourselves after Christ, should you not strive to keep your bride a virgin?

Both statements are absolutely true. Religion destroys the woman. There are religions in the world today that severely punish a woman and do nothing to the man for having sex outside a marriage.

A virgin on the other hand was also sometimes a person unknown to the other person. Unfortunately we have no message from God ever stating exactly when a line has been crossed concerning sexual behavior.

Whether you believe in creation or evolution, at some point there was only one man and one woman in either case. Therefore, man had sex with their sister in order to populate the earth. By todays standard, no one does that. Some people have suggested theories that God created other men and women but nothing can be proven.

If you look in the OT David killed a man to have a woman. Abraham has sex outside his marriage to have children. If you study history this type of behavior was common. So, where is the scripture that says sex before marriage is sin? There is none. If you truly study what sin is then you would understand what I just said.

Sex can make or break a relationship. Marriage puts you in chains that many will not break due to a bad sex life and live in misery for many years. People who like sex should be married to each other and not a person who does not. And people who do not like it, should not council those who do because sometimes people pick what they want to believe to support what they like or dislike and call it good.

 

[lil-rush]

Did you not read the scriptures I posted? They made it abundantly clear that a girl should not have sex outside of marriage. And so the question I asked is if a guy is willing to disgrace a girl just so he call fulfill his lustful desires outside of marriage?

And I was not trying to say Judaism destroys the woman. Judaism appreciates women more than most religions ever did.

And if someone does not like sex, that person really shouldn't get married.

 

[AnRev]

You live your life by the standards you wish to live. Let others live by the standards they wish to live. You're not accountable for any one but you and they for no one but them. You follow your beliefs and let other follow theirs. Sin is not based on whether or not a person has sex before marriage or not have sex after they are married. Each person governs their own life and it is not to be governed by another.

 

[sweet_eyes]

I have a question about the poll though, why is it asking us whether or not its right or wrong - we all know its wrong before marriage but to make it really interesting (and annonymous), couldnt the poll ask whether or not people have had sex before marriage? Be quite interesting...[/quote]

I don ' t think that would be a good idea. we shouldnt focus our attention on that. plus the mods would not like that!

 

[sweet_eyes]

i was quoting in the fi rst part of my message btw

 

[Walt]

You live your life by the standards you wish to live. Let others live by the standards they wish to live. You're not accountable for any one but you and they for no one but them. You follow your beliefs and let other follow theirs. Sin is not based on whether or not a person has sex before marriage or not have sex after they are married. Each person governs their own life and it is not to be governed by another.

The whats good for you may not be good for others, each person has their own standards, is a message that is a product of the world we live in.

I truely believe if you have the holy spirit alive within you, your eyes are open to see that this is a black and white issue.

Sex is intended for a married man and woman only.

Yes maybe people on this earth create their own standards, but there is only ONE standard that we should live by, the standard set by Jesus Christ.

 

[AnRev]

Yes maybe people on this earth create their own standards, but there is only ONE standard that we should live by, the standard set by Jesus Christ.

Jesus wasn't married, should we follow that? Let's do and see if the population of the world goes down or up.

"Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her." Seven men, one woman, nothing like passing it around. "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven." Mat 22:28 & 30

If no one marries in the resurrection, will sex still be allowed? And if sex is allowed, who will marry if it is prohibited? Do you think you will loose you sexual organs when you are resurrected? Will women? No one knows do they?

What is marriage, a piece of paper? Or what is in the heart? Do you know? No, you don't. Who is to say that when a couple decides to have sex that they are not spiritually connected and in a sense married? Maybe marriage is more than a piece of paper and a ceremony and you haven't figured it out yet.

 

[lil-rush]

You live your life by the standards you wish to live. Let others live by the standards they wish to live. You're not accountable for any one but you and they for no one but them. You follow your beliefs and let other follow theirs. Sin is not based on whether or not a person has sex before marriage or not have sex after they are married. Each person governs their own life and it is not to be governed by another.

That is what we like to call anarchy, and is nothing more than a theory. In the real world, every person is governed by others. And if you try to lead an anarchic life, it lands you in prison or worse.

 

[concernedguy]

Remember that we are given an example to follow that is neither practical nor realistic for humans to effectively emulate. But a perfect example is the only example to model from. If your compass doesn't quite point north, should you really be using it?

How can one have a perfect life by having sex before marriage?

This is the same as saying, "I have the perfect like by defying God's Word and committing
fornication because it seems right to me."

Jesus responded to this thousands of years ago. There are many ways that seem right unto
a man but the end there of is death.

How can you expect God to bless your marriage if it is based on fornication?

And remember, God said, "Don't touch." Sex is much more than touching.

Sex was created by God and ordained by God to be after marriage. Marriage is a way to
say you are committed to that person and not just in it for your pleasure. If you love someone,
you will do what is best for them. If you are interested in satisfying your needs, then you don't
love them. You just need them physically for a while till you get bored and find someone else
to start the process over again with.

Love is patient and not demanding. Having sex with someone prior to marriage violates both
yourself and that person.

Another way to say Love is patient and not demanding would be to say it this way since
many need things spelled out in simple terms they can't alter to fit their needs.

I love you so much. And even though I feel a strong desire for you, my goal is
not to defile you in any way. You are a blessing sent to me from God and it
is my duty to both God and to you that I never commit an act that defiles you
or blemishes your perfection in any way. As such, I put my desires in second
place to you. I devote myself to your happiness. A happiness neither you or
we as a married couple blessed by God will ever know if we violate God's Laws.
Let me start and set a standard today before we are married that I intend to
follow my entire life after we are married by making my first sacrifice to you
by pushing my desires aside and focus on what God wants me to do that will
grant us both God's blessings and His gift of a lifetime of happiness together.
For I know my desire for you serves only my needs. And, if I act on those
desires, it will be a selfish act and harm you in ways I will never understand.
I pray that my Lord and Saviour will always give me the ability to not
commit any act that would defile or blemish you or your happiness all the
days of our life.

 

[concernedguy]

The origin of the word derives from Latin. The word fornix means "an archway" or "vault" and it became a common euphemism for a brothel as prostitutes could be solicited in the vaults beneath Rome. More directly, fornicatio means "done in the archway"; thus it originally referred to prostitution. The first recorded use of the noun in its modern meaning was in 1303 AD, with the verb fornicate first recorded around 250 years later.[2]
Fornication is dealt with differently in various religions, societies and cultures.




Yeah fornication is a sin "visiting brothels or with prostitutes" as the original meaning and no later translation mistakes.

But fornication is not sex before getting marrried with a couple, it would be just with a prostitute.

Sex before marriage in any form is forbidden by God. God does not distinguish between sex with
one person, a group or prostitutes. Sex is any act that uses the sexual organs outside of marriage.
Sex by definition by God is between a married couple only.

 

[concernedguy]

Jesus wasn't married, should we follow that? Let's do and see if the population of the world goes down or up.

"Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her." Seven men, one woman, nothing like passing it around. "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven." Mat 22:28 & 30

If no one marries in the resurrection, will sex still be allowed? And if sex is allowed, who will marry if it is prohibited? Do you think you will loose you sexual organs when you are resurrected? Will women? No one knows do they?

What is marriage, a piece of paper? Or what is in the heart? Do you know? No, you don't. Who is to say that when a couple decides to have sex that they are not spiritually connected and in a sense married? Maybe marriage is more than a piece of paper and a ceremony and you haven't figured it out yet.

As with anything, if you take it out of context, you can make all sorts of remarks. However those
remarks demonstrate your inability to understand God's Word more than those words defy God's
Word.

Jesus didn't marry because as God's Word says, it is preferred that you remain single and focus on
God's will in your life. Some are called to remain unmarried.
Jesus said it is better to marry than commit fornication. Jesus also meant to be sure because your
marriage vow is not just till you get tired of your mate. Its a lifetime commitment.

To Jesus, the population of the world has no importance. There will always be more people being
born. Just like today, God has said what is right and what is wrong. People are still being born
and many are outside of marriage. There will never be a shortage of people as long as man
follows his desires. There will never be a shortage of people if man follows God since God
commanded us to be fruitful and multiply. The not getting married concept applies to those
called not to marry by God. They will know who they are.

Once we go to heaven, we will not have the earthly sex desires we have here. We will be
spiritual beings not fleshly beings. Our spiritual focus will be praising God not worrying about
our sexual needs being met.
These questions indicate a need for spiritual growth since your focus is on sex in heaven
instead of learning what the Bible says. Heaven is for worshiping and praising God. These
types of questions demonstrate you are focused too much on this world and not on what
God says or studying His Word to find out the answer.

I was mixed up before I started studying God's Word. I can understand how easy it is
to be mislead.

 

[concernedguy]

Sex before marriage has been around since the beginning of man. Adam and Eve were not married because marriage did not exist then.

Sex before marriage is not sin either, "If ye were blind, ye would have no sin: but now ye say, We see: your sin remaineth." John 9:41

"I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for except ye believe that I am [he], ye shall die in your sins." John 8:24

Even the self-proclaimed apostle Paul said, "But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry." 1 Cor 7:36

In the OT there are scriptures that if you understand what it is saying it means the same as what we say today; "try before you buy."

So, if sex before marriage is not sin, and if it has been around for thousands of years, what seems to be the problem? If you call it sin, then remember what Jesus said, " you are still sinning." Or do you even understand?

It is amazing that after over 2,000 years, many still use God's Word to seemingly provide God's approval
for their unacceptable acts which God will never approve of. Many of the posts in this forum are a
testament to the lack of Christians to read, study, understand and follow God's Word.

Sex before marriage will never be acceptable to God. The Bible even says don't touch. Sex is much
more than touching. No matter how a person justifies sex or any other sin that is unacceptable
to God, it won't matter when judgment day comes. On that day, you either followed God's Word
or you didn't. You are either His Child or you aren't. There is no middle ground.

 

[concernedguy]

Both statements are absolutely true. Religion destroys the woman. There are religions in the world today that severely punish a woman and do nothing to the man for having sex outside a marriage.

A virgin on the other hand was also sometimes a person unknown to the other person. Unfortunately we have no message from God ever stating exactly when a line has been crossed concerning sexual behavior.

Whether you believe in creation or evolution, at some point there was only one man and one woman in either case. Therefore, man had sex with their sister in order to populate the earth. By todays standard, no one does that. Some people have suggested theories that God created other men and women but nothing can be proven.

If you look in the OT David killed a man to have a woman. Abraham has sex outside his marriage to have children. If you study history this type of behavior was common. So, where is the scripture that says sex before marriage is sin? There is none. If you truly study what sin is then you would understand what I just said.

Sex can make or break a relationship. Marriage puts you in chains that many will not break due to a bad sex life and live in misery for many years. People who like sex should be married to each other and not a person who does not. And people who do not like it, should not council those who do because sometimes people pick what they want to believe to support what they like or dislike and call it good.

I don't have answers for all your statements but I don't understand everything God does.
But sex before marriage is forbidden by God. God forbids sex in any form prior to marriage.
Sex before marriage is fornication and God forbids it.
The reason people feel trapped in marriage was because it was their decision to get married but
not be devoted to that person making it the other person's fault that made them unhappy. In our
world today, everyone is taught another person makes you happy. But this is a lie.
True happiness comes from devoting yourself to another person and becoming so entangled
with each other that the deepness of your relationship is a higher priority to you than just a sexual
need. Many today base their relationship on a sexual need that is temporary and then wonder why
their relationship falls apart in just months.

Relationships today are based on "what can you do for me" and not "how can we grow together
and build a life together?" You can justify sex before marriage in any way you want to but when
you stand before God, those excuses won't matter. That's why He is God. God isn't interested in
what you think when it violates commandments He has already set forth.

There will always be those that base God's Word on their limited and most of the time wrong
understanding instead of basing their life and understanding on God's Word. God warned against
doing this. God's word is clear on the subject of sex before marriage. It can be summed up in one
word - DON'T!

Mankind's attitude toward God's word hasn't changed since 2,000 years ago. And then, as Jesus,
the Son of God stood before them, they still told Jesus he was wrong. God's Word deals with
the heart. As long as mankind follows after their selfish, self-fulfilling-but-always-leaves-me-empty
desires, they will remain unhappy. And worse yet,they advise others to follow in their footsteps to
disaster.

If many people who worry and expend their energy as they do in regard to sexual desires applied
the same energy to following God's Word, many of today's problems would not exist.


There are many ways that seem right unto a man but the end thereof is death.