When he checks out another girl in front of you.

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S

ServantStrike

Guest
#21
I dated a guy who did that. It irritated me so i told him. He said that he was so used to doing it that he didn't it realize when he was doing it. Anyway, he was all.. i'll stop. Turns out he never did. So i said bye bye.

My point is, you need to talk to him about it. That's totally not an ok thing to do.

I want to say this as well. Him staring at other women is no reflection on you and how you look. I know it's hard, but don't take it personally. He would be staring at other women no matter who he was dating.
Seriously.... talk to him about it. Nothing will change if you keep silent on this.

If he kept staring, he was NOT being a man of God, so you made the right call ditching him.

Ephesians 4
Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#22
Men- AND women- are going to notice other people, in a relationship or not.

The key word here is notice.

If your boyfriend is looking, and then staring, and then ignoring you, and then mentioning the girl he was ogling...
I don't know how to make him stop, but I do know that's a pretty big red flag in a relationship.
I know how to stop it. Say goodbye for good. He won't do that you again.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
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Georgia
#23
I'd punch him in the eye...... just saying :p
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#24
I know how to stop it. Say goodbye for good. He won't do that you again.
I find it amazing the garbage women will put up with.

He looks at porn, but he's still a good Christian and I know those women don't mean anything to him.
He flirts with other women, but I know he's just being polite. Those women don't mean anything to him.
He had an affair, but he was weak. I know that other woman didn't mean anything to him.
He stares at other women, but that's just what men do. I know those women don't mean anything to him.


Oh really? If they don't mean anything to him, then I suppose it might be high time he gave it up.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#25
I'd punch him in the eye...... just saying :p
Maybe both eyes, blacken 'em, so's he can't still be peeping with his good eye...
(gosh, I'm not actually violent...why is that so funny to me then?!)


I find it amazing the garbage women will put up with.

He looks at porn, but he's still a good Christian and I know those women don't mean anything to him.
He flirts with other women, but I know he's just being polite. Those women don't mean anything to him.
He had an affair, but he was weak. I know that other woman didn't mean anything to him.
He stares at other women, but that's just what men do. I know those women don't mean anything to him.


Oh really? If they don't mean anything to him, then I suppose it might be high time he gave it up.
You're right.
Men put up with a lot too, but that's...yeah.
You're right.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#26
Way to go spammers...

Kill a thread with a positive message.
 

Chainhand

Senior Member
Jun 1, 2013
331
21
18
#28
No but seriously, checking out other girls is not all right. Even if he were single, if it gets your attention when he does it, he's probably doing it in a sexual way and that's obviously not right either.
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
#29
If he's looking at other women, it doesn't seem like he has that much respect for you.

I'm assuming that you've told him to stop, and he most likely knows how much it bothers you. Not to judge, but if he really cared for you, he would stop doing it, or try as hard as he could to stop doing it. You need to discuss something like this with him.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#30
I wonder if she's cute...
All we really know is she sells hard drives.

Marital status is listed as separated though, so... yeah, probably best to avoid.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#31
I agree with everyone else. It's not right. I think you should have a serious discussion about this with him, and if he doesn't care to change.....that's not a good sign at all. Wish you the best Ashla, you're a wonderful girl :) . God bless.
 
Dec 21, 2012
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#32
He looks at porn, but he's still a good Christian and I know those women don't mean anything to him.
He flirts with other women, but I know he's just being polite. Those women don't mean anything to him.
He had an affair, but he was weak. I know that other woman didn't mean anything to him.
He stares at other women, but that's just what men do. I know those women don't mean anything to him.
I did all that and lots more before I was born again.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#33
No man can claim that because he is "visual" he's allowed to look at other women. No man.

No man may gawk at any woman other than his wife, and that is biblical truth right there. I know more than a few guys who will back me up on this.

Job 31:1
I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?


Matthew 5
[SUP]27 [/SUP]Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
[SUP]28 [/SUP]But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


Just because there is no sex involved doesn't mean there isn't a fair degree of lust. A man gawking at another woman isn't thinking "gee, I like her dress", he's thinking thoughts which I do not care to elaborate on.
So men should avoid looking at women altogether even when talking to them?

Oh but she crossed my path!! Unavoidable.

Men put up with a lot too.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#34
I did all that and lots more before I was born again.
Which of course, begs the question if someone does this to a woman, are they even born again?

Matthew 7
"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?

Luke 6
For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.


I usually don't encourage people to judge someone's salvation, but when it's something permanent like getting married, I see very little reason to believe that behavior will improve with time if a man isn't already behaving as a Christian should.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#35
I know I'm posting in the singles thread but I wasn't too sure where else this post might be suited.

I've been with my bf for almost a year now and one thing I've struggled in dealing with is that when we're out together he always seems to be checking out other girls. Now I don't know if it's because he's a guy and he just likes to look because 'men are visual' as I myself have received similar glances from other guys who are with their girlfriends or if he's doing it to see if they're checking him out.

I know he loves me and he very well does his part in showing me that he does but it's just this one little habbit I just cannot come to terms with because it is now starting to make me feel really insecure and although I didn't mind at first and just ignored it, I'm now left in a state of confusement and in need of enlightenment!

Help?
Start checking out guys in front of him. Then when he starts to complain you can tell him that's how it makes you feel when he checks out girls. :rolleyes:

If he doesn't have a problem with you checking out guys then keep doing it until he does.
 
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TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
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#36
If he doesn't care that it bothers you, that is a red flag you shouldn't ignore.
That's something I can agree with. When my grandparents were young and dating my grandfather one time kept 'ogling' other women in the church congregation who were walking by. My grandmother told him that if he wanted one of them so badly he could have her. But he said that he was looking at their beehive hairdos, because he didn't know how they got their hair to stay up like that. lol But I would agree that if he doesn't stop it after you tell him how you feel and politely ask him to stop, then that would be a red flag.

I think this sort of thing is similar to when your girlfriend hugs an old friend. She may have quite a few old male 'friends' and for some reason she feels the need to hug every one of them. If you tell her to stop she may think you're controlling and become defensive of her friends. If you tell her how you feel, she may think you're a wuss. So it's a difficult situation. But a person of understanding will be considerate and avoid emotional responses. Just tell him and consider his following response.
 
R

rainin

Guest
#37
Maybe both eyes, blacken 'em, so's he can't still be peeping with his good eye...
(gosh, I'm not actually violent...why is that so funny to me then?!)




You're right.
Men put up with a lot too, but that's...yeah.
You're right.
Im not violent either but sometimes you just want to punch a person right in the face out of sheer frustration....I think it's a bit funny myself....not sure why either.
 
May 3, 2013
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#38
"...he always seems to be checking out other girls..."

Here you are checked and scanned. Ja! Ja!

"I know he loves me..."

Wow! If I were eating well, if I sleep well. Do I need to think on another thing? (Just to keep in mind).

We (men) even OLD, like to see, but if I have my own ice cream, do I NEED to look at others cups? (I gave a sigh)

Open your eyes and ask more girls / women.

This week, when I came back from the hospital, my brother was scanning all those he liked. When he invited me to lunch, I told him why he insists on asking girls their phones... He is sleeping with a woman who loves him. He is not completely happy, because she is fat (i would feel the same) but I NEVER GET ENGAGED with some I don like.

Next question, for her, it'd be: Am I being liked or loved?

Some people is used and left, abused.

I hope you are smart to GUESS what I am saying.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#39
When I was married,both my wife & I were secure enough in our love for one another that if either of us happened to notice an attractive man or woman when we were out somewhere or even watching a film or something on T.V. it didn't bother us or make the other feel insecure. Neither of us acted like pigs about it or became lustful in our talk or actions concerning it,we simply acknowledged that we found said person pretty/attractive/handsome,and then we moved on. I don't think it's wrong to see someone & find them physically attractive & own that thought. The problem is when it becomes lustful. Men & Women are both "visual" creatures. Sure,Men may be a bit more than Women...but lust is lust & gawking is gawking...and that's just plain wrong & disrespectful weather you are in a relationship with the opposite sex or not.
 
May 3, 2013
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#40
also if I am ever in a relationship with a guy who compares me to another girl
even if to say I am prettier
he will at that momment find himself single

I am not insecure about my looks at all
simply put he should not be comparing me to others in any way
Good! Comparison are needed BEFORE choosing or being chosen but, after a DATE (which is a more close friendship) why do I need to compare?

She, the one who invited me, the one I INVITE, needs no one else, except me.

By the way, Does any one here want to date me (or be dated by me)?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just delete the advertisement. (It was a x-mass present a Grinch left)