This was a really good thread. And it's very useful for if I develop a meaningful friendship with a lady friend and want to meet her in person.
I don't know if I've ever been catfished, but I know two men who were. My friend from long ago created a match.com profile. And he talked to like three women who all had the same story - and they would ask him to get on messanger, OFF the site. That is a red flag too, I think, when someone wants you to go off the site immediately and displays an immediate romantic interest. And they all had the same story of having lived in Africa and stuff. They ended up asking him for money. He wasn't that dumb, but their grammar and spelling, like you said was really bad. But many people online are lazy in writing good English - so you can't rely on that clue alone.
The other guy was actually looking for love too, and he got really interested in a few girls - would give them the directions to the airport so he could pick them up (individually of course, as he was interested, I think, in one at a time) and then they would cancel on him. His wife had died a few years before, and he really wanted companionship. But after a few deceived him, he got bitter - and would lie to others online on his messager list in a sort of vengeance for what happened.
Both these men were in their 50s, and naive about the dangers that lurk online.
I think some places are crawling with more catfish than other places. These men, it seemed they just attracted these predators. I think the sites you go on, and how you friend the person (on messenger and such) has something to do with the probability of running into one of these scumbag catfish.
I met my husband on Facebook. And I probably opened up to him too quick, and he was the one who asked me after we'd been talking a while "Hey look, I got a business trip to go on to SC this weekend, and I was thinking about swinging up to WV to meet you. Do you want to do that?" My husband however, used correct grammar and spelling, even punctuation, which even I'm too lazy often to put a period at the end of my last sentence in instant messages.
We didn't Skype before we met, except in audio. I didn't have a cam at the time, and maybe I should've asked him to video chat with me first, even though he couldn't see me, but I didn't know much about Skype as I rarely used it. He told me he was booking a hotel to have a place to stay while he was in WV - he didn't ask to stay at my place, he just assumed that he may not be welcome. We met in public, and actually, he said later that if I had suggested to meet at my place for the first time, he would've been uncomfortable with that and refused.
I didn't have a car, and went by bus to where we were going to meet. Maybe hopping in the car with him after only talking to him an hour was a mistake that could've cost me dearly - but I was comfortable with him. Maybe it was unwise to hop in the car with him and go 900 miles to spend the summer with him, when he'd only spent three weekends with me. But I did. And I got to see his environment, and everything was as he told me - he co-owned a small business, he lived in his mom's large house, there was Branson Landing that he talked about - it was all true. I took crazy risks (though he's not the first I have), but I lucked out. He proposed to me, just like he said he thought would likely happen.
I have done some pretty stupid stuff online. But for my Facebook, I do not post my number or address. I'm very transparent online. I used to go in chat rooms regularly years ago, and do dating websites, in which I would post semi-personal information. I've added quite a few people to MSN Messenger, and the Yahoo and AOL Messengers alike. There were a few that I met that I talked to for a significant amount of time. I've met a few men in person that were only one date, and I met a few in person that I ended up in a relationship with, or was already in relationship status.
I think it's possible to fall in love online. I know a woman who got engaged to a man she hadn't even met yet! I think that's a but extreme (but each to her own) - my husband and I had hopes of hitting it off, but we didn't fall in love until we met in person. I have fallen in love before I met the guy, but really, you don't have a real relationship until you connect in person. I firmly believe that.