You have every right to negotiate your own marriage terms with a prospective spouse. If not accepting a prenup is non-negotiable to you, then he has to either marry you on those terms or find someone else. This isn't about forcing anyone to do anything. This is about the criteria each of us have in what amounts to the second most important decision of our lives.
My criteria is that I would never marry without protecting myself in the event my prospective spouse chose to divorce me at some point in the future in this era of easy no fault divorce. I prefer a prenup but can manage around it using divorce trust financial instruments IF I live in one of the few states that respect them.
If I don't live in one of those states, and am not keen on less protective substitutes such the Delaware statutory trust, for example, then we are not getting married which is my God-given choice.
It is moral for a woman to choose or refuse marriage with or without a prenup and it is moral for a man to choose or refuse marriage with or without a prenup.
You are not more moral for refusing to marry without a prenup and I'm not immoral for not marrying you as a result. We both have the freedom to make the decision if we will marry and under what terms.
Marriage contracts are very biblical and have a long history in Judeo-Christianity. The Ketubot (Marriage Agreements) and Kiddushin (Betrothal) tractates in the Nashim (“women” or “wives”) portion of the Mishnah contain the most definitive information on laws that governed Jewish marriage in antiquity.
In ancient Israel, when a young man desired to marry a young woman in ancient Israel, he would prepare a contract (or covenant) to present to the young woman and her father at the young woman's home. The contract showed his willingness to provide for the young woman and described the terms under which he would propose marriage.
In modern Western society, women now negotiate directly for themselves exactly like men do. Two people either determine the terms of their marriage contract (e.g. prenup) based on their respective criteria or do nothing and let the state determine the terms for their marriage by default.
I don't like the state's terms, so we either negotiate alternative terms we both believe in, marry someone else that does, or don't marry at all. It's that simple.
I understand there are certain cases that needs this agreement and that some people here are comfortable doing it. But still, for me, I do not believe in it, neither will I do it. And if it came down to it, then my future husband n' I has to talk A LOT about it, n' we both have to be convinced, meaning, he has to give me a REALLY good explanation why he wants to do it because I don't have kids from another marriage n' I'm still not seeing ANY other "Good" reason for me to sign such agreement because like how Christian74 said, it will definitely create a seed of doubt in my heart and mind that won't be sitting well with me.
