I honestly dont know what kind of answer I wanted with all of this. I have been praying and asking God for some kind of understanding. I left a part of the story out with all my confirmations, but I made sure and meditated on it before I ever got into this relationship and I KNOW without a shaddow of a doubt that God told me this was my husband. I had my loved ones around me pray too, and they felt the same way. SOme of of them even got told Brian was the one for me before I even felt anything.
Now something else we prayed for right before we broke up, was for God to mold us into the man and woman He wanted us to be, because we were happy in our relationship, but knew something was really missing. God was our focus, but like you said before me, we both had baggage. I carried alot of insecurities, selfishness, trust issues, and he had gotten out of a bad breakup with a fiance not too long before we got into the relationship. I talked to him the other day and he told me that hes not looking and hasnt looked and has no desire to look, neither have I. I for some reason feel as if this is going to be a long process or I dont know......I feel down on my hope and faith in God. I love God so much and Hes been so good to me, but I dont ever feel this far away from God. The other day, I cursed God and felt like I didnt need him in my life, and THAT IS NOT ME......I felt so bad, but was just so mad!!!!! I didnt want to be in this relationship, I didnt want another broken heart, so I struggle........I dont know what answer I want to hear or if there is an answer. Its hard for me to reach out to God when I dont understand, and yet I am told to remember the promises He has told me. I feel like its impossible, and then Im told of Phil 4:13. Please pray for me....I hate being this so far from God. I want to be content with my life right now, where it is!!! I do know that God dosent lie, for scriptures says its impossible for him to lie, I just feel like he did, but yet, the future hasnt happened.
Now something else we prayed for right before we broke up, was for God to mold us into the man and woman He wanted us to be, because we were happy in our relationship, but knew something was really missing. God was our focus, but like you said before me, we both had baggage. I carried alot of insecurities, selfishness, trust issues, and he had gotten out of a bad breakup with a fiance not too long before we got into the relationship. I talked to him the other day and he told me that hes not looking and hasnt looked and has no desire to look, neither have I. I for some reason feel as if this is going to be a long process or I dont know......I feel down on my hope and faith in God. I love God so much and Hes been so good to me, but I dont ever feel this far away from God. The other day, I cursed God and felt like I didnt need him in my life, and THAT IS NOT ME......I felt so bad, but was just so mad!!!!! I didnt want to be in this relationship, I didnt want another broken heart, so I struggle........I dont know what answer I want to hear or if there is an answer. Its hard for me to reach out to God when I dont understand, and yet I am told to remember the promises He has told me. I feel like its impossible, and then Im told of Phil 4:13. Please pray for me....I hate being this so far from God. I want to be content with my life right now, where it is!!! I do know that God dosent lie, for scriptures says its impossible for him to lie, I just feel like he did, but yet, the future hasnt happened.
I don't blame you if you're just downright mad. You can be mad at your husband. You can be mad at yourself. You can be mad at the people who are giving you what they think are revelations from God. But if you want to make sure that you're doing right you can always play it safe and not marry again. That's the only advice I can offer you with a guarantee of abiding in God's will.